Jewish Officiant Pricing - NYC

Our officiant is not Jewish, but that's three times what we're paying. We are in NYC

Our Rabbi was just around 750 in South Florida. 1800 is insane to me.

And don't feel bad about telling the Rabbi no. When it comes down to it, he's a vendor.

Can't comment on rabbi pricing, but maybe it's similar to churches and priests/pastors, where generally, if you're a member, there's no charge for them to officiate. Could be something to look into. Our officiant is our parish priest, and he does not charge anything. We'll make a donation to the church of around $300.

I'm aware that the pricing is nuts... but how do you tell a Rabbi that they're just NOT in your budget... and how the heck do you try to find one at a cheaper price? I don't feel like you can exactly google "Cheap Rabbis" haha.

I hid this post from vendors because the one that quoted me at that was one I found through wedding wire, and I don't want to offend them. I really did like them, but that just isn't going to work for us...

Well the good news for you is there are a ton of congregations in NYC. Is this the price from the rabbi of the synagogue you belong to?

In my city, we had to become temple members before the rabbi would agree to do our wedding. Some temples have a fixed price for the rabbi, but they also do a free or reduced cost temple membership for the couple for their first year of marriage, because they want to facilitate the couple's building a Jewish home together.

I also agree to allow vendors to comment. I'm thinking of Celia who is a professional officiant in the NYC/NJ area.

I'm a member of my church (in nowhere near as expensive an area as NYC) and there's still a *recommended* donation to the clergy's fund of $300 for my priest and around $700 for the church and ceremony music but my church & clergy refuse to host or officiate weddings for non-members all together.

ETA: Just saw your comment about finding the officiant through WW. It might be a better bet for you to call around or visit local shuls/temples. They may want you to join or work with the community before they agree to officiate the wedding, which is their right as a religious leader.

I'm not a member of the temple- in fact I'm not a member of ANY temple... which is why i'm shopping around . I wish I had a congregation to turn to, and I know that not being a member, pricing will probably be higher.

OK- I give up, I'll open it up to vendors- I'm just afraid of offending! eek! Vendors- help!

"I'm sorry but that is just not in our price range. Thank you so much for your time."

I've never seen a Rabbi on the forums before and I don't think its offensive that they're out of your price range. It just is what it is.

I would call around to local shuls and see if their Rabbis do weddings for people who are not members of the congregation. That's how we found ours.

I could be wrong but I believe vendors can still see this but can't comment. So not letting them comment for the reason you used doesn't make much sense. Celia might even have recommendations since this is her field and she's in the area.

@Bee- I've edited the thread so vendors can comment now- if you're right, I misunderstood how the forum worked!

Thanks!

Ok, this response will probably get me scolded, but I have seen rabbinical students officiate weddings before, and they've done it well. I believe they practice this in seminary. But it also depends on the

student because they don't have much experience yet. You have Hebrew Union College (reform) and Jewish Theological Seminary (conservative) in NYC. Perhaps you can have a 4th or 5th year rabbinical student or cantorial student officiate. CHECK THOUGH whether a rabbinical student can legally solemnize the marriage (i.e. Will the marriage be valid if officiated by the student). I don't know the legality of whether students can solemnize. Perhaps you will need to do a city hall ceremony to legally solemnize.

Honestly though, I would not skimp on the rabbi. You want a professional officiant. And I eschew the "just another vendor" attitude. The officiant is the most important part of the day. Without him or her, there would be no need for the reception and other vendors. If you are not already a synagogue member, perhaps try to find someone who better fits your needs.

Edit: Correcting Autocorrect.

@CoffeeNColor My comment about an officiant being "just another vendor" is in regards to how OP interacts with them. Just because the person is a Rabbi doesn't mean she needs to be scared to tell them that she can't afford their services.

@LB & @CoffeeNColor- I agree with you both, which is why I'm so torn on how to handle this. I really do value having the right officiant, but I have to be realistic about budget :/

I will definitely reach out to Hebrew Union, that's a great idea - I went to NYU right down the block!

@Alyssachu- unfortunately my parents are no longer members at the temple I grew up going to, and my FH is not Jewish (another wrinkle in the Rabbi saga- we need to find one who will be okay with officiating an interfaith wedding ceremony, which not all will do).

The FH is, thankfully, okay with having a Rabbi officiate and having a Jewish ceremony.

^^i disagree with Mary. I would at least send back a polite email and say "Unfortunately that is beyond our budget. Thank you for your time."

Thank you all for your help! Last night after posting this thread and going through your responses we went and met with another Rabbi who we LOVED, and connected with far better than with the initial Rabbi with the higher quote. This second Rabbi isn't cheap... but he's half the price of the first Rabbi- so that's already progress, and to some extent I think that working with someone you really connect with is worth paying a bit.

Thank you all for giving me a context to know that that was a crazy price!

So I'm set! I HAVE AN OFFICIANT! YAY!!

Wow, I need to give up the guitar and start doing ceremonies. That's a spectacular fee! No one ever paid me near that much to play Hava Nagila

I was going to suggest Rabbi Dennis Tobin, in north NJ. Typically, the rabbis I know charge 800-950.

Yeah Miguel. Go right ahead and let us know how that works out for you.

If its not in your budget you say I'm sorry Rabbi but it isn't in our budget. Every though he's a man of the cloth he is offering a service and shouldn't look down on you because you can't afford his price. He is in a business to make money not rob people. Business is business. His personal belief as a Rabbi has to take a back seat when dealing with the public. He can't condemn you guys to hell because his price is out of your budget