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Savvy 0000

"Just a Piece of Paper"

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D, on July 22, 2019 at 9:06 AM

Morning all! I'm in a complete state of confusion and could really use some advice. Apologies in advance if this comes off as me just ranting.

My fiance and I have been engaged since March, and it's starting to cause a bit of stress (as it does, no surprises there). But my fiance hasnt wanted really anything to do with planning (again, normal), but, over the weekend, he told me that a marriage is "just a piece of paper" and doesn't want the "government" telling him "what to do." Ever since then, my excitement has been gone. I can't every think about planning a wedding if the person I'm supposed to be with isn't excited about being married.

I know I can be very dramatic at times, but has anyone experienced this? I feel completely numb to him not caring and I'm second guessing everything.

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24 Comments

Savvy 0000
D · on July 22, 2019 at 1:12 PM
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Again, thank you for your comments. I understand the general opinion, but I'm just second guessing posting this on here. I shoild have left it alone, but I do appreciate your opinions.
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Savvy 0000
D · on July 22, 2019 at 1:21 PM
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Also, I hope I'm not coming across as rude, because that certainly isn't my intention! I just have a lot to think about and I thought this would help but it's not. Thank you to everyone who has chimed in so far!
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Champion November 2016
LB · on July 22, 2019 at 1:29 PM
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I'm sorry you feel like it's not helping. Sometimes getting an outside view is scary because it makes us consider things we didn't previously. I hope you can find a resolution to your problem that makes you happy.
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Devoted September 2019
Hannah · on July 22, 2019 at 2:21 PM
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I feel bad for you! That sucks that he isn't able to see how marriage is more than just a piece of paper. It must be difficult to go into marriage without any sense of philosophy. There really is a bond that's set in place between the couple - to me, yes, the LICENSE is just a piece of paper. The marriage itself is something entirely different. I agree with anyone who said you could use some type of premarital counseling. You might have a difficult time being married to someone who doesn't appreciate that bond for what it is. And no matter what anyone says - living with and being in love with and committed to someone still isn't the same as being married. There are no vows between you. No set in stone promise that can't be broken. There's a lot missing than just a piece of paper. And just to say one thing --- I know you said this is separate from the prenup -- but it isn't. I really think a prenup renders any vow that comes after it null & void. He's already going into this "commitment" with a way out. A backup plan. That's not the point of marriage.
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