Joint Bachelor/ette Party!

Well...the bride and groom don't plan the bachelor and bachelorette party so I'm not sure you have a say in it...

Thank you for your response.

That first day/night where you're separate that could be your traditional "bachelor/bachelorette party" have your girls and his guys take the lead that night to come up with something fun for you guys to do(again separately). The second night sounds like it would be an awesome time.. it's 2018 do you girl!

View Quoted Comment That's the response I like! Weddings now a days arent as traditional as they used to be... He loves my bridesmaids and I love all his groomsmen so we both thought it would be so much fun to do it together. Plus he wants to do fitted suits for his men so why not merge it all together into one weekend so it's not so financially stressful for the rest of the party to make two trips. Thank you for your response Jacquelyn

I was thinking the same thing as Jacquelyn. Let the MOH and best man plan the separate traditional guys/girls night and then you and your FS plan the rest of it. I think your idea is great and it’s going to be a ton of fun.

View Quoted Comment Awesome! Thanks girl! Super stoked!

Does you getaways weekend take into consideration your MOH and BMs budget? Have they already offered to throw a bachelor/ette yet?

The bride and groom don't plan the parties because people, in general, aren't honest on whether they can afford the plans or not. The MOH or best man typically gets input from others before deciding what will occur, including a discussion on budget. Destination parties are expensive.

"You do you" can put you in a very embarassing position. Etiquette has evolved, but it still exists to guide all of us in appropriate behavior.

There is a reason that brides and grooms don't plan their own bachelor parties. It is not polite to throw a party in your own honor.

If your MOH decides she wants to host a bachelorette, it is up to her to contact the guest list, establish everyone's budgets and then coordinate the rest of the planning. It is inappropriate for you to approach your MOH and say "I want a bachelorette in LA. You can take over planning now".

How do you know that everyone wants to spend the kind of money that a trip to LA would cost?

View Quoted Comment They have not offered yet. I got engaged last month and our wedding date is not until 2020. So it's still really early, they we're fairly recently asked which gives plenty of time for planning, communication and saving.

View Quoted Comment Wait if your wedding is in 2020 how do you even have a MOH? I would take a step back and plan the big stuff then hold off on even asking a BP until, at most, a year out. It's way too soon to be planning bachelor/ettes

View Quoted Comment As I've said to others, it's all very early and still in discussion which is why I am making this post. Thank you for your input. 😊

Your bachelorette party isn't going to be important enough for people to save for it, especially one that is two years away. Plus, life gets in the way and money will go for life.

View Quoted Comment Okay well thanks for your advice! I'm trying to make a budget and everything else is falling into play so I'm just trying to give people time to plan. But I can dig it's too early and I guess I'm out of place.

View Quoted Comment Great input once again. Sorry if my post comes off ignorant.... Im new to this and just have so much running through my mind. But I guess I'm jumping the gun. #bridezilla but I'm sure I'm not the only one.

Hey !!! This sounds awesome my suggestion is talk to the maid of honor and best men ask both if they don’t mind exchanging numbers so they can keep in contact to plan the bachelorette , as far as wedding plan you don’t have to follow traditions it’s just made up things it isn’t a actual rules of how to do or plan a wedding , whoever said yes to be being in your bridal party can save money for a one time weekend bacholrette that’s being planned two years in advance if they can’t than you just have to be understanding and just kindly keep moving forward good luck

We're having a co-ed bach weekend too! Hell yeah, it's 2018 and we didn't feel it necessary to mourn our single life whatsoever.

In terms of who plans, we had no say but our Best Man teamed up with one of our groomsmen, MOH and a few of our bridesmaids to plan for a beach weekend at a lakehouse in Vermont with brewery tours, wine tastings and a beachhouse party with board and lawn games for 16 people. Not as wild as LA but it's our pace.

When it comes to planning, really try to stay hands off, you chose your bridal party because they've loved and supported your relationship, so trust that they'll put together a fun weekend for you! Have fun! 💖😊

The issue when the couple brings up the plan is that people feel like they can’t say no, or that they don’t want to or can spend the money. Which leads to just a few people going and everyone is salty.

I saw this go down with a friends wedding last year. She TOLD us she wanted Cancun. She is still upset that only her and the MOH went. It was just too much for Thurs- Mon. I still spent about $1200 on that wedding and the trip would of been another $1000 easily.

Be be careful with this. The right thing to do is not bring it up and see what if anything they decide to plan in your honor.

We’re doing a joint bachelor/bachelorette party too! A Long Beach weekend. My MOH is planning everything because the groomsmen are not on top of planning.

You can be as involved in the planning as you want! It’s your party, you should enjoy it. I helped pick the house we’are renting but after that I’ve been hands off. Talk to your wedding party, tell them what you want, and set expectations. If you want them to take point, give them free range, or if you have a vision in your head let them know and keep the lines of communication open. If you want to plan the whole thing, go to town and tell everyone what they owe. You do you!

View Quoted Comment Exactly what I was thinking. The Bach party isn't mandatory. But our court loves to travel and we are all the type to plan trips and getaways together anyways.