"It's Your Day"

I agree, it’s definitely our day. My FH has very minimal interest in anything wedding related, but I still keep him in mind for everything. I ask his opinions frequently, even when I know I’ll just get “whatever makes you happy” in response. It’s not “my day,” because it’s not about me, it’s about us and our family (we already have two kids together). I look at it this way, without him there would be no wedding to plan. Happy planning!

My fiance is very involved in the planning and has a ton of his own opinions. It's his day too.

I joke about that a lot ahaha I always joke with my husband before that "k don't make this about you" ahahaha just jokingly. Mine was helpful when I assigned him tasks and he was always willing to help or ask if I'd like his help

My FH's family does this a lot and it really bothers me. When FH brings things up (like the church we are having our ceremony in, which HE chose by the way, I didn't care about having a church), his mom and brothers are like well, it's HER day, so you have to go along with it! It really annoys me, especially because they kinda make it seem like I am the only one wanting to spend the money, which is definitely not the case. I have a great relationship with his family over all, but this annoys the crap out of me!

Yes, its extremely annoying. Even people I wouldn't expect to feel like that (some of his family) have mentioned that. My fh doesn't care about most things, but when he does have an opinion, I definitely go with what he wants to have it be a representation of us and not just me.

Yeah I've been correcting "Your day" to "Our day" from
Day 1 - it really surprised me that even FMIL said it!!

That said, I will confess to having wished a couple of times that FH didn't have an opinion on stuff, it would be way easier at times 😂 I mean not really, I'm glad he's interested, but you know what I mean!

Hey!
I have heard this so much! And he even thinks it too, but I don’t want it to be all about me. He is getting stressed out with it all, too many options, fear of what people will think, etc. So I am planning everything, but asking his thoughts on final options before I proceed.
I was hoping he’d be more a part of the planning, because he such good taste, but I understand its overwhelming for him and just fun for me.

Eh, I don’t find it annoying at all really, or pay it any thought. He’s not interested in planning at all. On occasion, he has an idea or an opinion, but it’s pretty much just me planning it all. I have found every vendor and have been the only one dealing and communicating with them. He just needs to find something to wear, and show up.

I've legitimately had family and friends ask me why I ask my FH's opinion so much. I'm not a typical girl and never had wedding ideas or dreams as a kid. My FH is in the banquet and events industry by profession. He's literally helped to coordinate hundreds of weddings this year alone and has a college credits in event planning. In reality he's helping with or even doing most of the wedding planning. So we both get super annoyed when I'm talking to his parents and they're hounding me about some little detail about the wedding and I say something like "I don't know. I'll ask Brandon later". It's like they all assume that just because I'm a girl I know more about weddings than him. My family laughs or rolls their eyes whenever I say anything about his input on the wedding decisions or ideas we've come up with as a team. They have made rude comments like, "Why couldn't you have gotten a normal guy who just shows up". or "Yea but if you want something he doesn't wants it's really "your" day sweety". It's super rude but they all think they're being funny or playful.

We’ve actually had the opposite problem. Since I’ve been married before and FH hasn’t, some of his family members have made comments about how I already had my day and it should be all his way since he won’t be doing it again. It’s rude, but FH and I know where we stand on planning it to be our day so I try to ignore it.

Absolutely! my Finance and I went to a wedding expo together where he was practically ignored by every vendor. Everyone would say 'congratulations' to me and not him although he was next to me. I believe that this is an exciting day for BOTH of you, and its about a commitment that both of you are choosing to make, so you both should have opinions that value equally.

My fiance may not be super involved (shocker!) but it's still very much so OUR day. Even though 9 out of 10 times my FH will still tell me I don't know or I don't care, I still tell him everything because he might actually end up having an opinion on something so I wouldn't want to assume. We should BOTH be happy with what our day will look like and consist of.

I can't stand it when people tell me FH's opinions don't matter for our wedding!!! I almost always dead-faced say "it's his wedding too." I think the dead-face is what's helped me stop most of the comments like that sadly, and not the fact that it is his day as well. Like people would rather not deal with my reaction instead of thinking about what I'm trying to tell them. People think grooms don't care, but really, they do care, at least about some of it, and are trained to just "yes dear" on weddings

I've asked for FH's opinion on almost everything (except my dress of course) and even though about 50% of the time he says he doesn't care, the rest of the time he at least has a suggestion or a thought or a "Oh I like that, yes do that". He may not do as much planning, but I want our day to feel like Our day to him too, not just the day we get hitched

Yup. FH has chosen a few things that make me go 😬😬😬😬 but it’s his wedding too so it’s happening. A whole roasted pig will be wheeled out and served at dinner (with other options!) and we will have a bobble head topper of us on our cake. 😬😂 The one idea I vetoed right away was having a friend take pictures for us. Not a photographer friend. Just a friend.

All. The. Time. I honestly hate it and when venues or vendors do this I internally cringe and roll my damn eyes. I am SO over the whole "my day, my way" mentality society has for brides.
My venue coordinator does it now and again and we both politely laugh it off or I'll even gently nudge the conversation with an "actually it's OUR" or "well OUR" but I mostly let it go because he's a sweet guy and I know he means well.
Any other vendors or venues who said it (especially on a first meeting/contact) got removed from the pool of options lol.