Late Guests- How to Deal

We went to a wedding that said "3:30 PM ceremony" so we arrived around 3:15 PM. Unknown to us, the ceremony was going to start at 4, they just planned to tell people 3:30 so people wouldn't arrive late. I was SUPER annoyed.

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Of course!! I hope your day is perfect!

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I hear that... that does sound frustrating.

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I think starting 5-10 minutes late is fine. You can also put on your website & even on a details card, "The ceremony will start promptly at 5:00 PM" or something!

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That is true!!! I will do that. Thank you so much, FutureMrsD, you're always helpful on this platform!

I agree with everyone here - keep the ceremony time truthful but let people know that it's a hard start time. I went to a coworker's wedding where her family was notoriously late and there were literally people walking down the aisle after her because they were just arriving. We put on our website that if you think you're even going to be five minutes late, just show up to the reception, we'd still love to see you but don't come to the ceremony late!

A handle full of people missed the ceremony due to tardiness. To be honest, we didn't even notice until we got the pictures back and noticed empty chairs. We also knew that it was likely to happen because we had a Friday wedding in the summer near the beach so there's always a lot of traffic from all of the people heading to the beach for the weekend. One of the venue staff members kept the doors closed so that no one could enter the ceremony after it began so there weren't any disruptions. In your case, I'd put 5:45 as the start time, if guests miss it, they miss it, you won't even care because you'll be too focused on your fiance.

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Hey Emily, yeah there seems to be a pretty consistent idea of what is an acceptable waiting time, and I recognize that now. I wouldn't want my guests literally dragging their feet, waiting for the ceremony to begin, but at the same time I don't want anyone being late for the wedding. Especially since my wedding is on a Saturday.. why should anyone be late for a Saturday wedding, ya know? Thank you so much for your insight

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Brittany, I totally get where you're coming from. Yeah your logistics are slightly different from mine since you had a Friday wedding near a beach, and I'm having a Saturday evening wedding in a banquet hall. But still, omg so rude for people to show up late though. Thank you for your input, really appreciate it

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Same! This happened at the last wedding I went to and it wasn't fun for me. Put the actual time and just talk to people. Worst case your coordinator can start the wedding a little later like 6:05pm.

Good thread, I was curious about this too. I was thinking of starting the ceremony 10-15 min after the invitation start time

I have a few friends/family like that as well, one in particular that stands out. I might change her invite to 15/30 minutes before just to make sure she's there on time. Maybe do that with a few of the guests that are notoriously late?

We are starting 15 mins later than the time listed. This is for a few reasons, a) we listed the ceremony as an hour but it will be closer to 35 mins long, and b) the cocktail hour & apps doesn’t start & will be be served until noon - when our DJ realized that the ceremony wasn’t religious & was on the same site - he recommended that we push back the ceremony start time bc ppl tend to notice more if there is a lag between the ceremony & cocktail rather than if the ceremony starts a little late.

I would be super annoyed if I showed up at 5:15 for a 5:30 wedding and it didn't actually start until 6. You're just punishing all the people who are courteous and DO show up on time. I would put 6 on your invites and start as close to on time as possible. If people miss it, they're the jerks, not you.

My vendor allows guests to start coming in 15 mins. prior to the ceremony starting. On the invitations I did not put the actual start time but the time that the doors open. I figured this way if people are actually running late they still have time to make it. But I agree with others I wouldn't put 30 mins earlier than the start time.

My FH's family is notoriously late as well. We are putting the start time on the invites. And (his words not mine) if they care (obviously barring some crazy act of nature), they will be on time... if they aren't they can stand in the back or miss it. Not our problem, they are all adults!

I wouldn't punish those who show on time for those who may be late.

Thank you all kindly for your eye-opening comments and suggestions. A good question for me would be to ask, why can't people just be on time? LMAO! Thank you all again

At my sisters wedding, her husbands family showed up while the bridesmaids were walking down the aisle. They were very loud and interrupted the entire ceremony. I would suggest, as someone did before, locking the doors at a certain point and not letting guests in after that time. I would give a fifteen minute window for guests to show up late, but lock the doors after that time!