Lodging: least tacky way to ask for reimbursement

Is it optional to use the lodging or do you pay for the cost of the lodging that is available regardless (like it is part of the venue)? If you have to pay for it no matter what, I don't think there's any way to make it not tacky. I wouldn't ask people to pay for something that is part of your venue cost.

I don't want this to sound rude but if you can't afford to pay for everyone then you shouldn't have made plans to have everyone stay there. There are numerous hotels that will supply a hotel room block for no costs but give an ending rate for the special rate and holding the rooms.

View Quoted Comment It's optional. We are all very close and loved the idea of being able to stay onsite.

I attended a wedding at a camp where lodging was included with the venue rental. The bride/groom did not ask anyone staying there to pay. I don't think you should either if it's part of your rental fees. If it's separate, then guests can call to book and pay for their own rooms.

If it isn’t part of your venue cost, why do you have to pay upfront?

I wouldn’t reserve the additional rooms. Can’t they book their own accommodations?

View Quoted Comment I appreciate your feedback. The lodging is optional we haven't gotten it yet because we can't afford it. We will only do so if we feel others can pitch in and then we wouldn't block hotel rooms.

View Quoted Comment It's not part of it just a nice addition of we choose it.

View Quoted Comment There are 5 large houses that accommodate up to 80 people total.

View Quoted Comment They could but the reason we chose this venue is so we could all stay on site. IRS a farm wedding and the ability t be able to have a bonfire late night appealed to use.

View Quoted Comment Hahaha yup!

You keep saying "we." Who is the "we" - you and your FH or your entire guest list? This makes a big difference. Most guests do not want to room with 15 other people for the weekend. Make sure your guests know the rooming situation and the cost and let them know there are other options nearby.

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We rented a cabin for our wedding weekend for our wedding party so they wouldn't have to pay any lodging expenses. Their SO's and +1's were included as well and I believe there were about 14 people total, including us.

It was the best time ever! We got the master bedroom, so still had plenty of privacy, but it was WAY more fun than having a place of our own.

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We as in FH. Well we are a very outdoorsy and close knit group. Most of don't really care where we sleep or how many people are there.

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Awesome thank you! That might be the way we have to go. I know I just love the idea of having all my favorite people in one place.

View Quoted Comment You can't decide where people stay. It's really as simple as that. If you can't afford to pay the lodging costs, then just book hotel rooms and let it go. Your wedding is the ceremony and reception. You shouldn't have booked a venue just so you can all stay there when you have no idea if this is what your guests want.
There's no non-rude way to ask for payment because what you're asking of them is rude.

We considered a venue where this would have been the case. We would have handed off the task of organizing rooms and collecting money for lodging to a family member and referred our guests to talk to her if they wanted to stay on site. However, we would have been prepared to eat the cost of the entire rental if nobody ended up using the lodging. As people here have stated, you can't "force" anyone to stay on site with you, but I think if you give people the option (and state the cost up front), plenty will be willing to take it (I'm assuming you know whether your crowd will be game for it or not). But I would by no means count on that money.

Our venue also has optional lodging onsite that we have to pay upfront for. On our wedding website we said "lodging is available for all guests the night of the wedding (insert date) for $$ per person. Please contact the bride or groom if interested". We put the link on our save the dates , and are including an insert with the link with our invites as well.

View Quoted Comment That's a great idea thank you

View Quoted Comment I appreciate the feedback. I do not appreciate the ugly comments however. I asked a valid question. My friends are not against staying with us and we have discussed the option with them and they are more than open and willing to help pay. My FH's friends and mine like staying in large groups because we are a large and tight knit group as I have mentioned before. We just would like to offer a way to pay to our quests that have offered to help out because it is cheaper for them than paying for a hotel. I wish i didn't have to explain all of this but I am saddened by the harsh responses I have received and the obvious judgments. Thank you to all who have offered positive feedback.