Long Distance Moh?

I now live in Louisiana. My MOH is in NJ and bridesmaids are in MD, PA and FL.

I’ve personally been a bridesmaid many times, including when I lived in MD and the wedding was in FL. I planned a Bach party and a bridal shower in FL from MD. I was also a BM when the wedding was in the Bahamas, I lived in LA and I planned the shower & Bach party in PA.

Its completely do-able! However, if your friends aren’t organized or they just want to show up vs help plan, it could cause some difficulties.

I'm in PA and my MOH is in Florida. When I asked her I told her I completely understood if she didn't want to do it. Honestly, for me there was no one else I would ask other than my aunt. She was pretty excited to be involved. We did my shower and bachelorette in the same weekend so she would only have to come up once. Although, I wasn't expecting her to attend those events anyway. She wanted to be there. I told her she could get any dress she wanted but she wanted to go dress shopping with me when she came home for the holidays. I think if your MOH and bridesmaid say yes, be flexible and understanding.

My MOH lived across the country and there was no issue. We used Azazie for dresses so everyone ordered their own for try ons and we had a group chat to share photos of the ones they were deciding between and to talk other attire details and hair/ make up plans. My mom and aunt hosted my shower and quite frankly I didn’t expect her to come and wouldn’t have been bothered if she opted out— but, she made the trip which was much appreciated! The girls helped with prep/decorating and game planning. We planned the bachelorette for the weekend before the wedding so she’d only have to make one trip (she stayed local for the week) which worked out well. Im sure one of the other girls took more of the lead on planning since that party was here, but they were all involved and played their part. So, she was around for all the events. It would’ve been okay if she had to miss — disappointing maybe but understandable— but all that really mattered to me was to have my best friend by my side on my wedding day.

I’m on CO and the bridal party is in CT, MA and NC. I just try to communicate well so far no issues

I'm in TN and my MoH is in Louisiana. She's totally jazzed for the day, but she isn't planning anything, like a shower or bachelorette party. If you want someone long distance to do things like that, definitely have an up front talk with them. And if you want one of the bridesmaids to do it, talk to everybody. Your MoH may still want to consult on plans.

I’m in TX and my MOH lives in Europe, so it’s totally doable. But you need to be really upfront about your expectations. I don’t expect any of my bridal party to do anything but buy the dress and show up. I’m not having a bachelorette and all my bridal showers (there are multiple) are being hosted by friends of my mother. While I want her to be involved and we do communicate every day, as long as she’s there the day of I’m fine. However if you are looking for someone to go meet vendors and help you with any DIY you may have, you might need to call on your other bridesmaids.

I have been MOH in a wedding where none of the bridal party was local, i'll be a bridesmaid in another where no one is local, and only one of my bridesmaids is local. The rest all live up and down the West Coast (I'm in WI).

I'd recommend being clear about your expectations. When my friend asked me to be MOH for her wedding in Boston I asked her what that meant for her and what she expected from me before I could say yes. She said "Honestly all I want is for you to show up, in the dress, and make a speech."

As PP have said just communicate well, set up a good group chat or email chain or whatever so all your girls have access to you and each other. So far we've had no issues in my friend group.

My MOH lived a few states over... and was 8 months pregnant! That being said, we talked all the time about life, her pregnancy and the wedding. She was super excited and the wedding gave her a distraction from the trials and tribulations of baby planning.

That being said, there was obviously a limit to what she could, or even should, help with. I thought she would just show up and give a speech - she apparently didn't want that. We set firm boundaries, and I checked in a lot. She was able to help plan the bachelorette party and bridal shower with my bridesdude (he was local). My mother-in-law was also in active communication with her. I also did a lot of stuff on my own or with my husband instead. My husband did the food tasting, vendor tour, etc. with me.

As for dress shopping, I did that on my own. I found a style I loved. Sent that over to her, and asked her to try it out. She loved it. I got pictures and gave the go-ahead. I also sent pictures to her of me in my dress.

I thought the experience was great. But you do need to be okay with flexibility and finding creative ways for her to be involved.

My MOH lives in San Francisco, I live in Denver. I have 9 bridesmaids total, and only one lives in the state I live in (she lives 45 minutes from me and isn't a super involved bridesmaid anyway - she's my fiance's sister who is older than me and has never been a bridesmaid). So far, it's been easy! My MOH planned my bridal shower in Southern California. 6 out of my 9 bridesmaids went. 4 lives in Southern California, one drove from Arizona, my MOH flew in from San Fran, and I flew in from Denver. My mom hosted my shower in CO, two of the other bridesmaids made it to that (one that lived in CO and one that lived in Wisconsin, that was visiting). It wasn't traditional as in I go dress shopping with all the girls, they all go to the shower & bach, etc. But it was still really fun! I never was going to be the bride that needed help planning or expected them to be involved though.

Thank you, everyone!

I was in AL and my bridal party was in FL, IL, and NC - it worked out very nicely

My best friend lives in another state than me. She is my MOH and it can be challenging but try to be understanding. For instance she came back for my shower and planned my shower. But she could not make it to my bachelorette and that is ok. When I mean try to be understanding, I just mean be mindful that they do have to travel a lot to go to each event and it could be really difficult time wise and financially for them so you could always offer to help pay if they need it. Luckily we live in the age of tech so them being able to offer planning help virtually is easy. My MOH is available and responsive to me when I ask for opinions and planning. It is definitely more convenient to have someone local but things will work themselves out

Oh yeah! Wedding is in Oregon, I live in Alaska. One BM is in NY, the other in Cali, my MoH (sister) is in Oregon and my other BM is in medical school 5 hrs from my hometown. Honestly, as long as you don't expect much from them it is easy. Find dresses online that you like and just ask that they be there in spirit! Because my friends all live far out of state, we are doing my bachelorette on the Thursday of the wedding so that they don't have to fly in twice.

I live in Chicago and my MOH is in Minnesota. I also have two other bridesmaids that are out of state. I havent had any issues! We just communicate thru text and email. I ordered my bridesmaid dresses thru azazie so if anyone wasnt home to try them on we I ordered the sample dresses they just did it on their own.
They are all coming in for my Bachelorette party but I doubt my MOH or other out of town bridesmaids will make it to my shower and I'm okay with it. I'm a little sad but that's okay! I have other bridesmaid that are local and willing to help if I have anything last minute coming up.

I live in DC and have two bridesmaids here with me plus two in PA, one in NJ and my younger sister / MOH in Boston. My girls here came with my mom, sister and I dress shopping which was great. They don't all know each other but they all know my sister which helps. I also picked a bridesmaid dress sold all over (alfred sung) so they can all try it on and get measured in person. I haven't had any issues yet so I don't think it should be too tough. Good luck & best wishes!