Letting Guests Pay at the Engagement Party or Not?

Please ignore the advice of the one poster who said there's no problem with having your friends pick up the tab for dinner and drinks at your party because they're supposed to be coming to celebrate with you, not for a free meal. Take that idea to it's logical conclusion and you can justify billing your guests for the food they'll be eating at your wedding. After all, they're supposed to be coming to celebrate you, not for a free meal.

Everything Centerpiece said is true. I know this from experience because I attended a wedding two years ago where the guests had to pay for their own dinner. We still talk amongst ourselves sometimes about it.

The difference was that it was the actual wedding and not an engagement party. We kept our mouths shut and attended anyway because the bride and groom are important to us and it was their wedding day. If it had been an engagement party that they threw for themselves and expected us to pay for, we probably would not have gone.

Have a bbq but do not call it an engagement party. All engagement parties are is the ability to have everyone meet each other.

Engagement parties don't have to be fancy. Mine was thrown by FMIL and FFIL in their backyard. They rented a tent and we had bbq and Italian.

My FHs grandmother threw us one at a restaurant as having one is tradition in their family. I am the only person I know who had one and honestly would have been cool with it if we didn't have one. You don't need to have one, but if you chose to host one, then you have to do what everyone else said and host it. If you can't afford to host, then don't have one. Also, don't ask anyone to throw one for you if you decide you can't afford to host as that's just as rude as asking people to pay for themselves at the party.

Engagement parties don't have to be super fancy. My cousin has a BBQ but it was for our immediate family. Please don't make your guests pay because the hosts can't afford it.

I'm just here for the memes

The other ladies have covered it.

Just no. You don't need to have an engagement party, and if you do, you don't make your guests pay for it. (And if they do, you're not 'hosting' it....)

And sorry, "etiquette" isn't an optional thing in most cases. Even though OBB seems to think so.

I agree with the other comments. No need to have an engagement party. It's an extra expense you don't need. Instead save that money for your wedding. I didn't have one, I won't have a bridal shower/bachelorette party. All my choice. I'd rather put all my time and energy on a beautiful wedding. Also, I don't want my friends and family to spend extra money, if they don't have to. IMO.

I didn't think people hosted their own engagement parties.. but if you do, definitely don't make guests pay! It's really tacky. Engagement parties are not mandatory, I didn't have one! Ps- Date twin!

.

I didn't have an engagement party, and I don't have any regrets so far.

What the other ladies have said. (Especially Centerpiece. She keeps nailing it.) I appreciate that you came here looking for guidance, MrsRogersToBe. Hope we've clarified for you. Best of luck!

You have 2 years FFS.

I can't anymore.

If you're hosting, then you have to pay. If you're worried about costs, just host it at someone's house and do like a pot luck. Have everyone bring a dish

Nope nope nopity nope.

.

No engagement party is needed. People probably wont' get you gifts. I mostly got bottles of wine, so you're going to be out a lot of money if you do feed your guests. I had one mostly since the majority of my family had not met my fiance since he had been attending school in NC- it was nice and was also combined with my sister's birthday lol.

If you want to do something like this, shoot a text out to 20 of your friends and ask if anyone wants to meet for drinks this Friday, and bring up nothing about it being for an engagement.

Nope if you are planning on hosting one you should pay for their meals. If money is an issue then ditch the restaurant idea or skip it all together.

Skip the engagement party