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Jai
VIP May 2020

Lack of family support

Jai, on May 8, 2020 at 8:58 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 25
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So my FH and I were supposed to get married tomorrow. Because of the pandemic we decided to push it to next saturday 5/16 & have a small ceremony with 10 people and reception; the ceremony will be officiated by an ordained minister at her outdoor garden that she specifically has for weddings, vow renewals, baby blessings etc. The reception at our apartment. We texted family to let them know what we are doing and my FH texted back "wish you the best of luck, it would have been nice if you had waited so we could be there " and his grandpa texted back "wow I'm shocked, thought you would have waited until restrictions are lifted".



This is the wedding that we want; simple and budget friendly. It makes us happy. It is frustrating that family cant be happy for us.

25 Comments

Latest activity by Jai, on May 9, 2020 at 10:29 AM
  • Jai
    VIP May 2020
    Jai ·
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    *FH aunt texted back
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  • Courtney
    Expert July 2020
    Courtney ·
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    I'm sorry that people aren't being supportive. Were they all originally invited and then you two uninvited them? If so , I could see why their feelings would be hurt but that's still no way to respond! I feel like the virus has made a lot of us feel what's really important for a wedding day, and who really matters. It also shows who's really there for you! Don't let that bug you though. As long as you and your FH are happy that day then that's all that matters! If you feel bad about it, maybe set up a Zoom for ceremony for those that have to miss it
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  • Jai
    VIP May 2020
    Jai ·
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    They were invited before Covid19. We didnt uninvite them, its just that we didnt wanna cancel our wedding and had to choose immediate family & friends as our 10people. Those 2 family members are older and have health issues so they couldn't attend next Saturday. And I'm starting to see who really supports us and who Is there for us. The virus has been eye opening in that way!
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  • Nefetera
    VIP March 2015
    Nefetera ·
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    Sorry ppl aren't supporting you during this time which already a very diffcuilt time overall all. Regaurdless whoever shows you guys will make your big day SPECIAL
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  • Jai
    VIP May 2020
    Jai ·
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    Thanks girl! I'm just grateful we are healthy and happy and able to get married
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  • Natalie
    Super November 2020
    Natalie ·
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    I wouldn’t take this as a sign that they aren’t supporting you. If anything, I think they are just surprised and likely assumed that your ideal wedding was the one you had originally planned. Also, it sounds like they had been looking forward to celebrating with you, so the sudden change of plans is a bit disappointing to them as well. It’s a shame they didn’t respond a little more gracefully, especially since you are looking forward to the more intimate wedding!
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  • Vicky
    VIP January 2020
    Vicky ·
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    If they were invited before and they're not invited now, then you did uninvited them, and you did it by text message. You can't be too surprised that they weren't only happy at the news. It's rather cold to inform FH's aunt and grandfather that they're no longer invited to your wedding via text message.

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  • Jai
    VIP May 2020
    Jai ·
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    Natalie thank you! I can look at this from a different perspective. They were disappointed n did wanna celebrate with us! We wanted that too. Just didnt wanna postpone or cancel
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  • Jai
    VIP May 2020
    Jai ·
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    We didnt uninvite them. We chose to still get married amongst the restrictions. We live in NJ & there is no telling when things will change. It's not like I can go over their house n tell them directly. Their response is rather cold.
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  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    You could have called them.
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  • Jai
    VIP May 2020
    Jai ·
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    I did the right thing. Glad this forum is SUPPORTIVE
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  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    Just because you did what you and your FH believe is right doesn’t mean you didn’t hurt people in the process. I don’t know your family dynamics and it’s your business but for me personally I never would have chosen to get married without my grandparents being able to attend and if I had chosen that I would have understood that they would have been hurt by that decision.
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  • Jai
    VIP May 2020
    Jai ·
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    Okay well we are grown adults and this isnt about YOU and what YOU would have done. Thanks for your support once again
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  • V
    Rockstar July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    I think they are just hurt that they couldn't be there. My family would have felt the same way. What if you had someone video it and those who wanted could watch it via Zoom or something similar?
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  • Jai
    VIP May 2020
    Jai ·
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    That's what we are thinking, so they can still be apart of our big day!
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  • V
    Rockstar July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    I think if they hear that you are doing that maybe they will feel more included and therefore better support this decision.
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  • Jai
    VIP May 2020
    Jai ·
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    Thank you for your advice. I think that will be a safe alternative as well since they are older and have health problems
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  • V
    Rockstar July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    You're welcome! I honestly think that's the best compromise. They can still feel like they are a part of your day without risking your health and you can still have your wedding where and when you want it.
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  • Jai
    VIP May 2020
    Jai ·
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    It does sound like a good compromise! We didnt wanna postpone since we dont know when this virus will go away and getting married is a happy moment for us. And I just hope people can be understanding. We aren't letting this virus ruin our day
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  • V
    Rockstar July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    I totally understand. My husband and I got married last year, but we both agreed if we were in this situation we would have still gotten married when we had planned. This virus has definitely left things so up in the air.
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