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Danielle
Just Said Yes September 2021

Kids at the wedding

Danielle, on December 1, 2020 at 8:16 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 27
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Hi all,
My fiancé and I have been back and forth about inviting kids. We have an 8 year old niece that we want there but not sure about a bunch of other kids. Is there a way to say something on the save the dates about if guests will be bringing kids or not? We have the option to rent an additional room attached to the reception space that would be kids only but need to know if anyone would be interested. I don’t want to wait until the invites to ask this information. Any thoughts?

Thank you all in advance.

27 Comments

Latest activity by Teresa, on December 6, 2020 at 1:44 AM
  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
    • Flag
    If you are inviting one kid then you need to invite all. Exception is if the child is in the wedding party (i.e. flower girl).
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  • Danielle
    Just Said Yes September 2021
    Danielle ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    She is the flower girl and we have no problem inviting kids but a few people have told us they would not be bringing their kids. I am trying to get an idea of how many kids would be going so we can reserve the additional space if needed. I was hoping for ideas on how to include if parents would be bringing kids or not on the save the date.
    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag
    I disagree with PP. Inviting only the children of your immediate family is totally fine and exactly what we did. There’s a huge difference between having your niece at your wedding and your coworker’s child that you’ve never met before.


    You shouldn’t let guests decide if kids will be invited or not. You’re either inviting them or you aren’t. If you’re open to the idea of paying for childcare and using the additional room, I would ask some closer friends if it’s something they’re interested in and if so, offer it to everyone. If your wedding is local, just inviting your niece seems like the easiest option.
    • Reply
  • Danielle
    Just Said Yes September 2021
    Danielle ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Thank you. Our wedding is actually in another state and about 3-4 hours from most. I’ve asked close friends but they’re all the ones saying they probably won’t bring kids. It’s family and my fiancé’s friends that haven’t responded about bringing kids.
    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    If it’s something you can afford, it doesn’t hurt to offer it. Maybe you could include a survey on your wedding website and say something like “We are gauging our guests interest in onsite childcare for our wedding. If you are interested, please respond below with the ages of your children so we know how many childcare providers we will need.”

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  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    I agree with Caytlyn. The only kids that will be at our big wedding is our 2 kids and my nieces and nephews. Other than that no other kids are invited and we made that perfectly clear. None of our guests were offended by that and honestly, it's my husbands and I decision at the end of the day 🤷🏾‍♀️.


    If you want to pay for an extra room then go for it, but don't feel obligated to invite other kids just because your niece will be there
    • Reply
  • Danielle
    Just Said Yes September 2021
    Danielle ·
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    Oh, that’s a great idea. Thank you so much!
    • Reply
  • Shelly
    Rockstar January 2022
    Shelly ·
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    This is a great idea, and will ensure that you get responses!

    I also agree with Caytlyn's previous post about inviting kids. This DOES NOT need to be a blanket rule. We're only having children of the immediate family attend, and have this posted on our wedding website under FAQs.

    Most parents love the idea of an adult's only wedding because it gives them a 'night off' from parent duties. It's a chance for them to relax and have fun without having to worry about where their kids are etc.

    • Reply
  • Allie
    Rockstar November 2021
    Allie ·
    • Flag
    We are only extending the invitation for kids to my FH’s sisters’ children and quite frankly, he’s made it pretty clear to them that he doesn’t even want their kids there because they’re still going to be extremely young (oldest will be 5, youngest will be 2). I don’t see a problem with what you are doing because we don’t want all of our friends and extended family bringing kids to a more adult party.
    • Reply
  • Katherine
    Dedicated October 2021
    Katherine ·
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    I'm doing an adult only reception with the exception of the flower girl and ring bearer.
    • Reply
  • Erin
    Savvy November 2021
    Erin ·
    • Flag
    We will be having kids at my wedding because I have a lot of nieces and nephews. If you don't want kids other than relation you could always but on the invitation that you want them to think of it as a date night without the kids celebrating your marriage! I know a friend that did that and everyone loved it!
    • Reply
  • Erin
    Expert May 2021
    Erin Online ·
    • Flag

    I am only inviting family kids since i want them in family pictures but i am not inviting my friends kids..it would be too much.

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  • Michelle
    Master October 2022
    Michelle Online ·
    • Flag
    Many people get upset even when immediate family children only are invited and everyone else is told to stay home. Kids are an all or nothing thing with no exceptions. Discuss your plans by word of mouth with necessary parties (usually a couple close guests in the situation) before you book onsite babysitting service and send out save the dates.
    • Reply
  • Erin
    VIP December 2020
    Erin ·
    • Flag

    I don't think there's anything wrong with asking people if they are bringing kids. That is important information, especially if you guys are going to book a babysitting service for the separate kids room. Plus, most catering companies and venues want a complete head count, and kids tend to be priced at a different level to adults. It also lets families know that their kids ARE welcome, so there's no question or panic to figure out childcare, or pressure if they can't. I know a lot of people I know wouldn't be able to go if their kids weren't able to go.

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  • K
    Dedicated September 2021
    Kristina ·
    • Flag
    I'm having the same concern. Some of my cousins have kids and some are well-mannered, some not. I'm trying to figure out how to say "no bad kids" without saying it lol I think it would be fine to have just immediate family members or their children. I may just invite my niece/nephews but not anyone else's kids. You can't worry about making everyone happy, so go with what you truly want.
    • Reply
  • Courtney
    Savvy May 2021
    Courtney ·
    • Flag

    Hi! I do not want kids at my reception either. I included our wedding website on the Save the Date. I noted under the schedule part that the bride and groom request that this is an adult-only reception! Hope that helps!

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  • K
    Dedicated September 2021
    Kristina ·
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    That's a good idea! We may put that on the save the dates as well. My niece/nephews are all in their teens and the other family kids are a bit younger. I think it will be a more easily managed event without the younger ones.
    • Reply
  • C
    Just Said Yes November 2020
    Carol ·
    • Flag
    I didn’t invite any kids at my wedding (except the two flower girls and a ring bearer). It was totally worth it and gave parents a break and a fun night out. A few people were offended but in the end this is your day and they will get over it. Kids will make noise during the ceremony and run around during the reception ....Definitely don’t have kids! Just write “Adult Reception to Follow”. Good luck and congratulations!
    • Reply
  • Jenna
    Just Said Yes April 2022
    Jenna ·
    • Flag
    You could always make a Facebook group/event and add those who have kids and ask their opinion on there! A lot of people understand when people don’t want kids there or are selective of kids so don’t worry too much about that!
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar April 2021
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    We’re having a no children ceremony. The only children that’ll be there is the flower girl & ring bearer. We’ve told everyone to please make arrangements if they have children. We have it on our response cards. I’ve been to weddings that have kids & all you see is them running around, laughing & screaming. Our kids are older so it’s not something we want.
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