OMG!!! I get married in 1 month! August 17th! I know that doesn’t exactly match up with the November 9th date on my profile, but life happens and we have to adjust right? I usually don’t post much but I just have to get it out and this is the only place I can really do that right now.
We found out back in March that FMIL had been diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer. Anyone who knows anything about that specific cancer knows that even being caught at stage 1, the odd are dismal. We thought we caught it early, as she had been in for a screening at the end of January as followup for the gallbladder cancer she had beat a couple years prior. FH and I had talked about doing a small family ceremony before our big November wedding if things didn’t improve so we could be sure his mom could be there to see her baby boy get married but didn’t discuss it with anyone. It was just a contingency plan we didn’t think we would actually have to use. Fast forward a couple months of chemo and we learn it hasn’t helped, the cancer has continued to progress, oh, and she’s been at stage 4 all along despite FIL’s leading all 3 kids to believe it was stage 2 at worst.
So now, I have a month to pull this together. FFIL couldn’t believe we would think to do something like this, he just keeps saying that he could have had a year to plan and still would have never thought to do this. FMIL was thrilled too, but made us promise we would carry on with the November celebration no matter what. We have decided to do it at FIL’s house to make it easier on FMIL should she not be feeling so well that day. It’ll be 25 people max, immediate family plus 2 of FMIL’s siblings and 1 of FFIL’s sisters. Catering has been taken care of, cake is done, FH has what he is wearing, I have ordered some sola flowers to decorate and for my bouquet, I scheduled my HMUA trial for that morning, I have to figure out speakers for inside/outside and put together a playlist for the ceremony and “reception”, table and chair rentals have been figured out, I still need to find a dress (we all agreed that I would save my dress for November)… what am I forgetting? I know I should know what all needs to be done since I have most of the planning done for November, but I just can’t seem to think straight. We are keeping everything quiet and not announcing it to anyone, and the rest of the 175 guests in November will not be aware we are already married. Everything will continue as planned, minus the signing of the marriage license. We have also agreed to celebrate our anniversary on November 9th, like we originally planned as well. I know we run the risk of making some people mad that they weren’t invited to or told about our August ceremony if they were to ever find out, but it’s a risk we have decided to take. We are also hoping that if anyone did find out, they would be understanding of the situation and why we chose to do what we did.
I am so happy we have the opportunity to do this for FMIL but my heart breaks knowing we have to (I think that’s one of the reasons I have been dragging my feet on finding/deciding on a dress). I hit the jackpot with FH’s family. His sisters are AMAZING, his dad loves me to pieces, and his mom is one of the kindest, sweetest people I have ever met. The other night FH’s middle sister (who has moved home from FL to help) had her writing out things like “love” and hearts and stuff so they could all get tattoos to remember her by. She wrote “love xxxx” and said “1 x for each of my kids”. When FSIL reminded her she only has 3 kids (she was way out if it at this point, trying to wean her off psychotropics) she replied “one for Melissa, one for Erica, one for Nick, and one for Kris”… I almost lost it when FSIL told me. FMIL has a son-in-law too but he’s a nasty person and no one likes him so for FMIL to include me meant so much. We are going over at least once a week (they live an hour away so getting down during the week is difficult) and last week she was like her old self again, like to the point we almost forgot she was sick for a minute.
Sorry for the long post, I was just hit with so many emotions on both sides of the spectrum today that I just had to get it out. FH is dealing with his own emotions and I know you ladies have a better understanding of the stress that comes with wedding planning. Thanks for reading. Love you all, beautiful ladies!
