Joint bachelor/bachelorette party??

I will never understand the appeal of bachelor/ette parties. I'm totally with you on this, I'm much happier partying with FW than without her, and we mostly share the same group of friends so it would feel really odd to leave one of us out. If you both are uncomfortable with the usual thing, I think all going out together is a great idea. Celebrate being with each other and with your friends all together.

FH and I both have lots of friends/family out of town, so we don't want to make anyone travel twice (once for a bach party, once for the wedding). So we're tossing around the idea of doing a joint bach party the Thursday before the wedding. Go out on a boat all day, then rent a party bus and go to bars. Maybe we'd split up for during the day/dinner and then meet up later, or something like that. I do go out without FH and do girls night and things like that, but this sounds more fun to me!

Some people are against it and don't get why we don't want our own. I don't understand the "last big hurrah" thing about bach parties. Like, I'm still going to do girls nights after I'm married. I think this is one thing that's up to you!

FH band I have been discussing the same thing and feel the same way about it....pretty sure we will have a joint get together.

All relative to the couple, we are having seperate parties which works for us- has nothing to do with trust (in my opinion) but what you're comfortable with. If that's how you want it then do it and have fun

I really like the idea of doing a party bus! GM are all mad about going out as a group and BM keep wanting to hire a stripper and I told them id be pissed if they did. So I was thinking to avoid awkwardness do them together. I think GM are mad bc their significant others are BM. Lol

From the bachelorette parties I've been to, I think there are a number of sweet benefits to separate parties. For one, there's a certain way you talk about your SO when he/she is not around. At the bachelorettes I've attended, there's always some level of gushing about the groom. The bride talks about the sweet things he does, his quirks, what a good father he'll be, and the bridal party talks about what a great couple they make, etc. It gets very giddy.

Also, I think it reinforces the idea that though we are getting married, it is still important to reconnect with that independent side of yourself. As we get older and start families the times we are out on our own with girlfriends become fewer and father between.

And finally, and the end of the party, the bride/groom always seems ready to "escape" back to their real life, lol. My FH's bachelor party is in three weeks. It will be three days in New orleans with his best friends, and I'm sure it will be a blast. But I am also sure he will return home hung over and sick from all the junk food and say, "FW, I am so glad I'm not single anymore!"

That being said, everyone should have the party that makes them comfortable!

Hahahah I loved the last part of that! It's very true once they don't have us there they realize how much they miss us! My friends said the same thing about independence but he's my best friend so going out and partying without him doesn't sound very fun

I also would not feel comfortable with my fiance heading to a strip club as the entertainment for the bachelor party (they can get in enough trouble as it is just at a bar!) I think if you and your fiance would prefer it, go with the joint party! You could always break away from the guys for awhile: think lingerie shower in the hotel room then dinner with the girls, and meet up with the guys for drinks & dancing at the bar later.

That would be pretty fun!! I just don't do strippers so id freak if one showed up

I can totally see us doing a joint party. We don't really have close outside friends. It's always just us and maybe the occasional fun work-friend party. If his brother (BM) decides he wants to take FH out for a night on the town, that's awesome, but if not then I can see a bunch of us just going to the bar.

That's what I'm leaning towards Melanie. It's always us except for going out with siblings and BM

We were going to do a joint but have since changed our mind. FH is most likely going to the strippers and I am not sure what is planned for mine. But it will be fun and the only rule is he has to come home to me at the end of the night and no puking in the bed. Otherwise he can do whatever the hell he wants. And if he wins any money at the casino or porter he spends it on me.

Dang stephanie I am not okay with that lol. I am not giving him permission to cheat. I trust him, but would never say do whatever he wants because that is wrong. It's the last night before he is married, not the last night single...

I'm not giving him permission to cheat. All our normal standards still apply like you can look but don't touch, no kissing other girls etc. but a stripper is a stripper. It's no big deal. Heck we may end up at them. I may even take him to see them in Vegas on our honeymoon. It's just a stripper.

The last wedding I went to did the joint bachelor/bachelorette thing, and it was a lot of fun. It was basically just the bride and groom, the wedding party, and some other out-of-town friends. They reserved a private event room at a restaurant/bar and everyone had a great time. Not sure what FH and I will do yet... While neither of us is into the stripper/crazy party thing, I could see him wanting some "guy time" with his groomsmen before the wedding, since he doesn't see them very often.

We are looking at renting some awesome beach house somewhere and making a weekend of it. FH can go to the strippers any time he wants to, but hasn't been the entire time we've been together and I think that he has no desire to go. I think that a joint party sounds awesome and no pressure on anyone. We are looking forward to having a fun weekend getaway/ roadtrip. We figure if everyone chips in the money that they would spend on one night of drinking we can feed everyone and have unlimited drinks and the extra will go towards the rental and we will fork out the rest. The BM and MOH I think are supposed to organize and pay for things, but both are short on money and very relieved that we said that they just have to show up and be awesome.

I totally hear you! We don't go out without each other too much really either, we'd rather be together then not. FH has been going to a lot of bach parties with strippers and going to strip clubs and such and it's annoying and shitty but I just have to brush it off. You know your man is faithful and blah blah blah but it sucks to know some other girl is waving her tits around. haha

But I'm commenting because maybe you want to consider something like what I am doing?? we're doing a 1/2 joint bach/bachlorette party. We're going to the Hampton's for the weekend (Fri-Sunday). we have a girls house and a guys house that are near each other. Friday we'll be together, Saturday during that day we're going on a Vineyard tour and then sat night we're going out all together in the area. That way we get separate girl/guy time but are still able to have a fun weekend together with out bridal parties and close friends. Maybe you 2 want to go away for a weekend or a night and do something similar?? That way you get the bach/bachlorette experiencing but still get to be together.

Go with whatever you are comfortable with. We are doing separate things.

I personally am not a fan of joint bach parties but they are common and a lot of people enjoy them. I think if that works for you both then great.

However if the main reason you want to do it is for fear of what happens at separate bachelor/bachelorette parties than you should know those parties are more for the single friends not the couple. If you are both committed to each other then a night out separately isn't going to all of a sudden make you cheat or even come close to it. Like what AprilBride said I think it's a great way to show your friends that even though you will be married, you consider them important and will still spend time with them separate from SOs.

My experience was this: both our friends wanted strippers, we didn't. We agreed that IF they chose to have strippers, private lap dances or any kind of touching was not allowed. My girls took me to a burlesque show, a karaoke club and then dancing. His boys took him drinking and dancing, a groomsmen projectile vomited outside the strip club prompting them not to go in and they went back to the room and got drunk instead (Minus the one groomsmen who passed out on the living room floor lol). Also, NOBODY wanted to dance with us!!! I was griping to him about how all night long my girls had guys dancing with them and I kept ending up by myself dancing alone and he said the same thing happened to him. The times he would try to dance with a girl they'd be like "eww but aren't you the groom?" and push him away. We were definitely ready to go back to our normal life together by the end of the weekend lol.

If you guys just set boundaries as far as what's acceptable and what's a deal breaker then I think you'll be able to have a great time whether you end up doing a joint party or not.

Also, I think it reinforces the idea that though we are getting married, it is still important to reconnect with that independent side of yourself. As we get older and start families the times we are out on our own with girlfriends become fewer and father between

^^THIS!!! Bach. parties aside, still ^^this.

Anyways, we haven't planned anything yet, but are kicking around the idea of a vegas trip with a few friends. We'd do some things together and some things separate. I'm trying to decide if I should just do something local where more of my friends can come, or go to vegas and have a big blowout, but only 1 or 2 friends would be able to make it.