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Just Said Yes October 2018

Last minute rsvp days before my wedding

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Courtney , on October 2, 2018 at 4:53 PM

It’s 3 weeks since the due date of save the dates. I gave my finals headcount to the caterers and paid the amount. I also already made up the seating chart. Someone emailed me today RSVPing. If I decide to let them come then I will have to rearrange the seating chart for the 4th time, and pay an...

It’s 3 weeks since the due date of save the dates. I gave my finals headcount to the caterers and paid the amount. I also already made up the seating chart.

Someone emailed me today RSVPing. If I decide to let them come then I will have to rearrange the seating chart for the 4th time, and pay an extra fee.

Am I a jerk If I tell them “I’m sorry but it’s too late?”

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25 Comments

Dedicated December 2019
Marah · on October 3, 2018 at 4:21 AM
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Depending who it is

if its your flaky first cousin then no
if it’s a friend that just plan forgot because life happens then yes but it really depends
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Champion November 2016
LB · on October 3, 2018 at 7:40 AM
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I would (and did with one couple) allow them to come. Life is messy, things happen. You invited these people so I assume you want them there in the long run...
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Master October 2018
MrsV1027 · on October 3, 2018 at 10:21 AM
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Why do you assume she didn't follow up?
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Expert October 2018
Meesh · on October 3, 2018 at 1:10 PM
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That is the perfect answer! RSVP-by dates are put on our invites for a reason! The only exception may be if they contacted you first to give you a heads up that they might now know for certain until closer to the date, just so you'd be aware in advance. Otherwise, I'd say no (unless they REALLY mean a lot to you and their presence would be missed a lot).
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Super October 2018
Mrs. Cohen · on October 3, 2018 at 4:12 PM
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100% I would tell them it's too late. The deadline is there for a reason and the fact they're RSVPing 3 weeks after the deadline is just rude and disrespectful of them, in my opinion.
I'd be polite about it and say something along the lines of, "We are so happy that you're able to celebrate this day with us, however, since the RSVP deadline was several weeks ago, we already gave our final guest count to the caterer and paid for each guest at that time and unfortunately it would be too late to add any additional guests. We hope we can celebrate with you after the wedding!"
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