Just found out I'm Pregnant!

I have been there so allow me: My first was two weeks late. OB/GYN's do not care that you are getting married in a bit - your baby may be late and you will have a two week old on your wedding day.

You will be sleep deprived. You will be more emotional than ever. You are taking two HUGE life changes and putting them together.

My second one was C section and it was weeks before I could walk normally, let alone host a party.

Please move your date up to this summer or postpone until next summer or fall 2019.

You can think this with your body or that with your body but the truth is you don't know. Why not separate the two events and enjoy them each on their own?

Edited to add: I just read that you are going ahead with the wedding. Best wishes!

OMG congrats date twin! That must be so exciting and a little overwhelming! It usually takes more than a month to lose the baby weight, and with a form fitting mermaid dress, you won't have much grace room. Also, even if you lose a lot of the weight, your body still might not look the same, especially your belly only one month postpartum.

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Hey girl. Thanks for saving me some typing.

Second allllll of this. Also I gave birth 1.5 years ago and my tummy still does not look like it once did, nor would it appreciate a mermaid dress.

Good luck but I think you are underestimating a bit

I feel like the issue wouldn't be the dress, it'd be the fact that you just gave birth, it takes your body time to heal and you would have a newborn.

Do you have someone close to you who has a baby you can speak to? You've gotten great advice on here about what life is like after birth but I bet it's overwhelming and can be hard to take, especially from internet strangers. Maybe someone you trust will explain to you how difficult it will be.

I wish you luck, but agree, you are underestimating what you are going to be going through.

Im sorry i have no dress advice but would like to say congratulations!!!!

You may want to consider changing your wedding date. What if your baby comes early? Then your wedding will have to be called off.

I would postpone. In addition to the other valid points, a 2-4 week infant should not be out at a gathering especially that time of year with cold and flu season beginning then. It isn’t safe for the baby.

First, congratulations!

Second, I definitely think you should take what other PPs are saying to heart and really consider whether or not you want to go through with your wedding in November. I'm not a mom yet, but two of my best friends have young kids - one delivered naturally, one had a c-section - and I clearly recall them both being down and out for a good 2-3 months. I know you want to keep your date, but I do think you're underestimating everything that will be happening in the month leading up to your wedding. Just be kind to yourself.

My MIL gave birth about a week before her sisters wedding, where she was supposed to be the MOH. I get that this is a smaller role than being the actual bride, but she said that there was absolutely no way she could have gone to that wedding and she bowed out.

It's absolutely normal for a first time mom to give birth late, it can be anywhere from a few days to a few weeks late. Honestly, the dress is your least concern. Do you want to people from all over bring in new germs for your baby? Who will hold the baby during the ceremony? What if they get hungry during the ceremony, will you stop to feed them?

I get your concerns about people having bought flights and hotel rooms, but honestly, everything can be moved around and it's not worth it if you spend thousands on an event that in the future you will look back on with regrets.

You do what you want to do but I think you’re going to fully regret not pushing your wedding back. I left the hospital with a flat stomach but my weight and fitting into my clothes was the least of my problems. I bled for about 6 weeks after my csection (lololol white dresses would be out of the question), I had painful gas for 2 weeks straight because of the surgery, my boobs were leaking like a faucet (I’m talking I was changing my sheets every day because they were soaked), and on top of that, I was taking care of a newborn with almost no sleep after undergoing major surgery. And don’t get me started on Baby Blues/PPA/PPD. You may be one of the exceptions to the rule but the first few months of parenthood suck and trying to still have a wedding one month PP is one of the worst ideas I’ve ever heard.

Oh honey. This is such an incredible blessing, so congratulations!!! As someone who has planned a relatively low key wedding, and recently had a straightforward birth, I just need to give you a heads up.

Please......for your sanity......change your plans.

The month leading up to your wedding is stressful. The things you have to do, the people you need to coordinate, etc. Even if you have a planner. IT. IS. STRESSFUL.

The month after you have a baby is the most black hole suck of your life you will ever experience. Even if everything is perfect. Your baby is healthy, you are healthy......this is a brand new person who has no idea what the world is about. They will cry. They will keep you up at night. If you breastfeed, your boobs will leak and hurt and honestly you wont even want to wear a shirt. You will question everything. You will gaze at this wonderful new little person and wonder how you managed life without them. You will not give a single flying fig about your wedding, except to stress about how are you going to go to a fitting when the baby hasn't napped in 3 hours and you need to get them to sleep and you need to take a nap yourself and dear god are they eating enough and how long has it been since they have pooped and oh crap how many days has it been since I've showered??? (that run on sentence is your brain as a new mom).

