Kids: Bridal Shower but Not Wedding?

The same etiquette applies regardless of children or adults. If they are not invited to the wedding they are not invited to the shower.

The bridal shower is generally an age friendly event but personally I wouldn’t elect to have children there. I would question how much these girls actually want to be ‘involved’ and whether they’d actually prefer to stay at home. I personally don’t know many children who actually want to have anything to do with any part of a wedding other than eating cake.

If it’s an afternoon event, their moms will be there, etc I don’t see why not?

What do the Hostesses want? If they want to invite others of the same family, parents to wedding, and those parents would be happy to have teens and younger at the shower and not very adult wedding, fine. It id
s pretty much assumed to be okay around here. But showers are a max 1-2 drink thing around here, and showers an afternoon or home by 10 pm local event here.

I agree with Michelle. If they aren't invited to the wedding they aren't invited to the shower.

In this situation, I personally see no issue with including children in the shower if that is what you want to do. Often kids love to hand the bride presents to open! This is a know your crowd type of thing; if you don't think anyone in your inner circle is really stuck on formalities, I say invite them.

There will always be people who say you should never go against formal etiquette practice, but I regularly use an ordinary spoon to eat soup and put my elbows on the table sometimes and I'm quite certain no one in my social circle is judging me for it. The general rule is that people included in pre-wedding events should be invited to the wedding, but sometimes it does make sense to stray from that a bit. Men, I have noticed, seem to be less stuck on what is "proper" and go more for what feels right and makes sense to them, and sometimes I think we should all follow that lead a bit more. Rigid etiquette rules don't always make sense in modern day situations.

You know your guests better than any one on this silly forum does. Maybe pose the same question to some women in your life whose opinions you trust and value, and see what they say. Go along with the general vibe of your closest confidants and don't worry too much about what people on here say.