It's Rude

She told my aunt that it's strange I did not invite her to my wedding. My aunt told her that she will peak to me. She said if paying for plate is a problem not to worried that she will pay for her plate. I told her I have limited space. She then said she don't see a problem since my cousin wife isn't going and my uncle. I am so upset. How you expect me to invite this woman if I only seen and met her 2 times in my life. I saw her last yr so within a yr she don't know how I been or my kids, How do you expect to be invited to a wedding where you aren't even close to the bride or groom.

I find it so damn rude where family think is OK to invite to a wedding you aren't even paying. Even the consideration of hey 2 people aren't going. Do you have guest you want to invite and if you don't then you make a suggestion. Not even my mother have asked me to invite such and such. I am just so like ewwww who does that.I didn't gave both family any permission to invite no one since it's a small intimate wedding with 50 guest which we are paying for. Why would it give anyone permission to invite or even asking. I guess no one reads my wedding website.

Either way it doesn't matter about space or price it's YOUR wedding. If she's not invited then she's not invited! Wtf

Do not invite people to your wedding because so and so says so. I am so over people trying to pull this crap. When they have THIER wedding, they can invite whomever they want.

This is your wedding. As for sister...she can pound sand! Do not invite her friends so she has a drinking / partying buddy! Ugh.

Family inviting other family seems to be a theme lately! Basically, you are not obligated to invite them. I think it was a good choice of words to say you'd speak with your fiancé, and then just leave it at that. Don't invite them

You don't have to invite anyone you don't personally want to have at your wedding.

Thanks I was just so disgusted how she approach it. Like oh the two plates are reserve umm no wtf. If two people don't go I can invite another two people whom DF and I want. Not someone we both aren't even close to. She isn't even my family. I have read numerous of post of family inviting people but I never thought it would happen to me since my family is very small.

DF has a huge family and he didn't even suggested any family members. Only his parents are invited. I know he said he wants to invite his aunt but he's waiting to see how she feels cause she isn't in good health but I am leaving most of it up to him since I got all my family and friends whom I want there. So if two of my family isn't going it's up to DF who he chooses. I am just like wtf I didn't even expected that kind of video chat. I thought it was to tell me something about her.

"Auntie, I don't even know her!"

And yes, it is very rude for people to assume that seats are there to just be filled. That's not how it works. People are invited for a reason.

I feel the same way. Just because someone declines, it does not open a space for someone I never considered. They act like cost of plate is the only reason I didn't invite people when in reality I didn't invite them because I have no emotional attachment to them

Sorry, obviously you opened a fresh wound lol

I've had that happen! people just ask out of the blue "I'm invited to your wedding, right"?? or "Are we invited"?? Ugh how can people be so rude!

I would be soooo embarrassed to do that! I would never!

Ive also had people assuming they can invite other people... single people assume they can bring a plus 1... we've had it all... I'm sick of it! The problem is that I also find it that saying a straight out NO makes me look like a B***CH LOL

@Brittany

omg yes that what I say. If DF and I aren't even close to you why would we even invite you. That's even rude to even consider this person isn't going so maybe this person can fill the spot. She then said your father isn't going. I said I know he isn't even invited.

@found my prince

Yes I have been asked by a friend am I invited yet we don't know each others life like that. OMG exactly if I say straight up no I would look like a bitch. I was just so taken back I really had no respond. I told her she caught me in the wrong time cause the kids just got home from school so I am dealing with HW and cooking.

I don't know about this. It seems your aunt is traveling for your wedding? Is it very far? Maybe she's concerned about traveling that far by herself and wants someone to go with her since her husband can't go. If you have room, it would be a nice gesture to let her have somebody come with her. But if she lives nearby, she can just deal with it. There will be other relatives there for her to hang out with.

Ugh. I just got a text today from one of FH's old friends who he NEVER spends time with saying "I know y'all are limited on invites but i'm planning on crashing your wedding." I didn't respond.

YOU are in full control of who you invite and they are being rude. I feel like people forget that this is a wedding and not a party/family reuinion

@AwkwardToBe

My aunt lives in Florida and I live in NJ. She will be traveling with my cousin who also lives in Florida. His wife is staying behind cause the kids start school in August and no one to take care of the kids. My other cousin and his wife is also traveling from Texas. All of them will be staying with my uncle's cousin. When I spoke to my cousin a few months back he told me they were going to stay in a hotel but now my aunt called me saying they staying at my uncle's cousin's house. My aunt, cousin my other cousin and his wife are invited to my wedding. My other aunt that lives in NJ with my two cousins are coming. Both aunts are sisters.

@KE

Exactly it's a wedding not a damn party. I always thought a wedding is to celebrate the union of the bride and groom their love Not invite people who aren't close to the bride and groom.

DONT INVITE PEOPLE YOU DONT WANT COMING. My MIL forced us to invited my BIL and SIL to our wedding (who we weren't speaking to at the time). We finally caved in after her tenth mental breakdown and invited them. Their plates cost $120 each and SIL ended up not even coming. MIL got an earful at the reception and we now have bigger issues with them.

You're so right, this is super rude!! I also don't understand why anyone would want to go to some person's wedding they barely know!! I would feel bored and awkward because I didn't know anyone there! Its so odd to me!

@Veronica

I don't talk to my FMIL but when we did last time it turned ugly. I asked if the PILs are putting any money because this was something I didn't want to hear. I feel if you aren't paying for the wedding you have no say. PILs said they aren't chipping in so guess what your big family isn't invited. I only have 16 family members. The rest are close friends of mine. DF only invited his parents the rest are his close friends. My mom's sister (my aunt) passed away 4 yrs ago and my uncle. If they didn't pass away they would of been invited but I mean my aunt doesn't consider that it's my DF wedding as well and maybe he want to invite his aunt and uncle or anyone he wanted to. WTF

@annakay511

Exactly my point. Why would my aunt even consider suggesting my uncle's cousin who lives in my state just different county whom I am not even close to. She isn't part of my family. She is related through my uncle not my aunt or else that would be my father's cousin. My aunt knows my family. I mean she has her kids my sister whom she is very close with my other aunt who is her sister and my mom. So it's not like she will not know anyone. Maybe it's just me but I would never in a million yrs be consider to be invited to a wedding that I am not close to the bride or groom. Eww to call and tell me that the cousin to take my uncle's place just was so tacky to me,

Even with my sister I told her that her friend isn't invited and that she's her friend not mine. She said that she's always with our family. I said yes cause she invites her. I don't. Her friend had a dinner party 2 weeks ago and didn't bother inviting me. My sister said IDK why you even say that cause it's not you would go. I said that's not even the problem it's the thought of the invite that counts. I rather invite my friend's mother. Every summer my friend invites us to her mom's house for BBQ. I had her in my list for that. Just in case someone declines.

My mom told me most of her friends knows I am getting married and not once she asked me if her friend could come or not. She told me today it's your wedding and you spend your day with whoever you want cause this day will be a memorable day for you with all your family and close friends. Not someone who you see once and never see that person again. Then when you go back to your wedding video and can't remember the person cause you never had contact with them. She told me

"You can't please everyone! Someone will always be not happy. Someone will talk shit so do as you wish" It's your and DF and your kids day. This is about yous 4"

When you say "no", don't offer any reasons, otherwise people will have a way around the excuse. Just say "No, we can't accommodate your request". If they ask "why", then say "the subject is not open for discussion".

Ohhh. I was confused with all the aunts and cousins listed in your OP. Yeah, you definitely don't have to invite the uncle's cousin then. Your aunt should be fine without the uncle's cousin. She has plenty of people to be with. Stick to your guns.