I've lost all contact with my maid of honor

You probably came on here and posted the same issue thinking you were going get sympathy and a bunch of ooo noo poor you, your MOH is a bitch. Huh?

The way I see it is you both screwed up. This is the main reason we always say use professionals

You should've said to your MOH. "Hey thanks for offering but if you're too busy I completely understand, btw sil also offered to do them I can ask her if you can't" she probably got butthurt bc she felt you replaced her. Call her talk to her as adults, tell her the screwing with you at work is uncool. If she still is acting like this, then its time to take it up to HR

Self-reflection is good. Based on your old post I think you were expecting too much of her, but to me it sounds like either a) she is way overdramatic or b) you did something you're not telling us to seriously mess up your relationship. I agree that bringing the issue to work is not ethical.

Try to talk to her first, go to HR with the issue if it continues, let some time pass, and maybe things will calm down. I wouldn't be surprised if this is the end of your friendship though.

Yea I lost my maid of honor after she did something horrible...people forget that our wedding is something that we only get to do once...others get caught up in their own emotions and forgot about us...we see a lot of selfishness when weddings come about from the bride to the brides maid...you don't want someone standing next to you that has any bad feelings..it's time to move on and don't worry about having a "maid of honor" just worry about your wedding and everything will fall into its place

It definitely sounds like there is more to the story than just pictures. However, I agree with Laura that she probably feels like you replaced her.

You really need to stick up for yourself and go talk to her. Be up front and honest and figure out what the actual problem is because she cannot sabotage your job. If she doesn't listen and continues or it gets worse then go to HR immediately.

Thinking about it now I should of never asked her to be a big part of my wedding. My maid of honor is 30, she lives with her mother still, is constantly at the bars, and is always going to events, concerts, and etc. I know people have their own lives I get it but at the same time I thought I could count on her because of how well she plans and how organized she is.

What plans did you want her to make? Plans to wear a dress and stand up next to you? Anything beyond that is not necessary.

What else were you expecting her to do?

ETA: How she lives her life is none of your business and has nothing to do with her being a MOH.

@Mikayla one thing to remember, you posted on a public forum asking for advice so it is going to be impossible to control the responses you receive. The tone of a message in a typed medium such as this (emails, text messages, etc) is generally determined by the recipient. So while you may feel like you are being attacked, that may not have been the intention of the author of the message. I'm going to level with you, you both are two adults acting like dramatic teenagers. Try to talk to your MOH, apologize to her and tell her that you are sorry if you hurt her feelings. If she screams and yells, then I would walk away and end the conversation. Do not entertain that sort of behavior.

As far as what has gone on at work, I would speak with her boss or your HR department. Regardless of what is going on between you personally, it is unacceptable that she is bringing those issues to work. Your employer needs to know that this is happening so they can deal with it appropriately. Try to gather any and all documentation you have to back up your claims and give a copy to your employer.

And lastly, hire professional vendors for your wedding. Yes, using people you know may save money but its issues like this that can result. The extra money you spend on a professional is well worth your piece of mind and departure from the drama that can come from using friendors.

You have gotten a lot of good advice from here. Take a step back and give yourself a moment to get over the feeling of being attacked. You may find once you do you will be able to handle the advice you have been given here more objectively.

What else was I expecting her to do? Well she talked about getting together when the time gets closer to make decor items, come with me to my floral appointment, go to Chicago and look at all the wedding shops. This was all of her ideas not mine. I mean when we were on good terms we'd go on lunch dates and talk about the wedding she was always there to help me with colors decor and helping me find my venue and etc.

Sorry, but she's not obligated to help you with anything. All that's she's required to do is get her dress and show up to the wedding. Even though she did offer to help, it sounds like she had a change of heart; again she's not obligated to help.

I just never thought I'd be placed in this situation and I'm just very overwhelmed and upset. Like what person has the heart to do this to someone else. Especially someone I thought was such a good friend. There is so much to the story I mean she told my fiancé that she will not walk down the aisle with a skinny man because she's heavier. She flat out told him that his best man needs to be heavier set like her and that's not fair.

Mikayla, search through past threads on here regarding bridesmaids and you'll find that you're not the only person to have had this problem. It shitty, but it happens.

Fuck the wedding. Your working hours have been cut, your vehicle has been taken away and your boss is tinkering with your timesheets. It sounds like you're in serious danger of losing your job, and you need to act on that.

Get to HR or a higher boss immediately, and document what's happened. Photograph your time sheets before each submission and keep the copies. Act every single time you notice an alteration. Is the car included in your contract? Set hours? Are you a member of a union?

You don't need a MOH. You definitely need a job. Deal with THAT.

Holy cow. This is "Don't Use Friendors, Nuclear Version". You see what can happen? It doesn't just affect your personal life, it can affects your professional life, your financial life, and your transportational life.

DON'T USE FRIENDORS!

And don't hide this thread, OP. People need to see this, even if the majority will probably say, "It won't happen to me", maybe one or two will realize that it can and does happen to someone.

So, you've gotten a lot of great advice on your MOH situation, but I wanted to touch on something you said in a comment. "I have ADD and when someone approaches me in a non calm manner I back off become emotional and shut down and don't know what to say."

Based on this comment, I strongly recommend therapy to develop these strategies. It is immensly helpful for you to build these tools, as not everything in life is going to come at you in a calm manner. They may also be able to help you navigate the situation with your MOH as well.

TALK TO HER!?

You need to forget about her being MOH. ..but have a talk to her about work if it doesn't help go to HR

Go back and re-read Delphina's post. Your problems are bigger than your MOH/wedding.

You say you want positive affirmation, but I don't know what to say honestly because I don't know both sides of the story. Something must have happened to prompt being blocked on social media.

Leave her alone. She doesn't want anything to do with you.

Hire people, don't get friends to help with the wedding. That's asking for disaster.

If I were you, I'd just let her go from the MOH stuff. The fact that she's doing all of these things is more than something a talk can fix, especially the work stuff. It's all extremely unprofessional ... not to mention potentially illegal! I agree with Delphina on this one because the work situation seems very tenuous and unacceptable.

Thank you everyone for the advice. Much appreciated.