Keeping elopement a secret

YMMV - Your mileage may vary

View Quoted Comment Agreed. This is the definition of eloping! I assume the definition is changing with the times but I keep hearing of what some call "elopements" which just sound like a small intimate ceremony/DW. I always knew elopements to be going away in secret to marry. Which by nature has always resulted in hurt feelings but each couple does whatever is right for them. I dunno if older couples who eloped had a public engagement though? That may be the part that let the cat out of the bag causing questions. Maybe either keep it all the way quiet (beginning to end) then surprise or tell whomever by saying you're having a private ceremony. I would definitely tell parents though.

Why is this a thing? Tell people you’ve eloped! What’s the issue? People will be happy for you, and if they aren’t? Screw em.

Your parents and best friends need to be told. After that then its up to you. As a parent I would be livid if my child eloped without telling me. My cousin, who I was very close with, got engaged, they were planning a wedding then next thing we know they were married. Told no one...my aunt was hurt as she didn't get to see her only son get married, the family was hurt...yes its your day and if you want to elope and only be th two of you thats fine...but not to let your family know you have decided this can create major issues for a long time.

Everyone basically knows we want to elope. We want to surprise people after with the details and date. Not so much a secret as a surprise

View Quoted Comment Then tell people! Seriously.

One of my best friends eloped and only told me and her family, after being convinced to do so. The other girls in her BP are going to be seriously hurt that they weren’t told until their vow renewal in May. Just tell them. It’s not a big deal.

My dad and his wife eloped and it seriously hurt all of us kids. It wasn't that they wanted to do it privately it was that they didn't let any of us know. They literally just did it one day and text us to tell us. I wish he would have even said "We plan to elope" then it would have gone down easier. Please just make sure your nearest and dearest know.

Thank you Melissa H. The only secret is the date. We’re not hiding anything else

View Quoted Comment

Pretty sure Melissa H was being ironic...

MelissaHH was definitely being ironic.

I never said I was keeping the marriage a secret. We are announcing I‎t the next day. People know our intent to elope but not specific details. I’m not lying to anyone

View Quoted Comment I actually don't see any issue with your plan. Your loved ones know you plan to eloped and you plan to tell them as soon as you get back that you're married. As far as others who are asking about your planning, just be honest with them, too. Tell them you're actually going to elope so they don't feel like you led them to believe there was going to be a large wedding, and don't keep people in the dark after you've shared with your family and closest friends. You don't need to provide any details beyond "we plan to elope" or "we're considering eloping."

My cousin eloped and my aunt and grandma were pretty hurt when they announced it. I get why they decided to do it, there was some tough family drama going on, but proceed with caution and the knowledge that you might well hurt some people.

Spill the beans. It's the biggest day of your life!

My mom literally did this last week. Everyone keeps telling me they're sorry and assuming I'm hurt by it. I'm not. I'm happy for them. The big wedding thing wasn't for them. You do you.