Jersey shore beach house wedding - any tips?

My understanding is most Airbnb restrict parties/weddings due to liability concerns. You'd have to check with the host to see if they allow weddings/parties to take place at their house. I am not familiar with Vrbo though. I also don't know as if there's a way to really prevent a host from cancelling. I thought you'd be better off looking for a beach front wedding venue. That way you actually know weddings are allowed and you'd have a contract that would protect you from cancellations.

View Quoted Comment Thank you! Both sites (Vrbo and Airbnb) allow you to search exclusively for homes that allow events - some specify allowing weddings and others just have a generic “events allowed” tag. We are finding a pretty good amount of options on both sites, so are feeling pretty confident that our plan will work (and strongly hoping to avoid a traditional venue as we’re pretty unconventional and want to do a 90s house party theme 😊) But was mostly just wondering if anyone had some helpful hints before I start having dialogue with various hosts and realtors!

View Quoted Comment That is true from their latest information. While some individuals may advertise that they allow parties, that goes against Airbnb/Vrbo’s policies and the homeowner can lose their right to rent through those companies, in addition to you having your event shut down without warning or refund.

View Quoted Comment I’m a little bit confused - Vrbo states in its policies (ie this one https://help.vrbo.com/articles/Can-I-have-an-event-at-a-vacation-rental) that it does allow authorized events as long as guests follow local noise ordinances and the host allows it, which many do. Additionally, the app allows both hosts and guests to select a search feature for only properties allowing events. Some owners even take the extra step of specifically stating that they allow weddings (the site gives you room to specify which sorts of events are allowed) so it’s hard to imagine that the site would have a search feature that violates its own rules.


I would never book a rental without written consent from the owner that my event can take place, so that is not the issue here. My question was whether there was anyone who had done this and could advise me on particulars before I begin dialogues with hosts and/or realtors.

Once you narrow it down to your top few properties, I would just reach out to the hosts and ask them your specific questions; as well as whether they offer a contract that addresses the issues. Living in such a litigious society, it's wise to always have these things in writing. Plus it helps both parties to accurately remember what was discussed/agreed upon; and having explicit guidelines about cancellations is a huge protection for both parties involved.

View Quoted Comment While they might allow you to search and hosts have this listed it actually goes against Airbnb's policy to allow parties/wedding. Here's a link that explains it. https://news.airbnb.com/official-codification-of-party-ban/

View Quoted Comment This is so helpful, thank you! I’ve mainly been looking on Vrbo bc they’re pretty clear about allowing events. Many of those hosts do have stipulations requiring written contracts, and I definitely would want one as well. I worked in the civil courts for too many years to allow anything to chance! Lol.

View Quoted Comment The “how the codified policy will work” section of this actually confirms that people CAN have authorized events at approved rentals lol - it says disruptive/unauthorized/open invite events are banned - mine is thankfully none of the above, just a largish family gathering - and that they are lifting the pandemic era 16-person occupancy cap. I think they’re just trying to prevent raves and ragers and stuff. I really don’t want to do a traditional venue at all, as we want our own food and also want to allow people to dress in casual beachwear, so I am grateful to see this list of stated parameters, knowing I can make this work while staying within these rules. Vrbo does seem to grant more latitude than Airbnb, but it looks like I can make this work with either. Thanks!

View Quoted Comment No, I think you are misinterpreting it. it also says you can't list Airbnbs as event spaces nor can you have more people than the space is designed for.

View Quoted Comment I’m aware of the latter and plan to respect capacities - the former is a misinterpretation on your part. I’d really appreciate if you’d keep your negative energy to yourself. I’ve tried to be polite but you seem strangely intent on convincing me I can’t have a family reception at a beach house even after admitting that you’re not familiar with one of two listing sites that I mentioned. Seems like a really strange use of your free time. Have a good one!

I'm surprised that hosts would allow gathering if they are not licensed or insured to do so. Are there formal event spaces in the area that you're interested in? I might feel more comfortable going that route. I think a few of us have heard stories on here about doing events at rental houses and so we're more alert to potential problems.

