Is this your second engagement or marriage? How does it feel different from the first?

This is my second marriage. I cant say I regret my first marriage because I wouldn't have my daughters, but I will say that I should have ended it alot sooner than it did. It was a marriage where I was really young and had terrible self esteem and felt like I had to get married because maybe no one else would want to marry me. That being said this wedding that I am planning now feels so different. I am so in love with my FH and I cant wait to marry him and share our lives together.

View Quoted Comment So happy for you! I didnt Have children in that relationship but It was similar in the low self esteem. It’s amazing how a good self worth can change everything! Congrats!

This is my second engagement and second marriage. This engagement and wedding planning is a complete 180 from my first. My first engagement came 4 days after we met. I was not ready, but it was something I "thought"I wanted, even if it was with a person that I was not in love with. The wedding planning for wedding #1 was not completed by me, I was able to pick my dress and that was it. I felt like I was on a train that I couldn't get off of. The day before my wedding a true tragedy struck, my mother and my first husbands mother were in a terrible car accident. My mother walked away, while his Mom was killed instantly. I couldn't back out, not after this terrible incident. I was grieving and not ready to get married but there was no turning back. My first father in law ordered that the wedding was to go forward because my first mother in law had put so much work and money into the wedding before the accident (she was coming back from decorating when the accident happened). It was an awful wedding...so sad and bleak. The marriage lasted 7 years and ended in bitterness and resentment.

My second engagement came (finally) after 4 years of dating and living together...and I can't marry this man soon enough. I have enjoyed every aspect of wedding planning, apart from telling people they are not invited, but that comes with the territory. I feel relaxed and that I am doing this for the right reason because I am truly in love with this man. I don't have the guilt of getting married because someone else was paying the bill and I don't feel like the rest of my life is going to suck..nor am I thinking of ways to get away from the person I am marrying. Hopefully the wedding day will go smooth and not be cursed by a similar tragedy as my first.

Ladies I know that wedding planning can be stressful, but honestly no one is going to remember or notice the things that are insignificant. Thing like napkin colors or how your hair is styled honestly do not matter. My first wedding was stained in tragedy but it taught me to be humble and really appreciate the people in my life because no one is guaranteed a tomorrow.

View Quoted Comment Thank you!!

Third time being engaged , havent been married yet.
First one the relationship was terrible/abusive but I stuck around hoping for change plus it felt right since I was with child when I was proposed to. But i called off everything for fear of safety plus I just realized it was a foolish idea to stick with a man that didnt treat me well from the beginning.
Second time I was proposed to I was doing it for kids again, the guy I was with had kids that where in foster care because his ex lost them and with me being stable,having full custody of my son and such. The system was willing to start possibly give custody back. But the guy decided he wanted to cheat and start drugs. I couldn't allow that around my son or his children so I called off the engagement.
Third time obviously currently lol I heard if love at first site but never knew what it was until I met my now f.h. He built me back up from being torn down so much, showed he cared and has stuck by me through all my health issues. The biggest thing for me was he respected my son and welcomed him. He has children of his own that he has full custody of too. Hes much more stable than the other clowns I threw time away on. We just clicked from the time we met. I finally met a decent man, that i'm head over heels for.

View Quoted Comment Oh My!!! That is like a story you will see on lifetime! That had to be extremely tough! Im glad to see that this experience in much better for you!

2nd marriage, completely different. First marriage we were both incredibly young and not ready. I don't regret it though. I know it taught us both valuable lessons and we have our beautiful daughter to show for it.

This one is IT though. Our relationship is so easy but never boring. I never knew a relationship could be so easy and rewarding. I was always told if you don't have to work for it, it's not worth it. May be true in some cases, but not in ours. We'll have been together for 3 years by the time we Marry next year, and I'm so excited to marry him. It helps that all his family is in the wedding business so I really don't have to plan much! Huge relief. I planned my entire first wedding on a $3k budget. Congrats to all you ladies who had to give a second (or more!) Try like me and finally found your match!

This is my second engagement and first marriage. The first time I was engaged I was 21 and I know it was a codependent relationship and we argued all the time. He was selfish and I was controlling. I also couldn’t get a job in his town after college and he refused to move out of his parents house. So I left and I’m so glad I did! I mean I did love him for a long time and no hard feelings but we weren’t right for each other and definitely not at a good point in our lives for each other. He’s married now and I’m so in love with my fiancé I wouldn’t trade it for the world. You live and you learn.

2nd engagement 1st marriage. Completely different from anyone else we were 25 (well he was 26). He passed away before any planning really started (beyond where we wanted to get married/ wedding party and reception.)

second time around is honestly super surreal. I have an amazing man who stands by me even while holding events in memory of my first fiancé.

View Quoted Comment So beautiful!! This was love at first site for me too! It was like I heard a voice whisper in my ear “that her! She’s the one”! I didnt Believe before but I surely do now!

View Quoted Comment Awe! So sweet!! It’s crazy how different relationships can be! I’m loving these stories! They’re like full of hope and love!

View Quoted Comment I agree!! Thank Goodness for learning and growing!

View Quoted Comment Oh wow sorry to hear that! I’m glad you were able love again FH sounds like a great guy too!

Second marriage.

My first I think I was doing because he was good to me and I felt I should. I just want in love and we weren't completely compatible

This time I feel guilty don't all the wedding stuff again. The relationship is completely different though. My fiance is truly my partner and best friend. We always talk about how we are a team.

I think I had to go through the first to learn what I truly need in a relationship.

View Quoted Comment Yeah, not that I take pride but the story was in a tabloid and is still on the internet. Did I mention I moved from the US to the UK for my first marriage so add that onto everything else. My first marriage was "character building" from start to finish.

