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Denise
Just Said Yes September 2022

Live Band or a Dj?

Denise, on August 15, 2021 at 10:20 PM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 28
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My fiance and I have agreed to every single wedding detail except for this one. He is absolutely set on a live band that was at both of his brother's weddings who's music I am not a fan of, but it's also his mother's favorite band and she agreed to pay for it as long as we choose that band. I want a DJ who can do everything, make announcements, run the ceremony, provide all the technology needed for mics, etc. I just think it's a better idea and they can do more. But none of this matters to him, he just wants this band. We have been arguing for weeks off and on about it and I don't think either of us will change our minds on what we want...what do we do?

28 Comments

  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    We’re going with a dj. They have access to thousands of songs sung by original artists. The dj knows how to read the crowd so everyone is on the dance floor the entire night and don’t play songs that are duds. A live band costs much more, songs and styles are limited and they don’t read the crowd.
    • Reply
  • Candace
    Super March 2022
    Candace ·
    • Flag
    We were able to find a band who also DJs on their breaks or at certain times we ask. They learn 2 songs for us for the first dance and father dance. Do you think that band would be flexible about playing songs on breaks and playing some songs that are more your style? Tbh that's kind of a jerk move of the mom to say she'll only pay for the music if you book the band she wants. This is your day. Does your fiance even like that music? Did he love it at his brothers' weddings? Maybe you can insist that you want your wedding to be different than theirs.
    • Reply
  • Rebelle Fleur
    Master July 2021
    Rebelle Fleur ·
    • Flag
    If you cavort to do both do both. Maybe have the band play during dinner and the cocktail hour.
    • Reply
  • W
    Super September 2020
    Willow ·
    • Flag
    How many guests do you have? Who's going to MC? Who is going to handle the mics and sound during your ceremony? Is your FH expecting you to listen to music you don't even like for your entire wedding?


    This kind of lack of consideration for you and refusal to compromise is an issue that won't end with wedding planning.
    Can't you go to a concert for this band, or have the DJ play some of their songs?
    • Reply
  • Denise
    Just Said Yes September 2022
    Denise ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    We’re expecting 200 guests and if there is no DJ then I don’t know who will be handling mics. His mother hires this band for private concerts pretty much anytime she throws an event and he plays in the area 7 days a week. I’m not sure why he is so stuck on them being there.
    • Reply
  • Denise
    Just Said Yes September 2022
    Denise ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Yes he likes their music too but we can literally see this band anywhere at anytime…I just think a DJ will be better.
    • Reply
  • Candace
    Super March 2022
    Candace ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Maybe he (or even mom) is just afraid of the unknown. Look up some DJs on YouTube in your area and ask around for referrals to some. If he doesnt believe you that a DJ would be awesome, try to get some other people to show him.
    • Reply
  • Denise
    Just Said Yes September 2022
    Denise ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    We had a consultation with one that was a great pride and included a photo booth and he still wasn’t swayed. Literally everyone except for his mom has told him a DJ is a better option.
    • Reply
  • Candace
    Super March 2022
    Candace ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    That sucks. It sounds like it's the mom you have to convince :/
    • Reply
  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
    • Flag

    We had a live band for our wedding and it was undoubtedly one of the best decisions that we made. The band that we chose specialized in weddings and the band leader did a fantastic job at MC-ing, making announcements, reading the vibe of the crowd, running the show well, and they provided top of the line technology to do so. That being, said, you and your fiance need to be in agreement and I wouldn't hire someone if you don't like their music...is this just a normal band who plays a specific genre or a band who specializes in weddings? If the former, then I'd probably decline your MIL's offer to pay for the music

    • Reply
  • AJ
    Super October 2022
    AJ ·
    • Flag

    I'm thinking about hiring a live band for ceremony/cocktail hour and then just using a playlist for reception

    • Reply
  • Denise
    Just Said Yes September 2022
    Denise ·
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    They have done weddings before but generally they just play at different bars all over town. They’re a cover band that does soul style music. They are also on a first name basis with his parents and all of their friends so I’m afraid it would be way too casual. His MIL even said she would want him close to them so she could “talk to him” during the set…
    • Reply
  • SLY
    Master January 2022
    SLY ·
    • Flag

    I always prefer a DJ over a band because of the fact that they can play almost any song and genre that you want, plus they usually have mics for the ceremony and for announcing plus toasts. Plus, when they go on a break they still have music playing so you don't notice that they're gone which is nice.

    Live bands are nice, but they limit you on the selection of music that's played. Maybe see if he'll be okay with compromising and have the live band play for cocktail hour and while everyone is eating, then have the DJ take over for the rest?

    • Reply
  • C
    Dedicated September 2021
    Conny ·
    • Flag
    I ageee on DJ via live band for the simple fact that DJ is more than a band. It is a sound company that does more (ours even does sparklers , mics , a lot more). I found and even paid a small deposit for an amazing live band but I decided to go with a DJ. We have multiple generations attending and it would be nice to have diverse music at the wedding!
    • Reply
  • bevbabe
    Devoted June 2023
    bevbabe ·
    • Flag

    I think a dj is more important than a live band. I would only do a band if you can do both.

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  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag

    I been to a wedding that had both and honestly i thought the DJ was better. because the band only sang a couple of songs and that's it. so it felt kind of a waste.

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  • J
    January 1895
    Jessa ·
    • Flag

    You have been fighting about this and that's not good. What is your resolution? To get the DJ because that is what you want? You both need to compromise here. Maybe that looks like him getting the band but you get something else you wanted but he didn't. Maybe you have the band and a DJ. Maybe you have the DJ but he gets to choose something else he wanted that you didn't Maybe you don't have either because you cannot work together for a solution. You are planning to be married, learning to work together is very important.

    • Reply
  • M
    Beginner June 2022
    Melissa ·
    • Flag
    Let him pay for the band if he wants it && you pay for dj it makes more sense the dj does more
    • Reply
  • Alison
    Just Said Yes October 2023
    Alison ·
    • Flag
    I went to a wedding this weekend that had both a band and a DJ and if you MIL is willing to foot the bill for the band and you still have the space in your budget for the DJ, why not do both? The band can provide music for dancing and the DJ can handle intros, first dances, and the music during dinner when you want things to be mellow.
    • Reply
  • Kyra
    Beginner October 2021
    Kyra ·
    • Flag
    Can you speak with the band about doing the announcements like a dj would? We chose a dj to have a variety of music and in my opinion live music I never wanna turn my back to so dancing wouldn’t happen as much but a dj I have no problem dancing to.
    • Reply

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