Your wedding is a beautiful day. Your newborn baby is an amazing wonder. Don't ruin BOTH of those experiences by trying to put them together. Even if you are the same size (which, while our bodies are different, MOST women do not get back to that size in a few weeks). Fitting into your dress will be the least of your worries.

ETA: also, please think about your baby in this situation. They should not be around all those people so young. They, IMO, should not be left with a sitter so young (although that is totally debatable, of course, just my opinion).

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I want to add that your dress will be the least of your issues. I had my second baby via c-section and had to attend an open house five days later and I was like, no. I did NOT want my baby passed around like a football.

The thought of getting dressed two to three weeks later (first babies are often late - my first went 42 weeks) would be overwhelming, let alone being photographed!!! I pushed so hard, for so many hours, I had broken blood vessels on my face. Then I thought, "How the hell did I grow three chins?" I was so sleep deprived I went into a men's room at a grocery store and wondered "When did they put urinals in the ladies room?" I am a pretty even keeled person who takes things in stride but it is a BIG CHANGE. An awesome, life altering wondrous change but a huge change.

I will be even more blunt: Your wedding will turn into an afterthought that you won't want to deal with. Your relatives and friends will understand about changing plans.

If you are determined to keep the dress I would suggest postponing the wedding. My 1st sons baby weight came off fast but my rib cage expanded. Some pre-pregnancy dresses allowed for that, but some didn't. Maybe consider getting a back up dress and postponing with enough time for alterations to be made.

I'd cry if this happened to me. I love my dress and it is a mermaid fit also. I am wearing that dress. We are being super careful (for this very reason! ) so I can wear my dress and drink on my wedding day, but we do want children soon. So I'd be super happy for the baby, and super upset about the dress. Congratulations and try to sell it, but you won't get what you paid for it unfortunately. You could heavily discount it, and get some money instead of no money I suppose. Good luck and keep us updated!

Congrats! I would start asking around to find someone who does alterations quickly. Some take weeks to get things back so if you can find someone that is quick or have an apt booked far in advance and say I need to be measured 2 weeks before my wedding and the dress has to be ready 1 week before then that would work. I know people mentioned the breast feeding thing and how often they eat. They do. Oh man do they ever. BUT if you pump you can have someone help you with that. I know that some are really again mixing bf and bottle feeding but many make it work. I did this from the time my son was 3 weeks old and on and there was no nipple confusion. It was great because my DH at the time would take on some of the night feedings so I could get a longer stretch of sleep. Yes you'll need a diaper bag and all the baby stuff with you but I hope you have friends and family that will be excited to help take care of the little one so you can relax a little bit.

I know you don't want to postpone, but you really should. My mother was a doula for most of my childhood, and she always told moms she worked with that recovery (for vaginal birth) is 2 weeks IN bed, 2 weeks ON bed, 2 weeks NEAR bed, and then you can start thinking about everything else. If this is your first pregnancy, you're more likely going to have a 41 week pregnancy, or longer. You really don't want to be worried about recovery and last minute wedding details at the same time, especially after the baby is born because you will be exhausted.

Just wanted an update? Did you keep your wedding date and dress? Did baby attend? lol congrats honey on all the new phases of life you entered ♥️

View Quoted Comment Thanks for coming back! I had him on October 18th. and all has been going great. We kept the wedding date since it was mostly paid for and we didn’t really have the means to post pone it. I had no choice but wait until after giving birth to deal with the dress situation. The dress salon said a lot of their brides get pregnant and they all can still wear their dress if they have a corset back added to it, so that was my plan if it didn’t fit. However, that’s not true. My dress no longer fit and a corset back would have done nothing to add space. I only gained 25lbs. And my baby was 8 of it ! So I really didn’t gain too much but that was enough to ruin it. I had to go out and buy a new dress, a week ago and had it rush altered and just picked it up yesterday.
The wedding is this Saturday and the baby will be in the vicinity but he won’t be “attending” and no one will be allowed near him.

View Quoted Comment So happy that everything has worked out and good idea on keeping him away from the guests. Hope you have a beautiful wedding!!