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Beginner April 2019

Joint Bachelor/ette Party!

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Jaz, on April 6, 2018 at 6:20 PM

Hey All,

My FH and I have decided we would kind of like to do a destination joint bachelor/bachelorette party. WE were thinking if we went to LA we could each spend the day seperately doing tux/suit and dress fittings. Then the fist night we would split up and do our own thing with our girls and his guys. and the second night get a party bus or something fun for us all to do together as a Bridal Party. What are your thoughts on this? i know its illtraditional but we aren't the type to need a "last hurrah" nor do either of us want strippers in our face and what not. My other question is, if we do a joint Bachelor/ette party who would do the planning? i knowits customary for the best man and MOH to plan the parties, but because its such a big group my FH and I were considering planning it ourselves since his best man and my MOH dont know each other. Is it completely unacceptable for the bride and groom to plan their bachelor/ette parties? and why???

Sincerely,

Jaz

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23 Comments

Beginner April 2019
Jaz · on April 9, 2018 at 11:57 AM
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Thanks a bunch lady! Im thinking aside of the night together (a party bus would be the easiest financially and planning wise) and the fitting appointmentd the MOH and BM can plan the rest of the trip and have at it! An air bnb for all of us will definitely help us all save money too during the trip.
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Beginner May 2022
Emily · on April 10, 2018 at 1:55 AM
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One of my best friends is doing a joint party in Vegas. We are doing most things with the guys and then shows separate. The MOH and I are planning it (I'm a bridesmaid) as well as her FH's sister (even some of the guys stuff- hotel, pool parties, etc). Even though we're planning she definitely has had a say in what we're doing and how she wants the weekend to be. This is mostly because we want to make sure it's what she wants and not just our vision of what we think she wants (which would honestly still be what she wants). We're planning surprises here and there so there's still some excitement.

In regards to your plans, I like the idea of having a night separate!! We tried to convince our friend of that but at the end it is her weekend and she should get almost whatever she wants. I don't think it's too early to think about these things. Even if you don't end up planning the whole thing, depending on who your MOH/BM is, you may want to help them by giving them suggestions of what you want. I've talked to countless MOHs about frustration of trying to plan the bachelorette party and the bridal shower - it's a lot a work. It's not a bad thing to make it easier for them. Maybe they don't even want to plan and organize. While I see the point others are making about throwing yourself a party, people throw their own birthday parties and many couples now host their own weddings. I would hope that your friends want to celebrate your wedding so hopefully they don't care if you throw it yourself? Lol I'll leave you with an awesome quote by Dr. Suess,

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

Good luck!! Enjoy all the aspects of this as hopefully you'll only go through it once 😉
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Beginner April 2019
Jaz · on April 10, 2018 at 6:58 PM
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This was amazing! I don't think its too early either and in all honesty, we set the wedding date to be in 2020 for that specific reason, so we all have plenty of time plan and save and prepare. I don't want to step on anyone's toes, but I know my MOH knows we were interested in a joint party, she was the first one to even suggest it. Thank you so much for your response!
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