Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Left out?!

Flag
Hide content

Lia, on June 24, 2021 at 3:27 AM

So my boyfriend and I have been couple friends with this couple that lives across the street. We have only ever known them as a couple and only ever have hung out as a group of 4. We are super close and they are getting married in a few months. We were invited to the wedding both as guests and we were super excited!! It was our first wedding we got to go to as a couple and we were excited to celebrate our friends. A few months later my boyfriend got asked to be a groomsman and I was super happy at first but then they started to rub it in my face about all the things they were gonna get to do together and leave me out of. I just feel super hurt and don’t know what to do anymore, we’ve tried having conversations and all of taken from it is that I should suck it up because it’s their day. I’ve never asked to be a bridesmaid and that’s not what I want! I just want my feelings to be understood and respected. Am I asking for too much?

Show all

40 Comments

Champion December 2022
Michelle · on June 25, 2021 at 2:43 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment

I always think this when people say “so and so will be hurt if they aren’t a bridesmaid because being a guest isn’t a good enough honor for anyone because they all need jobs”. Based on what exactly?
Hopefully the OP comes back to explain what specifically she feels they are isolating her from?
- Reply
Expert August 2021
Katie · on June 25, 2021 at 2:45 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Yea that is very disrespectful as some have mentioned. I'd talk to your boyfriend and mention how you feel to him. Tell him that you are happy he is in their wedding but when they make rude comments saying we are going to have so much fun and you can't come that it hurt your feelings. I'd tell him that he should be sticking up for you in these situations. I'd expect my fiance to stick up for me at least for him to say something like "hey that comment is uncalled for". I'd also have a conversation with the friends about how rude and hurtful their comments are.
- Reply
Super July 2020
Cool · on June 25, 2021 at 3:15 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
So I think we would all have to know the tone and context to really be able to speak to whether this is cruel or not. If they’re chatting about something and you ask if you’re invited and they say - hey you can’t come - is much different than talking about how fun it’s going to be and going out of their way to say - hahah too tan you can’t come though! In a taunting way.
- Reply
Expert October 2017
Florida Marlins · on June 25, 2021 at 4:55 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment

I think the OP has some legit social anxiety, perhaps lacking social skills and is very sensitive to things. I hope she gets help - this could be difficult way to go through life!
- Reply
Expert October 2017
Florida Marlins · on June 25, 2021 at 7:27 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment

I wonder why people think attendants are there to "do a job." No, it is my job to show up sober, on time, and properly dressed. That is IT, lol.
- Reply
Lia · on June 25, 2021 at 9:45 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
I find this quite a rude comment. I do have anxiety and something I deal with quite well if I do say so myself! I don’t believe this is an issue on anxiety but rather of being hurt by my friends
- Reply
Lia · on June 25, 2021 at 9:47 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
I wanted to reply and say that we aren’t those attached at the hip couples lol. We absolutely do things separately but we have one specific group of couple friends we hang out with almost every weekend. This doesn’t mean we don’t have separate identities.
- Reply
Lia · on June 25, 2021 at 9:48 PM
Flag

Hide content
I wanted to say I haven’t been saying much because I just realized being upset wasnt worth my time. I’m gonna be a hot lady at the wedding and that’s that
- Reply
Expert August 2021
Katie · on June 26, 2021 at 5:57 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
I agree I hate when people try and use a persons mental health to dismiss their own or others crappy behavior.
- Reply
VIP January 2020
Vicky · on June 27, 2021 at 8:01 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment

"rub it in my face" is not synonymous with teasing.
- Reply
VIP January 2020
Vicky · on June 27, 2021 at 8:02 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment

But how are you being hurt? It's not clear.
- Reply
Master January 2022
SLY · on June 28, 2021 at 7:49 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment

I gotcha! That's good that you both know how to do things on your own without the other, but it's important to remember that they probably aren't meaning to make you feel excluded, rather they're just excited for future plans and want to discuss it.
- Reply
Super July 2020
Cool · on June 28, 2021 at 9:03 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Gonna be the “hot lady” at the wedding… you’re being very petty and clearly are still not okay with this. Good for you if you actually are “hot” but hate to break it to you people will still being paying more attention the bride and bridal party. It sounds like you have a bit of maturing to do.
- Reply
Lia · on June 28, 2021 at 11:08 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Did I say I want people to pay more attention to me? I want to look good and feel good. Sucks you need to bring others down. I was put in a horrible situation and turned it around for myself!
- Reply
Super July 2020
Cool · on June 28, 2021 at 11:10 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
I definitely don’t feel the need to bring others down and you misinterpreted. I think it’s good to have a positive outlook but also recognize our own missteps. It doesn’t sound like a “horrible situation” that you were put in. But that’s my interpretation and opinion since you posted it to a public forum. I hope you genuinely can be happy for them all and enjoy yourself. Truly.
- Reply
Lia · on June 28, 2021 at 2:11 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
100% I’m all for owning your mistakes. But I can also say I want to look hot at my friends wedding! Doesn’t mean I want people to pay more attention to me than the bride. Doesn’t make me petty or anything. There’s just nothing wrong with me wanting to look good and feel good. I believe when your best friends taunt you it is a horrible situation. I turned this around and I’m feeling great. I believe you did go out of your way to make me feel down in a situation that was already poop.
- Reply
VIP October 2022
Samantha · on June 28, 2021 at 2:28 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
You deserve better than to have friends who taunt you!
- Reply
Expert August 2021
Katie · on June 28, 2021 at 3:59 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
If they are clearly taunting you then your feelings are valid and not petty at all. You aren't looking to steal the spot light from the bride and groom, you just simply want to be respected. And I think anyone in that situation would feel the same way.
- Reply
Lia · on June 28, 2021 at 5:07 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Thank you!! This is what I mean! I realized that nothing was going to change out of the situation until I changed myself. So I decided that I was gonna go to the wedding feeling myself and not worry about how my feelings were hurt.
- Reply

Devoted September 2020
I_Do_Too · on July 1, 2021 at 10:44 PM
Flag

Hide content
Understandable to be hurt but Yes you’re asking for too much.
- Reply