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Super September 2017

Lingering resentment

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Al, on January 24, 2016 at 12:57 PM

I have some lingering resentment with a friend who got married in Sept. I was her maid of honor and her sister was matron of honor. In the process of all the planning I just felt like she was unappreciative and at times unreasonable. I tried to be as understanding as possible and didn't bring up any of stuff I was struggling with in my life as she was planning her wedding bc I knew she was stressed. It's been 4 months since her wedding and she hasn't made any effort to see what's going on with me or my life. I feel used, like she wanted me around when things were hectic for her and she had no problem asking me to spend like, $600 to be in her wedding, and now she barely contacts me. I'm thinking about who to have in my bp and am just not sure what to do. I think if I don't ask her to be a bm it might be the end of our friendship bc she'll be offended. I also don't know how to talk to her about how I feel without sounding like a needy girlfriend (you never ask me how I'm doing waaaah!)

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26 Comments

Super September 2017
Al · on January 24, 2016 at 4:47 PM
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@MissEtoMrsB it was a pain because we were all under the assumption she would be providing transportation until we got a group text 2 weeks out. I had already planned my ride to her house to get ready and then my ride home from the reception. In the text she also volunteered me to drive others...which I was not comfortable with and wish she had asked me privately. It was a decent amount of driving, about 20 minutes to ceremony site from her house, 20 minutes to the site where the pictures were being taken, then 40 minutes to the reception venue. Her saying she would rather spend that money on herself and her husband really rubbed me the wrong way...while I understand wanting to save money, it felt like she just cheaped out on the people that were helping her the most while making sure she got everything else she really wanted. I mean, if she hadn't disclosed a lot about her financial standing throughout the wedding planning, I might have been more sympathetic.
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Super October 2016
Jenna · on January 24, 2016 at 5:02 PM
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When you say you were under the assumption, was that because she had told you that specifically, or because you just figured it would be the case? Getting voluntold isn't cool, though.
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Super July 2016
Katherine · on January 24, 2016 at 5:03 PM
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You should at least give her the chance of responding to your concerns. Show her this post.
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Super September 2017
Al · on January 24, 2016 at 5:10 PM
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She had said she was looking at limo services and had said that there wouldn't be transportation from the venue back to her house (where our cars would presumably be) and made sure everyone knew they would need to find a ride home, but hadn't said anything about us needing to have rides to each location. I had already told her my plans (drive to my mom's house, have my mom take me to her place to get ready, and would get a ride home from the reception with my fiance) and she said that sounded good. Cut to a few weeks later when she said *cough cough so and so has a new car, maybe she could drive?* Yeah I don't think that's the right way to ask someone for a favor.
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Master September 2015
NowASeptMrs · on January 24, 2016 at 5:29 PM
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Would your day and planning experience be better or worse with her involved?
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Super September 2017
Al · on January 24, 2016 at 5:43 PM
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@NowASeptMrs I really don't know. I suppose I'm trying to figure out if she would respect me and my wedding enough to not make things about her. I did reach out to her to get together next weekend, so we'll see how it goes. I swear I'm really not that hard to get along with! Lol. Just a thank you or some genuine interest in my life would make me feel a lot better.
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