J
Dedicated August 2021

Letting Go of Original Date

Jillian, on May 28, 2020 at 9:19 AM

Posted in Community Conversations 30

Any brides who postponed having a hard time with accepting their new date? And grieving their original one? I felt okay about it for awhile, but the closer we get to our original date, the sadder I feel. My FH does not want to do a micro-wedding this summer (he has a small, spread-out family. Many...

Any brides who postponed having a hard time with accepting their new date? And grieving their original one?

I felt okay about it for awhile, but the closer we get to our original date, the sadder I feel. My FH does not want to do a micro-wedding this summer (he has a small, spread-out family. Many of them are high-risk and they haven't gotten together for a happy occasion in over ten years. So he wants the big party with all of them there to be our actual wedding, which I totally understand). I've always wanted to get married in July. It's my favorite month and we met in July, and 15 months ago when we booked July 18, 2020, everything seemed so perfect.

When we made the difficult decision to postpone, our venue didn't have any dates until August 2021. It didn't seem financially worth it to try and find a new venue with July dates. After all, it's only a couple weeks' difference.

But letting go of the dream, and the fact that I thought we'd be married in just over 50 days instead of 400+...that's really hard.

I'm sure lots of you are feeling this way and perhaps this has been talked about ad nauseam in these forums. And I do feel lucky that we found a new date, that all our vendors were available, and we are less likely to be putting anyone at risk to have the wedding we planned (hopefully next summer is better). I just needed to vent a bit to people who understand. Thanks for listening!

30 Comments

  • J
    Dedicated August 2021
    Jillian ·
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    Thanks for the sympathy, Melle. I appreciate it so much. I feel like a lot of my married friends say things like, "Oh, a wedding isn't that important. It's just one day in your life. You'll see." And maybe that's true, but I'd like to find out for myself!

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  • J
    Dedicated August 2021
    Jillian ·
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    We'd like to do something special but hadn't thought of anything specific yet. I love all your ideas!! Thank you for sharing.

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  • J
    Dedicated August 2021
    Jillian ·
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    I'm sorry, Fatima. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. We're all in this together!

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  • Suzie
    Super October 2021
    Suzie ·
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    I feel you, girl. We just made the decision to postpone our October 11th date to October of next year, and I’m just devastated. I’ve been crying all day. My fiancé still wants to get married this year, but I’m on the fence. I was to be married to him, but I feel like it takes away from the magic of the day if we’re doing a renewal one year later. Def grieving this. On another note, I also work at a college, our date was around mid semester break, and I even got approved to take two weeks off... such a bummer.
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  • Suzie
    Super October 2021
    Suzie ·
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    Whoops, that should say “I want to be married to him,” darn phone!
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  • Amanda
    VIP December 2020
    Amanda ·
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    We were originally getting married in June 27th 2020 and postponed to December 12th 2020. It's a bummer knowing we would be so close right now but, we were both glad we made the decision to postpone. We are looking forward to our beautiful winter wedding and hopefully all of this will have blown over well before our big day. Keeping all of my fellow Covid Couples in my thoughts, we are truly in a situation no one has been in before and hopefully no one will experience ever again.

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  • J
    Dedicated August 2021
    Jillian ·
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    My heart goes out to you, Suzie. I also cried for a while, and still do from time to time. It hurts. You will both work out what works best for you. I completely understand what you mean by "the magic of the day." There is something very special about starting off the day not married and then ending the day married, surrounded by your friends and family. Good luck to you!

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  • J
    Dedicated August 2021
    Jillian ·
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    There is definitely a relief that comes with postponement, as hard as it is. It's nice to see you maintaining such positivity. A December wedding sounds beautiful. I do think about the legacy of "Covid Couples" and how this will be an interesting story to tell, one day, when we're through it.

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  • Shelly
    Beginner June 2021
    Shelly ·
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    I feel this 100%. My wedding has been moved twice now. We got engaged June 8, 2019 and were originally going to get married in Vegas on October 9, 2020 with a big party as the reception at home in CT. We wanted to keep it simple (or so we thought) as having a regular wedding would have been difficult due to my FH's family being so huge. We changed it at the beginning of this year (before all this Covid crap started) as we had so many people against us and me and my FH couldn't decide on where to get married in Vegas. It just wasn't meant to be. Super Bowl weekend we toured one of the only places I would get married in CT and I fell in love with it. We narrowed down the wedding from close to 200 to 50 people and my father offered to pay for the whole thing. The venue was booked solid for this October and next October and we wanted October as we've been together since October 9, 2012. Without having October as an option we decided on July 25, 2020 as it was the last Saturday where we could get a special discount since it was so close. We had our wedding 3/4 of the way planned and all of this craziness came and now we have made the decision to move our wedding to June 19, 2021. If we have to move again next year I honestly have no clue what I will do!! I am so beyond heartbroken and have Save-the-Dates and invitations that say July 25, 2020. Now everything has been changed yet again and I don't want July 25, 2020 to not mean something. I am trying to come up with ideas on what we could do to celebrate but my FH is not keen on getting married that day. He wants to just have our entire wedding on one day and that's it. Our venue offered to do something small so I'm going to quote them and see but if the FH doesn't want to do it then hopefully I can do something with my girls.

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  • J
    Dedicated August 2021
    Jillian ·
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    I'm so sorry you're going through this too, Shelly. It sounds like you've had quite a journey! I hope you and your fiance find a beautiful way to celebrate your love on July 25, whether it's a small wedding or otherwise.

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