Last-minute invites for new friends?

This AM when she was asking me about my RD outfit an older guy in the weight room made a joke about his invitation being lost in the mail (he was 100% kidding, I'm friendly with the "early morning crew" at my gym and a lot of them have kids who were recently married), and she said that she would be his plus one since she wishes she could see the wedding in person instead of just photos. I don't think she wasn't fishing for an invite AT ALL, but it made me realize that maybe it wouldn't have been weird to invite them in the first place, and that I was just overthinking it. So...would it be rude to invite them, given that I'd really like to better my friendship with them and do enjoy their company? Or is it way too close to the wedding to be polite, and should I let it be? Adding them would still be very easy, but I don't want to harm these new friendships by being rude. No idea if last-minute stuff is clouding my judgment here.

Thanks in advance, ladies!

I don't know what proper etiquette is on this, but I'll tell you that we did this. I felt bad and it was slightly awkward, but FH and I were completely honest. I worded it something along the lines of, "When drafted the guest list we didn't even know you guys yet, but we feel that we've all become very close, and we'd love to have you at the wedding if you're able to make it"

I like the way Kaylie worded it. I think it is fine to invite them but be sure to express it is because you didn't know them when you originally made the guest list.

I did something very similar to Kaylie. I started a new job one year before our wedding, and by then, the guest list was pretty firm. I made three good friends at my new job, and sent them each a personalized invitation which included a note on the back of the RSVP card as to why I wanted them to join us on our wedding day. They only got the invites about 4 weeks before the wedding. Yes, they know they were not included on the original guest list, but they all completely understand why.

DH invited a couple about a month before our wedding. When he asked them I know he said something similar to what Kaylie said. Given that the friendship is new I think they will understand and not think it's B list or rude. Our couple came and had a great time.

I think if you're truly honest the way that Kaylie worded it, I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I'm sure they'll just be honored for you to be considering them.

Thanks for the input, everyone. My wedding is about 2 weeks away so I feel extra weird about it, but I really would like them there. They'd have until Memorial Day to let me know, since our numbers are due that Tuesday...I'd just get escort cards made for them, and there's fortunately a table that's on the small side that they could easily be added onto.

Kaylie, how did you go about asking your friends? In person/phone call/text/email? I'm inclined to do it in person but I also don't want to put them on the spot so I wonder if a text or email gives them a little more time to digest. I'd also give them an invite in person, but I definitely don't have time to mail them out...

I say go for it Kaylie gave good advice.

Even let them know that since it is such short notice, they don't need to feel pressured to attend, but you'd be very happy to have them there

I texted, which I know seems like "taking the easy way out" but I felt the same as you OP, I didn't want to put them on the spot. I figured if I texted, they could talk about it a little before they answer me. I'm also better at writing things than speaking so I liked that I could think more carefully about what I was saying and make sure it came across as nice as possible and not sounding offensive.

This is a situation I think people understand. If you try to B List your cousin you've known your entire lives, of course they will be offended, but if I were on the receiving end of a late invitation like this, I would completely understand and be honored that the person felt that we had become close enough to warrant an invitation.

ETA: Kristy made a good point as well, I apologized for the late notice and said I understood if they had plans and couldn't attend, but I would really like them there if possible.

I actually just found the exact message I sent:

"Hey! So I feel so awkward doing this because it's totally poor etiquette. But Jay and I would really love to invite you and Brian to the wedding. I feel horrible about doing it late and unofficially but obviously when we made the guest list we didn't even actually know you guys yet haha. We both really enjoy spending time with you guys and I think it would be really great to have you there. I understand if you can't because of the short notice. I know you mentioned you have to work some weekends now. But if you can make it we would love to have you guys! May 21!"

I actually invited a coworker about 2 weeks before my wedding. She had started working with me after invitations had been sent out, otherwise she would have been invited with the rest of the guests. If they can come, great! If not? No big deal. They'd love the opportunity to be there I'm sure.

Thanks again, everyone! Kaylie, I'm probably going to steal your wording verbatim cause it's perfect.

I keep thinking to myself that if the situation were reversed I'd be flattered, but I also feel like I'm in the third grade again and asking people to come to my birthday party haha!

So I had a similar situation and I got invited. So a former classmate of ours got engaged the month before us. We weren't close in school, but we (me & the bride) were on an executive board together for about 5 months. After their proposal I congratulated them both on social media. Well the next month we get engaged. Fast forward a few months, and she post her wedding website. We'll we had the exact same website layout. So I messaged her joking "great minds think alike," with a screen shot of our website. We started talking about wedding planning and she mentioned she was hoping for a small wedding (so I didn't think I'd be invited even later when we got closer). That night we talked for over 4 hours. Then we met up for lunch, had a blast talking weddings & catching up. Then we went out for cinco de mayo. Then she invited me to their engagement party. We started to communicate regularly. Next thing I knew she sent us an invite. At first I was hestiant to RSVP bc I knew she wanted to keep it small, until she mentioned how happy she was our friendship has grown and she wished we had become friends in school. I agreed, locally she's def in the top 3 women I'm closest to now. So I attended the wedding (FH did not). And she & her husband are invited to our wedding. I said all that to say I'd invite them. I wouldn't feel B listed if I was them (I was in their shoes obvi) and sometimes this is a great way to take a friendship to a closer level.

ETA: their

If you have room and want them to go, invite them. Sounds like they want to go.

I think that is totally fine! At school, my major is tiny. I have a this really nice elderlt professor that I've had a class from for almost two years and I really liked him before. This semester, I became his RA but I didn't invite him because I wasn't sure if that was appropriate. Anyways, he started to always ask me about the wedding and I actually gave him an invitation yesterday. I just explained a little about it and he seemed really excited. Since you have the room, I think it is a great idea!

I don't think it's weird. They clearly weren't b listed the friendship just wasn't at that point yet.

I think it's fine, but I would hand deliver them an invitation. Address it with their names. Don't just send them a text. They'll know why they didn't get invited in the first place, but actually handing them an invitation will confirm they were not a second thought.

We were in the situation your gym buddies are.

Invite them by all means, but PLEASE do not text them. We thought it was kinda rude being so impersonal. Either ask them in person, or give them an actual invite!

I did the same thing with a new work friend. She was totally excited to attend and it worked out fine.

So update: I texted them yesterday and it sounds like they'll both be coming! They were both very sweet and understanding of the situation. I'm working out with them tomorrow AM, so I'll give them real invites tomorrow.

@MrsMeyersToBe I totally get where you're coming from, I think texting is way overused in today's world. But I knew I wouldn't see them until this weekend, and since we're 2 weeks away time is of the essence. I will definitely be reiterating the invite in person, though!