Lack of elopements/out of the norm weddings

I just about have a heart attack watching what some brides pay for their wedding dress on SYTTD, so I felt like I was getting a deal at $400 for a great condition secondhand dress. My whole shibang comes in for less than a mid-range Hayley Paige gown so to some I'm going really budget. But, there is always a way to go a cheaper though...all the way down to "just the cost of the license and civil ceremony."

Different things are important to different folks, financial situations and the help offered by family ranges a lot too. It is ALWAYS sound advice to not go into debt so I second you on that! That level is different for everyone.

I also think there isn't uniformity in what people include in their budget that could make for a difference in the numbers reported. For example, one diamond eternity wedding band could really inflate an otherwise modest cost wedding. Some seem to not include that in their breakdown because it is something that lasts beyond the day and is more of an "investment."

Brides that prefer simpler weddings might generally have less of a need to visit and post to a wedding forum. Less advice on vendors and decor is needed if you're going pretty simple. That could be why you see less of it.

I apologize if my post came across as negative, as that was sincerely not my intent. I tried to choose my words carefully but evidently was not successful. It seems maybe I missed the spirit of your original post, so again I apologize, and also hope you have a great night.

View Quoted Comment Thanks for sharing your input without being disrespectful, Jessica. I'm looking forward to seeing pics of your mountain hike wedding. I used to live in Washington state and Ecuador and I absolutely love the mountains.

View Quoted Comment Yes, I see your point.

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Totally off topic but I've always wanted to go to Ecuador for vacation! Super lucky that you lived there. I haven't strayed too far from my Washington roots - I've only lived on the west coast.

We are mulling a potential move to Michigan (where my fiance grew up) or one of the Carolinas which will be totally different. Houses are cheaper there so we don't have to into debt at the level that is required for a western Washington house. There's also a lot to keep us here too though so the decision isn't final yet

I feel like the beautiful pictures of your cousin’s wedding could have been shared in a very positive/helpful way for all of the brides currently searching for elopement/minimony inspiration without the not so subtle digs at people “going into debt.” While I’m not going into debt for my wedding, everyone has different priorities in life and with the pandemic going on, we could all use less judgment/negativity.

View Quoted Comment This was very well put

I'm insulted that you think I was attacking you. And I'm offended that you think a lot of couples on this forumn are going into debt or are being superficial just because they have a different perspective and life experiences than you. I didn't say anything negative or disrespectful. I didn't say anything about you personally. There are other posters on thread that shared a similar perspective as I did. I always try to show different perspectives and respond neutrally and kind. I even commented that the pictures were nice because they are.


Please do not accuse others of being negative just because they don't agree with you. Your post comes off as offensive and I don't want anyone on this forum to feel that their wedding isn't good enough because of what they do and don't spend or what their values are. None of us know what anyone else's finances are like. Tons of comments on this forum state not to go into debt for a wedding. There is no harm in doing a search on the forums to find this information or spending time getting to know the vibe before making assumptions that can be really hurtful. I encourage you to spread love and positivity on this forum and beyond. ❤
I will not respond to you further. I wish you a lifetime of growth. Be blessed.

View Quoted Comment Thabk you for your positive comment.

View Quoted Comment Good for you with taking out 0 debt. I'm sure your wedding will be lovely no matter the anount of money you spend on it, big or small. I encourage you to make it represent you and your FS. Take care.

View Quoted Comment Yayy, kuddos to you and your FS for tag teaming with financial goals.

View Quoted Comment Thank you. Your cake photos in a different post made me have a sweet tooth 😋.

View Quoted Comment Thanks for your input. I've seen too many people start their marriage out in debt from a wedding. So, I'm making it a goal to put $0 on our credit cards. I agree with your definition of an elopement. Two people, witnesses and officiant.

View Quoted Comment You did NOT respond neutrally. I was appalled.

View Quoted Comment I used to live in north carolina. Hmm out of all my previous homes, I would say Washington is my favorite. North carolina was nice too, many great childhood memories there and it's affordable.

View Quoted Comment Right!!!! I was utterly taken back and couldn't stop laughing. People have different priorities.

View Quoted Comment Yes they do lol

Super cute! But not everyone is having big weddings right now. (I'm not going to post pics though because that's not my place).

-A friend had a courthouse elopement after their out-of-state wedding was cancelled. Thankfully our local courts were open and had an opening on their wedding day. They hope to have "I do, redo" next year on their anniversary.

-One of my cousins had a backyard wedding with just parents and siblings after their would be wedding plans were dashed. We all got to watch on Zoom and it was so sweet. They also hope to have something in place next summer for everyone.

I’ve always wanted to elope (even though I kind of wanted the typical bridal vibes that come with a traditional wedding). COVID ended up giving me both. Our original date was June 20th and due to restrictions in our state, we couldn’t have our big planned wedding we have scheduled. We also really didn’t want to change our date completely so we eloped on June 20th and held the big wedding on August 8th. Personally, I preferred the small elopement a lot more and wish I would have invited immediate family to that instead and cancelled the big wedding altogether, but there was already a lot of money and time invested so I pushed thru for the sake of my parents’ wallet and feelings (they really wanted to see me get walked down the aisle 🙄)


Anyways, here are some of my fav pics from our elopement!