Jealous Maid of Honor

What's going on in those meetings/discussions?

As for the bridal show - anyone can go. Why a non-bride would WANT to go is beyond me, but they're open to the public.

And how is she REALLY taking the enjoyable things away from you?

What meetings/discussions is she scheduling? If she wants to go to bridal shows, she's an adult, so she can do what she wants. There's nothing wrong you from going too, with or without her.

Well she basically gets upset with anyone else for talking to me about the wedding. She had a huge argument with her mom because she was recommending vendors to me. Her mom backed off big time. She has arranged meetings w my matron to plan things. How can you plan a wedding without the bride?

Yes, she is definitely an adult and can go wherever she wants. The issue is she tell others she's doing it for me but never told me, sent photos or nothing.

My MOH is excited; but is not taking over the wedding planning...this is kinda weird?!?

Ambrok I agree!!! It's so crazy to me.

Does she have a boyfriend her parents don't know about /approve of? It almost sounds like she's planning a secret wedding for herself

Why is she planning your wedding? Why aren't you telling her a) to back off; b) that's inappropriate. You need boundaries.

I'm dealing with a weird MOH as well. It's my oldest sister, and she is a MOH-Zilla. She has done a few things without me, like she took my mom dress shopping. Then she has also ordered things for me for the wedding, which sounds really nice, however I'm not digging it. It's decoration pieces that she did a run past me and expect me to use. Things that she likes better than what I've picked. Super effing weird.

Honestly, in my case it feels like she is living vicariously through me. She got married very very young, and her wedding was not the greatest because she didn't have the support of our folks. Now I feel like she's trying to compensate for that. Because I feel for her, it makes me feel less angry.

How old is she? This is nutty.

She's ten years older than me and is not in a committed relationship. Seriously doubt that she is planning a secret wedding. I definitely want to set boundaries and I will soon. She is always the victim so I'm trying to be cautious.

You need to learn the word "no" and use it liberally. I'm sorry, but I don't understand why you've let this go this far. I've told my own mother to back the fuck off when she starts getting pushy in my life. I just don't understand people who can't.

I'm wondering if she just thinks this is her responsibility. Like she was MOH to a crappy bride once, and now she thinks she's in charge of planning everything. At any rate, you're obviously close with her if she's your MOH. Sit down with her and explain that you're planning your own wedding, thanks!

Are you sure she's not planning a surprise for you? I don't understand why you seem to be assuming that she has bad intent.

Wait, maybe it's weird but why is it a problem? I'm pretty sure you are the one signing contracts and putting down deposits. How much control on your wedding can she really have?

I mean.. she can't REALLY plan the wedding without you. I doubt she's signing contracts and paying for vendors. Have you tried talking to her? Maybe set boundaries? advise her if she wants to help out she can do x, y, and z?

I'm with Jacks.

Sounds like maybe she's trying to get ideas for bridal showers or bachelorette parties.

You can get all kinds of free shit at bridal shows, so yeah, I might go too if I was planning one or two parties for someone getting married.

As far as her being upset with her mom for talking wedding with you, maybe she doesn't want you to get overwhelmed or she knows they're bad vendors etc?

Honestly it's weirder to me you're so suspicious and assume she's jealous.

Thank you for your opinion @Jacks @formalpajamas Unfortunately she didn't receive anything free at the event and none of the information was provided to me. Our wedding festival doesn't address bridal showers, etc. it's only vendors for weddings. She's told me to check off musicians because she reserved/booked them. I contacted them this morning to confirm and they have never communicated with her. Her mom wasn't overwhelming me at all. Help is help. She's claiming to do things that she hasn't been doing. If I would've believed her, there would be no music at my wedding. Also, she's not married and her mom only recommended 5 star vendors. Thank goodness I was suspicious or my wedding would be an epic fail.

I'm sorry, but I would confront her. Tell her she cannot under any circumstances make any wedding decisions without you, AND that you contacted those musicians and she didn't book them. It is definitely time to put the big girl panties on and have a talk with her. You'll end up doing double work if you let it continue. Rules, boundaries, and limitations!

Why is she helping you at all? You should be planning your own bloody wedding! Tell her to back off. The fact that you are so reticent to tell her to stop leads me to believe that you asked her for help and now that you feel she's overstepping. You shouldn't have asked her or anyone but your FH for help.