Kids

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We think we have settled on a close venue to us its called Studio 324, they have lovely brick walls and can host the ceremony and also the reception, while giving us a bridal party room. Our runner up venue is smaller and can maybe host 50 max, they are on a state park and so may have restrictions on alcohol and the hours may be shortened, but they are closed for Covid and so we don't have all the specs just yet.

That is a lot of different scenarios I hadn't yet considered, I'm so glad I asked. Best to get all the sides now so we can consider our choices or start a new search.

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I will give my friends and non-close family heads up as well. I would love to include all but tough choices must be made.

Opting for no kids at all is probably easier than splitting up families with multiple children. If I had kids, I'd be more apt to go to a no kids wedding than go to a wedding where I need to find someone to watch my 8 year old for the weekend but my 12 year old can come. If people are traveling and you really want them there, making an exception for very young babies seems reasonable, but otherwise I think an all or none approach is probably going to be the least confusing.

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Being out of state is throwing us a curve ball too, I haven't yet brought it up to FH but maybe having the wedding in IL would be best instead of MN, everyone would be in the hour drive distance.

View Quoted Comment Yes, if your wedding would be within an hour of guests, then it’s vey acceptable to have a kid-free wedding! If a lot of guests have families it may just be easier for them to go to a local wedding anyway.


Note: infants are the exception (although we had a kid-free local reception and our friends with a 6-month old was excited to have date night out and left their little one with grandma but that was their choice).

You don’t have to say “free kid” or “adults only” on the invite, just address it to the people in the household you’re in inviting and put “We’re reserving 2 seats in your honor.”

The only kids we are having at the wedding are those that are in the bridal party and those are our nieces and nephews. We love kiddos but our wedding is not a daycare center...some nieces and nephews that are too little already have other babysitting arrangements and the parents are completely okay with that.

Ultimately it's your event, so do what you think is best. But, kids are typically an all-or-nothing topic. We're only having the kids that are in the ceremony at the reception (so 3, and their our direct nieces/nephew). All other children are not invited. So I guess we're doing something in the middle, but an age limit seems to be making things too complicated.

This is either all or nothing with a few exceptions like flower girls and page boys. Some guests won’t like it but they will have to respect it.

We are in a similar situation with most people coming from out of state, and we announced on our wedding website that there are "no kids allowed".. People were stoked 😂😂 the only kids allowed to come are breastfeeding infants. We went to a friend's wedding in London last year and it was a no kids event and it was so much more fun and relaxed. No screaming 😅 ..thats when we decided we would do the same.

We’re not inviting children, when we send out the invitations we are clarifying by writing the names of those invited and the # of guests that we have reserved a seat for and then will be including on our website that it’s “adults only”. We were very limited at how many people we can invite and were already at capacity.. and I should add that both of us have nieces that will be in our ceremony as flower girls and junior bridesmaids, so they will technically be the only children there.


I’m not sure what’s “correct” or “traditional” but essentially every wedding we’ve been too within our circle of friends and family has been child free so it won’t be anything new for most of our guests!

Maybe you could set up a baby sitter during the wedding. This way the people who are coming that are going to stay for a few days can bring their kids with them and then have a baby sitter watch them on your wedding day.

This is a very common dividing line, though most people state it by saying 6th grade or 7th grade or 8th, rather than the actual age. There was no one in our family with children 13.5 to 15.5. we were going to say 16 and up, but settled for in high school. Our ceremony was at 7:30 pm and at venue til 1 am. Formal, and adult appropriate. We also had a nursery room with a few rental cribs, and our family brought port a cribs. All babies in there during the ceremony and dinner. Parents walked 20 feet down the hall. We hired some progress nurses and day care people. 13 babies under 15 months. And 2 toddlers with special medical or language needs. It saved us 167 16 month to 15 yr old children of guests and family. Invited guests and wedding party came down to 190. It may mean some with 3-4 kids 2-8 stay home. But by the time babies are 1 year to 15 months, parents have had plenty of time to find or train some non-family babysitters. If not , they miss your wedding. But as B and G, you have no responsibility for childcare for those of an age to be in appropriate for your wedding. If you want all self sufficient with minimal supervision, all eating adult food choices, staying away from hazards and entertaining themselves or each other mostly by talking, listening, or dancing, or anything formal and evening, you are making a reasonable choice. I am a mother of 5, now 5 to 14. I would not be distressed if my older 2 could go and younger three, could not. Every aspect of society groups children by age for age appropriate and supervision provided reasons. My older three are left out of all birthday and neighborhood and town things suitable for our 5 yr old twins. Out 11 yr old is the only one who goes to some things. S outing, town summer dances, recreation department events year round, do preschool to 7, 8-11, 12-15, and high school only, at least. Or grade di isions. People who say you can never divide a family, need to look around. Do they send their 5 and 12 year olds to the high school dance the 16 year old? When they get $80 plus dinner tickets for a Knicks Celtics game, do they say everybody or nobody, and Daddy or Uncle must take all 3-4 kids, or none? Not in my experience. Huge sports areanas with liquor service are not appropriate for younger than teens except 1 adult per child. And only the little ones go to Disney on Ice, or Santa's village. So do not listen to " we never let one child go anywhere without the others". Anyone who really does not, needs more help than a babysitter.
** We included up to 15 months, because in the counties / municipal areas where our wedding was held, no child under 15 months may be left with a Non-family caretaker ( except their own pro nanny) in any hotel or motel room. And not with family teens under 16. Where a 10 year old may stay in the care of a 15 year old, checking in with someone every 2 hours. Local ordinance in a high tourist area.

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Thank you I appreciate the input greatly, FH and I are still on the fence on this are trying to finish up our list so that we can solidify our wishes and get to making the invitations.

Honestly it's not right to pick a chose who gets to bring their kids. And it doesn't matter their age when it comes to behavior, it matters how the parents parent their kids. You either got to be all kids or no kids. I don't think I'll be having kids at my wedding because I know people who have terrible children and I don't want to listen to them screaming and crying all night on my big day. I see it as I'm spending way to much money and time on my wedding for someones bratty kid who I know don't ever get disciplined to ruin it by throwing temper tantrums and misbehaving all night.

I don’t think that’s a bad idea. I mean most people probably would want to take that time to be kid friendly and find a weekend babysitter you never know. It’s not a bad idea to propose and maybe just plan for extras just in case 🙂

We are having an adult only wedding since it will be smaller and starting at 630 pm. I am simply putting “Although we love your little ones, this is an adult only affair.” I am allowing my 4 nieces and nephews for the ceremony and dinner and then they will be going back to the hotel