Kid free wedding

I've friends who say make it a date night, it's an adult-only wedding

but honestly if you are having those kids be ring bearer or flower girl it seems kind of customary to invite or allow those kids to be there at the reception.

If they’re in the wedding, they need to be invited to the reception. Kids in the wedding party are always the exception to the no kid rule.

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I agree!!!

It would be rude to say they can only be in the ceremony then need to go home. Make the entire thing no kids or allow the kids in the wedding to come to the reception. Otherwise it seems like you just want to use the kids as props.

I feel like kid free means all kids. No other child (including my own niece who is the flower girl) is going to be there. If they come then it's not kid free and others could get upset that they had to find babysitters when she is allowed to bring her kids. I get the whole just because they are in the ceremony but there will be nothing for them to do and $75 for a child's meal is ridiculous which is why we made this decision.

FYI. I also offered to pay for childcare but they want family only to watch them.

Have you talked to them about the expense and how other children in the ceremony will also not be there?

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Then you're using them as props and not as people as well as putting your bridesmaid and groomsmen in a pickle. Wedding party members are an accepted exception to the rule. I think it would be wise to just not have kids in the ceremony if you don't want any at all at the reception.

View Quoted Comment Bingo. I would never allow my child to participate in someone’s wedding and then be forced into sending them home with someone. They would either be staying for the whole event or they wouldn’t be participating.

View Quoted Comment While I'd usually agree with everyone else on this post, I feel like you really went above and beyond offering to pay for childcare. I'd say offer again, if not, consider rescinding the ask of them being in the wedding? It seems rude, but if you offered for pay for child care, and they declined and still plan to bring them, that's super rude.

You can’t just use their children for your ceremony then send them away. They’re either invited to the entire event or none of it.

In all honesty, if you don't want kids at the reception then you shouldn't have them in the ceremony....especially since both of their parents are also in the wedding. You are basically using them as a prop at that point, which I am sure was not your intentions. But it's not really fair to make those children endure all of the boring stuff, and not get to enjoy the fun part afterwards. If I were you, I'd make an exception for any children in the wedding.

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Understandably. I don't let anyone watch my children other than family. Therefore, that is a respectable decision on their part.

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Thank you. I get what everyone else is saying but I offered to make accommodations to help them have a great night. I don't want to give in but I just might in order to keep the peace. They will be at the ceremony, pictures, and cocktail hour plus the intros at the beginning of the reception,

If the kids are in the wedding, then the least you can do is pay for them to eat at your reception. The reception is meant to be your way of saying "thank you" to everyone who has witnessed your wedding ceremony. It would be rude of you to send the children home because you don't want to feed them.

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It's not rude to decline the child care. I wouldn't be comfortable with anyone but close family watching my children either.

View Quoted Comment Totally agree.

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No... just no. It's rude to invite people (even child people) to witness the ceremony then not include them in the reception. It's also a stretch to assume that parents would be comfortable with people they don't know watching their kids. My kids are literally only watched by family members or school environments because there's too many weirdos out there. It's not a "plan to bring them" thing. They are IN the ceremony. They are already there.

We're fine with our flower girl and ring bearers staying for the reception; they're important to us and we want them there. The only unspoken exception we're making to the kids free rule is a friend's autistic son- we want to give them as many options as possible.

For all others it will be on the website, we're addressing invites to only the adults, indicating number of reserved seats on the RSVP, and by word of mouth.

I have never heard of having kids in the ceremony, then having them leave? That's kind of weird to me. I'd just have no kids in the ceremony, or invite the kids in the ceremony to the reception. It's a lot to ask someone to find family/friends/sitter to come to the ceremony and pick up their kids after they spend the money and time to be in the ceremony.