Limiting the amount of people on rsvp

Hey Amanda, we share a wedding date!

Using the "# seats have been reserved in your honor" is quite common. That being said, anyone with a SO gets invited as a unit. It is also generally considered proper hosting to give anyone over the age of 18 a +1 (although this is always a topic of debate).

I think that's a great idea personally...weddings and "per persons" can get expensive and they should understand that... I personally would not be offended

Thank you Mrs. Katie K. I didn't consider the whole over 18 thing. It may be proper but I can't see that working out so well with cousins and family friends. Awesome, thanks!

I put ___ out of 4 attending

Not the exact wording, but along that, I don't have it in front of me.

I don't believe it's too harsh. It's not necessary to put on there, but it's a good option if you believe your guests won't pay attention to the names you address your invitations to on the envelope. Clarity can be a good thing and that's a very subtle way to be clear.

Be sure to still address your invitations to exactly who is invited, even if you use this option. If you send an invite to a woman who has a boyfriend and only address her envelope to her name or her name and guest, she will think you are inviting her with any guest she wants to bring. If her boyfriend isn't available, she would potentially RSVP for her and a friend if hers that you don't know, and she'd be correct to do it. If you're specifically inviting someone and his or her SO, address the invite specifically to her name and his name. Only use "and guest" on a situation where you are giving an adult who doesn't have a SO the option to bring a guest, and the freedom to bring any guest he or she wants.

I'm a little worried about what you've said about inviting the SOs of "most" of your guests. Married, engaged, and couples in committed relationships are considered social units. If any of your guests have an SO, no matter how serious you think their relationship may be, it's against etiquette to not invite their SO. You don't have to give plus ones to truly single guests, but keep in mind that someone's SO (married, engaged, or dating) is not a plus one. The SO is the other half of the social unit and must be invited.

I did some like this as well.... As weird as it may be...I had to create two separate invites and RSVP... I have my dad's side that can be adults and respect my wedding wishes....then there is my mom's side that we had to put strict wording on ... This was the more lenient version lol.. the other one also had to break etiquette rules and say no children because well, they have ruined other weddings in the last year...so per my mom, she wanted to make separate invites for certain immature family members that she can hand deliver them to so she can give them a speech. Hopefully your family is easier to work with. Mine is a pain in the ass and will try to bring their whole damn neighborhood...I wish I was kidding....

I put ___ seats have been reserved in your honor. I don't think it's harsh. Actually, in my case it's completely necessary

We put a similar line on our RSVP cards. Mainly because we weren't inviting kids other than our nieces and nephews.

You should allow any single members of your wedding party a plus one and everyone in a relationship (no matter how long or short) should be invited by name as a social unit. You will need to leave flexibility in your guest list for singles who enter into a relationship between now and when you mail your invitations. Otherwise, it's ideal to allow all single guests a plus one but not required if your budget and/or venue capacity won't accommodate that idea.

I did it and I loved it. Not all people filled it out but they did state the names of who was coming so that was easy. Here is ours...

Love this idea!

It's the best idea, very appropriate.

I put it on mine.

We put that wording on ours and I think it will be fine. It common as others have said, and if you don't want people bringing a whole bunch of extra people.

It really that unusual. Especially since people now can't figure out that if the invite is addressed to you and your spouse you don't include an additional 2 people. I put it on ours even though I don't think my family will add extras.

We added a line for total guests attending. I think that idea is fine!

My cousin took the time to handwrite on the RSVP

Will Attend Will not Attend Beef Chicken Vegetarian

John Smith _______ _______ ____ ______ ______

Mary Smith _______ _______ ____ ______ ______

She wanted to make the point, politely, that invites were not transferable. She still got people adding names. She had to call them up and say politely the invite was only for John and Mary, we hope to see you there.

I'm doing that because we're not inviting kids. I'm going to put _ out of _ attending because we're giving plus ones to people I'm pretty sure won't be bringing them/couples from out of state who already mentioned only one spouse will be attending and I'd rather know specifically if one or two people are coming so I can make sure to seat the one person with friends if their SO won't be there

Thank you everyone that truly helps! I have a little bit before I send out invites. I know my mom thinks its a wonderful idea. Our venue sits 220 upstairs (in a barn) and the overflow needs to go downstairs, which we really do not want. So we are trying to keep it at 220 or less.

I also am doing a wedding website which doesn't allow for extras unless I add them!

Thanks again everyone!

I did it for ours because one, children are not invited, two FH's family tends to self invite other people. I am hoping they see that the number of people invited is clearly stated!!!