View Quoted Comment I appreciate this thoughtful reply, Ty! We’re pretty set on avoiding a formal/traditional venue - not to knock them at all, but we’re both from pretty casual Bronx families and our wedding will probably have somewhat of a 90s hip hop vibe .. we are walking down the aisle to a Method Man/Mary J Blige duet and my fiancé is a sneaker head and prob will wear custom kicks, so I don’t think a formal place will feel authentic.. plus don’t want to use their catering.


I’ve researched this a lot and also heard some horror stories as well as some success stories. To me it seems that the problems arise when the couple is not forthcoming about how they intend to use the property, so we’re going to avoid that by being 100% honest and probably even double checking what the host tells us with Vrbo/Airbnb. I was mostly on here in case there were any potential issues to bring up in conversation with hosts that I hadn’t thought of - checking on licensure and insurance is a great thing to add to the list. Thank you!

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I would add you should also check on local government requirements of you. For instance, will you need a license to throw the event? Are there noise ordinances (some places just have a time limit for noise, while others have very specific decibels you must remain under)? Will you need parking permits? Will you need to acquire event insurance (oftentimes rental properties will require this because they do not want to be liable if someone is injured on their property or if guests get food poisoning from self-catering). Make sure you find out everything required of you from both the rental property host, as well as your local government officials. You don't want your event getting shut down in the middle of your reception!

Despite what is/isn't allowed, it's worth exploring options outside of houses. The reason I say this is it is what you are describing is a ton of work. You sound realistic in knowing that you'll need to rent everything like tents/floor/cutlery/etc. but are you sure there isn't a venue that can also go with the vibe you're seeking? Even something that looks like a house but don't have to deal with the setup/takedown/literally everything yourself?

I had thought about doing the same but after adding up the costs of DIY everything plus the logistical aspects of setup and teardown, it ended up much easier to find a low-key venue.

Aside from legalities, two main things to consider are number of bathrooms and available parking. LBI isn’t exactly known for abundant parking. Also, 60 people is not a small event, so you would likely need a location with several bathrooms or bring in port-a-potties of some sort.


There are also all kinds of different event spaces, not just formal ballrooms. Look for venues like converted warehouses or factories. They typically have a cool industrial vibe which can match your 90s hip hop vibe. Some of them also don’t have in house catering. NY and NJ have tons of great event spaces that don’t fall into the cookie cutter hotel/country club ballroom.

Just came here to say, I love your 90s vibe. Maybe you can find a local Freestyle artist to perform. Any rentals in Long Island that suit you? Are you doing a full weekend of activities?

View Quoted Comment Hi! Thank you so much for the compliment! We weren’t planning on having anyone perform - we are excited about our playlist but will probably hire a DJ to scratch and be the MC - but if anyone wants to grab the mic and drop a few bars, they’re definitely welcome to!! Awesome idea! So far our plan is a private ceremony on the beach w just both sets of parents and us, then the reception the next day, and a Sunday brunch for whoever is still around!

View Quoted Comment Hi! Thank you for this feedback! Question, what kind of lowkey venue did you end up going with? I am running into some of the same issues that you mentioned - I haven’t found legality to be a particular issue, there is one municipality in LBI (Ship Bottom) where weddings in rented residential homes aren’t allowed, but they’re allowed in every other municipality I’ve checked. And several property owners have told me our event would be allowed, secured by a contract, their homes are insured for events etc - but the problem we are running into is our wedding is already getting too big for some of these houses 😂 at first I thought we’d do a super small guest list but we’ve gone over things and found there are so many family members we want to include that it may be impractical to use a house as a venue. Plus, there are so many added costs that bring the total much higher than I’d thought, whereas at first it was looking like a shore house would be WAY cheaper than renting a venue.


Having said that tho, we are very very hopeful of finding somewhere pretty but unpretentious, and also unconventional/unique where us and our guests will all be able to be ourselves, rather than be forced into an inauthentic super-formal vibe. My initial research all turned up places like hotels, golf courses, country club - all very much NOT who we are, so kinda disappointing! Do you (or anyone) have suggestions on any options that are more chill?

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I ended up finding a venue that had all-inclusive mini wedding packages. It may have even been called an "elopement package" but allowed up to 20 guests and included everything.

I saw a few things by Googling "Jersey Shore Micro Wedding" - give that a try