Kids leaving the reception??

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This.

Because a) the older kids might actually be better off at the reception with food, b) you'd absolutely HAVE to ask the older kids before saddling them with this, and c) you're still going to want to feed them, so an adult to supervise dinner would be best.

Don't ask the older kids to babysit the younger, and if anyone is invited to the ceremony they should be invited to the reception.

I see no issue with this. This is how it was when my sister and cousins attending family weddings. We were there for ceremony and family pictures. A babysitter would pick us up before dinner, get us some dinner and then home to wait for our parents to get home.


I would think 16 year olds would not sent back to the hotel as they are old enough to be able to enjoy the event.

Seems like extra hassle when what you’re really creating is a kid-free wedding. So skip the shuttles and have an adult event. I think it’s worse to tell someone “you’re invited to the ceremony but not the reception”.

I think you should have a kid free wedding then. Parents are not going to be happy to take a drive away from the reception with their kids and have someone elses teen babysit. Even with you providing the ride it still isn't something that will go over well. I had a friend who had a kid free reception, not even the kids in the wedding were allowed at the reception. And when she told her friends whose kids she wanted in the wedding her plan, all the parents said no, if the kids who are in the wedding aren't allowed at the reception then they won't be in the wedding to begin with. Why because it's a major inconvenience to the parents. My friend ended up allowing the kids in the wedding to attend the reception.

I think this will be tough to manage, especially if the hotel is more than like 1 minute away from the reception. I agree parents won’t want to take a 40 minute ride to drop kids off, & then you have underage kids alone in a shuttle. You may have parents who don’t like that arrangement (personally, I would never let my child be watched by someone I don't know who has not been trained or had background checks). You may have parents who decide day of to keep the kids with them at the reception. Or the older kids could bail last minute (I used to hate being asked to do this at family parties, but in those situations I could easily take a break since everyone was at the same location). Parents may also want to check on the kids, which won’t really be doable in this scenario.


As someone who used to work in childcare, I’m also used to thinking of worst case scenario: What’s the ratio of “babysitters” to kids (most states have laws around this for childcare professionals, & are good guidelines for non-professionals)? What happens if there’s an emergency—who will handle that & who will watch the non-impacted kids? Do any of the older kids know basic first aid? What happens if any medicines need to be administered? Are you covered for liability on the off chance something bad happens? Obviously, it's unlikely these situations would come up, but you need a plan for them in place, especially if you aren't going to hire professionals.

View Quoted Comment Agree with all this! Would it be legal? Would the hotel permit a large group of under 18 in a room unsupervised? What if an emergency happens? What if a child hurt themselves (hotels aren’t childproofed) or another child? What if they break something, who’s fault is that? Lots of liability risks with such an arrangement.


It’ll be best to hire someone so the teenagers can enjoy the reception too or have a children-free wedding if you do not want children all over the reception.

I myself am a mother, I was recently part of a wedding with no children allowed. I think its best to do no kids at all if you dont want kids present. That way the parents can enjoy the night and have arrangements already for their children. I have two kids myslef so I will be allowing kids at my wedding personally because I dont want some parents to feel offended some kids are there and not others.

Like many others said, you might be better off with a kid free wedding overall. Parents would be gone for the entire cocktail hour and also may not even be comfortable leaving their kids in a hotel room by themselves. I personal would just leave with my kids after the ceremony. If not I say hire a children entertainer for during the reception that way the children are entertained but parents can still check on them

View Quoted Comment Ah, thank you for this insight! I’m not a mother yet, so thank you! I’ll definitely take this into consideration

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much for this insight! Since I am not yet a mother, I really am not sure how to approach the topic; I’m just thinking of “logistics” in my own head without any valid experience. I appreciate your advice! It seems like I’ll have to really think about finding kid entertainment at the reception or not inviting any!

I think you should approach some of the family members that you can comfortably discuss this with and see how they feel- if they are absolutely against it they will tell you but they may think it’s a great idea. You may also want to consider having a gap between ceremony and cocktail hour to accommodate this so no one misses out

We actually did this. We had a small wedding of 35 and 10 of those guests were nieces and nephews. We cleared it with parents first before we made the decision and they were all happy to have some adult time at our wedding. We rented a conference room in the resort we had our ceremony and reception at and had a parent approved babysitter and my BIL’s Au pair watch the kids in the conference room. We had kids meals ordered for them, a projector that we borrowed for movies and asked each family to bring toys or activities along with them for the kids. We, of course, fed and paid the babysitter and the Au pair. The conference room was right down the hall if parents needed to get to their kids quickly. Kids and parents had a blast!

If I were the parent of a teenager, I would have an issue with my child being asked to babysit random younger kids, and if I were the parent of a younger child (3-10 or so) I wouldn't want to just leave my kid with some random teenager. If this is a situation where everyone knows everyone and the older kids periodically babysit the younger ones anyway (such as siblings or cousins) then maybe, but otherwise I think that's a lot of responsibility to dump on the teens invited to your wedding and not at all appropriate.

I'm glad you're actually thinking about the children rather than just cutting them out. Maybe ask the teen how they feel about being stuck with the children first because I know there are some that don't mind and there are others who would rather party.

A lot of people come down strongly on the kids/no kids question. If you really want parents to come and think they would be reluctant to leave their kids at home, I think this could be a good way to resolve your problem. You are thoughtful to offer an alternative to parents, but I would have a few concerns. The age spread from 5-16 is enormous. 5 year-olds are in kindergarten; 16 year-olds are in high school. They have absolutely nothing in common. Many 5 year-olds are still young enough to be unpredictable to be when left without parents in an unfamiliar location. I think 16 year-olds might be offended at being asked/required to join the 5 year-olds because they are a reception behavior risk. How many rooms will you have for them? How would you handle unhappy/frightened/exhausted kids who cry/want to sleep/run around? How many kids are there? How will you entertain these children for a few hours? How old are your babysitters? What would your child:sitter ratio be? I can't imagine a hotel being ok with putting a bunch of non-adult supervised minors in a hotel room - liability issues. A lot of hotels actually have babysitting services. That might be an option. Someone raised feeding them. Presumably they won't have had dinner before the ceremony. Hangry kids aren't fun for anyone. As I said, I think you are kind to be considering options for parents, but take a good look at it. How well do you know the parents and their children? What are their reactions to the plan likely to be? You may be creating a lot more problems for yourself than you realize.

Just don’t invite kids to begin with some parents would not feel comfortable with their kids on a shuttle by themselves. This way the parents make their own arrangements with babysitting and the stress of it is off your plate. I’m definitely not allowing children at the ceremony or reception because they’re just distracting and an additional unnecessary cost

I’m not sure a shuttle service would transport just children and teens without adults accompanying them. It seems like a major liability.