Kids

Kids are an all or none type of thing. Either invite all ages or none at all. Otherwise you come across as playing favorites.

At the last wedding I attended, it was no kids at all age. I left my baby home with dh for a couple hours, just to honor my friend’s wedding.


I think saying “adult only” is totally fine. If the invitation says “no kids”, it sounds somehow negative to me. All about wordings 😉
Unless you are okay with crying baby or kids throwing tantrum, which can happen any time, then you can invite babies.

My godparents had a “kids room” set up for their vow renewal. Their event was at a hotel and they literally reserved adjoining hotel rooms for the dozen plus kids to have their own space with a couple of hired babysitters to do games/activities with pizza and watch movies. Depending on your venue and budget, this could be an option for you.

I don't think you should have an age limit. i think it's kind of an all or nothing because you can't have families where they have different aged kids and only invite the kids of your age limit

Thank you all I think its time FH and I discuss this and settle on it.

It’s definitely a tricky thing, but we decided no kids. I’m a teacher and would be worrying about/watching the kids the entire time and not enjoy the wedding/reception.
I framed it for my friends with kids that it’s like a date night for them, which made it easier to communicate.

Im doing 21 and over. i dont even want 18 year olds there. i will specify on invitation adult only reception

If your wedding is truly in February of 2024, I'd wait another 2 1/2 years to make this kind of decision.

But, like PPs, having an age cut-off is likely to come across as rude, especially if it breaks up families (i.e. a family with an 8-year-old and a 13-year-old). Kids (barring family-only kid weddings) are usually all or nothing situations.

All or nothing! We’re doing no kids! If you can’t leave your kids, bring a babysitter and have them watch them in the hotel. Parents should have a break at weddings

I agree with the person who said that you shouldn't do an age cutoff, because asking someone to leave younger kids at home while they bring the older ones is annoying and might leave them without a babysitter. I think it's fine to have an "only kids who are (closely) related to us" rule, though, especially if you have an exemption for newborns. Either way, you shouldn't put "no kids" or "adults only" on the invitations. The only people who are invited are the ones whose names are on the envelope.

You are definitely not wrong at all. My wedding will be a total of 35 people and the only children who will be there are the ones who will participate in the wedding. I also feel bad however it’s not in my budget and it doesn’t mean I don’t love them it’s just I don’t want to go over the budget. However I will send them flowers and a gift and they will be invited to the newlywed brunch.

You are definitely not wrong as it's your event and you can set it up however you feel like. Just be prepared for some pushback. What venue are you having it at? For me I had it at a f/f field and just put up a huge tent off a lil ways with a bunch of child activities, hired a teacher as a babysitter and door dashed some happy meals, and had a few sleeping bags when they got tired. They basically "camped" while their parents got freedom and was a few steps away from the kid. My sister did the same but in a hotel renting a large room. We grew up banned to the kids room when there was a party so it pretty normal for us. As for the ages it would be tough leaving toddlers -elementary age, who dont get the concept of being w/o parent for more then a few hours let alone days if they are oot or why there teen sibling goes to the party but they cant. Also the whole family can but friends cant will confuse people. Then you get will the "kid is 11.5, so you let that slide, why you didnt let the 11 year old in, 10 year old ect"; "my child still breastfeeds, your child is almost 3, dont be judging!" " I have a better relationship with you than (family member) why cant I do it!" " now you know I cant affordchildcare that long, but we've been friends for so long I would love to go, cant you let em go to" ... see what I mean by pushback. My advice ,no kids(except infants who cant move or eat yet) or kids but put them in a different environment close by if you dont want to deal with it, or allow the kids.

I think you either have kids or you don't, I went to a rehearsal dinner and my cousin said no kids so I had to find a sitter for my children, turns out the grooms cousin was allowed to bring his 3 year old son and it urked so I say either no kids with the exception of infants or yes kids and include all

I agree with PPs, either all or nothing is the best way to go, or else there may be a lot of drama and people will be offended. Kids who are in the bridal party (flower girls and ring bearers) are the exception.

We will have about 36 guests and our venue only allows 40 including bride and groom so we had to make some tough decisions. We are allowing a few family kids (well there’s only really 3) plus my 9 year old and FH’s 17 year old twins (they are in the wedding). Friends’ kids are not invited. I actually gave our friends (3 families) a heads up and they were all totally fine with it. They expected it because they knew our venue had a tight maximum number. Had we not eliminated the friends’ kids we would have had to either not invite our friends or take 7 family members off the guest list. Neither were an option for us and our friends understand the reasoning and are supportive.

Im doing "no kids" mainly cause I don't want more than 50 guests and also cause it will cost me around $200 per person and I'm not paying over 3k for kids. I'm also doing a no plus one (unless you're married then your spouse can come). Just another way to keep the count around 50 or less.

Agree with others: kids are an all or none rule (except infants always allowed). Sadly, with so many out-of-state guests, you’re likely to get a huge decline rate unless you allow kids. I suggest allowing kids but cutting the total guests/families.

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I think you are right "no kids" does sound negative. I will be very careful in wording our invites.

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I love that, the date night comparison.

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We want February but we are recently talking about moving it up to late next year, winters can be tricky and the people driving in my be in danger they don't need to be in.