Jehovah witness help!

I have a cousin who married into the faith. Once she was married, any wedding in the family that was held in a church, she only went as far as the foyer. She only attended the wedding. The way she explained it, she can go to another church, but she cannot go into the Sanctuary.

I would invite them to the ceremony and the reception and let them choose how to handle the matter.

I am not JW. But I do know they have strict limitations on what is allowed and what is not. I do believe they have to stay out of areas of worship. AKA, they can be in the antechamber, but not in the sanctuary. They can celebrate you wedding, but not partake in your prayer/religious ceremonies.

I would ask them and see how to address this. i would hate for any guest of mine to "watch" from the back of the church. Honestly, you need to focus on YOUR faith. They can deal with their's.

FutureMrs.B, if that's the only option they have, then there's really nothing KirstenMichelle can do. She intends to invite them, but they have to make the decision for themselves.

Yes I agree with Mrs.B. I think they can watch but not participate, they will know what they can do. Also don't be surprised if they cannot come to a reception. I believe they forgo celebrations and holidays also.

They are all definitely invited and can attend the ceremony if they want. My sister said that the biggest issue would be my supposedly jehova witness father walking me down toward a Christian pastor in a Christian ceremony. I guess it's just hard because they would be coming to FL all the way from Tennessee. If my dad not waking me down means they will come for the ceremony, I might consider that, but he's paying for so much of our wedding and wants to walk me down since none of his other 3 daughters want him to due to his past behavior

I've been told by a JW friend (and I have no idea how accurate this is) that her faith is more based on what your conscious says is ok, and not necessarily a larger set of strict rules. Maybe this is why you're getting conflicting answers?

I am sure there is nothing wrong with him walking you down the aisle to your FH. Keeping his interaction to a minimum would work. I mean, JWs cannot ignore EVERYONE who isn't of their faith. They are allowed to communicate with them as long as they aren't receiving "sermon" or whatnot. He can give you to FH, and take a seat --- or head where is allowed to go. I think there is something he can do to not feel like he has to be standing on the outskirts of the wedding because of religious beliefs.

Misstomrs: that's an option.

Susan: they don't do holidays but a wedding reception isn't considered a holiday. They are fine with parties and celebrating. My grandmother's funeral "celebration of life" party was huge and she was the matriarch of the witness side of the family.

Thats interesting, because I have been told by some witnesses that they arent allowed to have parties or celebrations... Maybe there are different "denominations".. Idk. They will know what is best for their beliefs.

They don't do holidays because most of them started as Pagan holidays and Jesus wasn't born on the 25th of dec! They don't pledge allegiance to the flag because they don't believe they should pledge allegiance to anyone/anything BUT GOD! They can go to christian weddings, JWs are christian by the way, but they can't go into another denominations CHURCH. Most of them celebrate holiday's secretly anyways, just not to the extent that most do..lol I was raised JW, but haven't been to a Kingdom Hall in 10-15 years.

So I found this online and I think it might be worth considering. Maybe this will help your family, and you reach a solution. It does put things in perspective. In this case, this a student of JW asking if it was ok to attend a Pentecostal wedding:

"Remember 1 John 5:3 tells us that HIS commands are not a burden. you are not expected to make the same type of decisions that someone who's been dedicated and baptized for years would make. it is not reasonable for you to expect more of yourself then Jehovah does. he wants us to send him out of love and not follow a rigid set of written rules."

@Angie: Thank you for your first 2 sentences! Us Pagans love the occasional recognition! ;-D

Boy oh boy. When you get right down to it, most of every organized religion's rules are created by humans for some reason or another; political,social or economic. I"ll spare you a big theological debate which is not what you asked for, but honestly? It's your wedding, do what you want to do and let them be responsible for the limitations of their own faiths. I honestly don't know how your father is going to walk you to the altar but it seems like he's rejected his JW and if he likes to 'cheat' this is the perfect opportunity.

I have no advice, but I will tell you that those JWs aren't allowed to have any fun whatsoever. I wouldn't last 3 hours as a JW.

My grandfather is Jehovah's witness and is walking me down the aisle. We are having a Christian Ceremony. I honestly don't think you should "cater your ceremony" to your guests. Its about YOU and your FH.

I TOTALLY agree with Celia Milton!

Honestly if my dad wasn't contributing so much to our wedding expenses, he wouldn't be the one walking me. It is just my way of showing my appreciation... But given his past behavior, he doesn't really deserve it. Thanks everyone for the responses, especially Angie. Definitely helpful. The witness faith is so complicated to me because it is so new and there are so many variations to the rules. My siblings can choose to do what they want. I'm fine with them hanging in their room through the ceremony and just joining us for the reception. They are staying on the venue property with us so they can just walk over whenever they want and leave whenever. I know its going to be hard for them to be in the same room with our dad anyway. But I know they are coming and they are excited so I'm sure they will be okay with most of it. We won't be doing a prayer at the reception or anything so it should be fine.

Also, he abandoned his faith when he abandoned his first wife and kids (my half sisters) for the baby sitter (his second wife).

I was being snarky in my initial response, but I'm sorry you have to go through this. <<> Here's hoping it all works out.

Haha it's okay Karen. I completely agree! I almost converted when I was younger, but my mom told me she would disown me (but not really). The whole "disowning your family for making mistakes" is what she hated most about that faith.

It's also slightly different what is tolerated in different churches. They all base their beliefs off of the national "watchtower", but perception is a powerful tool, and not everyone's perception is the same. So what they are strict about can vary. Some say it's okay to drink, for instance, as long as you don't get drunk, others say it's not at all. Some kingdom halls request you "don't speak with others outside the faith", the 2 I went to were not like that. The only my aunt attended they told her not to talk to her family anymore because they play sports. They believe that you devote your life to Jehovah and shouldn't do ANYTHING but learn about the faith. And to be honest most are hypocritical! They say don't do something, but they do behind "closed doors" in secret.

Angie, while great insight into the faith, none of us has a good answer to Kirsten's question. Which I believe is, what should she do to make sure they can come and still be comfortable within their faith. Kirsten, I'm not sure there is anything you can do, except tell them that you love them, and therefore, how important it is for them to be there for you. You'd be amazed what some clear honesty can do for any situation.