??Jealous Bridesmaid/Bestie:(??

You have wedding party meetings?! That's ridiculous.

Is she like this with you normally? Or just wedding stuff.

You have wedding party meetings? lolz

What is discussed during these wedding party meetings? Literally the only time I met with all my BM's at once was when they picked out their dresses.

If I were you I would stop discussing wedding details with her. She seems intent on stealing all your ideas, so don't let her know what you're doing.

When i say meetings I mean I won a makeover for all bridesmaids. ..she didn't come, I asked everyone to come to a store to pick out dresses and she didn't show...she has only been this way since I got engaged we were really close now she won't respond for days when I call or text

At the first thought I want to call troll, but Kierra's post and comment are actually NOT thought out to create drama as a troll's would be...she just used the wrong phrase for the "meeting." I call legit post...

Step 1 - If you are not a troll, change your avatar picture. If you leave it the two rings, you look like a troll.

Step 2 - I don't know what to tell you. You may just be reading too far into things and it's not as bad as you think. Or just don't tell her details. Problem solved. If she planned her wedding for the same day as your wedding, why does she think that she will be able to be in your wedding, still, and vice versa? You say you originally chose October but your date on here says December. So is she October and you are December?

Also, my oldest sister's MOH called monthly "bridal party meetings" where we met at a Panera by her house (not convenient to anyone else, even though she was not working at the time). So, bridal party meetings do happen...

I think I'm unclear about what you need from her. She seems to be choosing her level of involvement in the planning process...so leave the dress choosing and text messaging about your wedding to the bridesmaids who are interested in that. Other than showing up to support you on your wedding day, what exactly do you want her to be doing...and have you tried talking to her about it?

Thanks Maltese!..I couldn't explain in detail because you're limited to the amount of characters you can use

Why would she be in your wedding if you are both getting married on the same day?

In my mind, the day she set her wedding date for the same date you had set your wedding, she took herself and her FH out of your wedding (as well as basically taking you out of her wedding). Knowing if the wedding happened on the date you sent originally was also her wedding date she was ensuring that you would not be able to attend her wedding and she and her FH would be unable to attend your wedding. If it were me, I would tell her that it seems like she is trying to tell you she doesn't want to be in your wedding (actions speak louder than words) and that if that's the case she should let you know now. I would never ask someone to have a stand in ready "in case" someone wasn't going to be in your wedding. Why is she talking for him and if its not important enough for him to commit, I would just ask someone now rather than later.

Sounds like you're engagement lit a fire under her ass...and it gave her the motivation to make the plans she didn't make during two years of engagement: set a date, pick colors, find dresses, ect. Its shady she picked the date you were looking at without talking to you about it, but since you hadn't booked it there is nothing you can do now.

I'm not sure about why she wouldn't tell you about getting fitted or dress shopping, but like always, I say that nobody cares about your wedding as much as you do. Maybe you and her should go out for some cocktails together and steer the conversation towards wedding talk (you can lie about ideas if you're worried she will steal them) and see where the conversation goes. Technically she hasn't really done anything wrong....except for the date thing, that was shitty

ETA: I didn't realize YOUR date was set. I take everything back, she is a rotten friend. Take her out and ask her why she would set the date the same as yours....this reeks of the Bride Wars plotline...

Stop talking about your plans for your wedding. If she's stealing your ideas, just don't give her any ideas.

It was a shitty move to plan her wedding for a date you were thinking of, but technically you don't have a date until you book anything.

She doesn't have to do things like go to the bridal party makeover or to pick out dresses. If she doesn't want to look for it herself, pick out a dress for her (that's within her budget).

The groomsman on standby thing is just weird.

Does she answers your calls/texts that AREN'T about the wedding? If she's flat out ignoring you, it sounds like you have a friend problem, not a bridesmaid problem.

Troll Mode.

Ok. Let me see if I can help everyone understand. She is my best friend. I originally had my date in october but i changed it because she refused to change hers. I don't want to lose her as a friend but I want her to be a part of the whole process because we have been friends since kindergarten and her mom and my mom are be sties too. I don't know what a troll is either I just haven't put up a pic yet! I want her to be part of everything all I want her to do is be supportive as I am with her. What I want to know if you had a really good friend and she was acting this way, would you guys keep her in your wedding party? Oh before I forget, she talks on the phone with me for an hour about her wedding plans, when I bring up mine she finds a reason to hang up the phone

OK...if you changed your date then YOU are a good friend. Honestly, if my good friend was acting like this, I would call her out on it. Everything I would have let slide and just put into the category that we are both planning weddings and bound to busy and overlap ideas. But the date thing was just wrong.

How old are you?

ETA: Also, if she is such a close friend, you should be able to talk to her about this stuff. If you are that concerned about how she is treating you, then I can't see why the friendship should continue. I don't stand for people who don't treat me decently. Too short of a life to mess with people who aren't nice.

One of my bridesmaids is one of my best friends. She really wasn't excited about my wedding at all and wouldn't even talk about the wedding (even when we were around other people and they asked about my wedding). I got the feeling like she didn't want to be part of it and I asked her point blank whether she wanted to be in the wedding or not and she said she did. She got her dress (she was the first person to order her dress. I gave the a color and let them choose their own dresses) and she was at the wedding when I asked her to arrive ready to go. I just had to accept that she didn't want to hear about the wedding and that she wasn't going to be interested in the details. I was happy to find WW (and the forums) as this became my outlet when I wanted to talk about the wedding.

I stand by what I said, I think she was sending a message in choosing to set her date on the date you chose, Again, I would replace her FH because if he can't give a firm commitment to be in your wedding I wouldn't want to take a chance with that. I would just pick a dress and tell her when she needs to order her dress.

Okay, you changed your picture, so it's not likely you are a troll. Sorry. Any time I hear the word "bestie" and using too many punctuation marks it makes me think of a 14 year old. Sorry, I just don't like the word!

I mean, it sounds like she's not being a friend at all. So say that you will have to have her step down since they aren't certain they can attend. But, as I tell everyone else, if this person was your good enough friend to make MOH then she should certainly be a good enough friend that you can have a conversation with her. So go talk to her about it and see what's going on. It's true that no one cares about your wedding as much as you do. Not that people don't care, it's just only the center of the world for the couple and that's it. Other peoples' lives happen, too.