Second engagement, first marriage here as well. They are entirely different worlds. THIS IS GONNA BE LONG.

The first engagement was pretty terrible. I often felt like the only one who wanted to move forward was me, and he'd do just enough to keep me on the hook. It took him 8 months to introduce his family to me (after saying he wanted to introduce me... so he wanted to introduce me, but it still took 8 months to coordinate a phone call between us). I told him several times not to propose unless he meant it. I was going through a lot of stuff at the time and he simply wasn't where I needed him to be. He knew I was at my limit so he rush ordered a ring at the last minute and threw a half-baked proposal together. For some reason I keep thinking about some roses he got before he "proposed" (it was barely a proposal at all, he didn't ask me anything)--they were dying and in an old paper bag in the car and it was just... so anticlimactic and lacking any care or follow-through? The entire relationship was lacking care and follow-through from him. We were engaged for 3 months, during which he never told his family. We couldn't even talk about a wedding because he had a million excuses. I broke it off and he called me a few times expecting me to come back to him. He'd tell me his sad life stories so that I'd feel bad for him and he'd wait silently on the phone as if expecting me to say I'm sorry let's be together again, but instead I told him the truth: "This is what you put me through for months. I tried to tell you how depressed I was, I tried to communicate with you, I tried to show you, I tried to tell you over and over again. The worst part of all this is I know you heard me but you didn't care enough to do anything. I cared for myself and moved on now."

I didn't realize it back then but I was settling big time. There was no romance, there was no chemistry. I don't know why I stayed there.

Now is entirely different. Things are so different I honestly can't believe how lucky and blessed I am. My FH is literally a man from beyond my wildest dreams. He opened his whole world to me when I was still re-learning how to trust. This man wanted his family to meet me in the first 2 months together. He was ready to meet my parents right away. Maybe to everyone else that sounds crazy but he demonstrated so much genuine trust in me when I was feeling like I couldn't trust anyone. He made me laugh, he made me spend time with him, he followed through with every single thing he said. There were so many times I had to stop and think, "He told me he'd do this for me... and he actually did. How do I respond?" On rainy days he holds me tight with him, under his umbrella, and he walks me to my car. He reaches over and holds my hand at every opportunity. He brought his entire family to my home to formally ask my parents for my hand in marriage. This was so incredibly respectful to my parents, and so incredibly endearing to me. And later he took me to the restaurant where first met and he had planned out a surprise proposal with the engagement ring in the dessert. I cried when I found it. I cannot express how deeply in love with him I am, or how lucky I am to have him in my life.

And to think, I was about to cancel our first date. Now we are getting married in just a very few short months and I cannot wait to spend my life with him. I'm not even sweating any of the small stuff (or honestly even the big stuff although I probably should be paying more attention!) because I know that at the end of the night I'll be married to him and nothing makes me happier.

Dessert proposal

View Quoted Comment Awe!!! That was a sweet proposal!! Congratulations!

View Quoted Comment Yes! My first engagement was such a learning experience from start to finish! I learned what I wanted And needed in a relationship as well as who I was/am as a person!

2nd marriage for me. We were together a total of 4 years 1 of those being married. It ended because he got a coworker pregnant. I thought our relationship was great but I was so blind! He was a momma's boy and that's all he wanted was someone to take care of him. Nothing was ever good enough. Daily tasks always turned into a fight. Especially about money.

With my current FH things are great. Every thing bills, chores, cooking, shopping are all split down the middle. We are open about things that bother us with out getting hurt or fighting...like him chewing his nails and me critiquing his cleaning methods. It's a true partnership and I can't wait to see where it grows.

I know I definitely learned from my first marriage but I still wish it never happened. I feel bad if I have to say oh can't pick that song or that decoration because I did that for the practice wedding. It's hard when people talk bad about divorce and 2nd weddings. It makes me feel guilty. Even though I know it's not my fault and it's more common.

This will be my second marriage. I got married when I was 21 and I tried to make it work for so long, but it was just awful. He pretty much changed the moment I moved to England to be with him. By that point I had spent all of money to move there so I was trapped for a long time. We ended up staying married for just under 8yrs. It was a really bad marriage and I was in a very dark place.

When I finally had the courage to end it, I didn’t think I would be able to open my heart completely again.

Enter my FH.

I knew the moment I saw him that I needed to get to know him. And it didn’t take long for me to realize I was going to fall in love with him. I kept waiting to feel scared and nervous. I felt that I should be worried about getting into another bad marriage. But those feelings never came. My FH is amazing and he was very patient with me while I worked out my issues.

He never thought about marriage before me and we never really talked about it. When he asked me I was completely surprised. But I knew the answer instantly.

I’m 33 now. So I’m a lot older than I was the first time I got married. I know who I am now. I was still figuring that out the first time. I feel very confident going into this marriage, last time I was pretty scared. I feel like I’m finally going home after being lost for 10+ years.

And as for the wedding, the things that are important to me are very different this time around. My first wedding was a big one that my dad paid for. It was very much his day. My ex was drunk by the time I walked down the aisle and was wasted by the reception. He ignored me most of the night and sat with his mother who was going through a tough time. Then he passed out early and left me to clean gather up all of the stuff from the venue and bring it to our room. He wasn’t even awak enough to help me out of my dress. So I spent the night sitting on the floor, in my gown, going through cards, while watching CHiPs on TV. It was not a good night.

This wedding though, we are paying for ourselves. It is 100% our dream wedding. The groom is very involved and is loving the whole planning process. He keeps saying how excited he is. We’re also only inviting our closest friends and just immediate family. We only want people there who we are actually close with.

Oh, and I didn’t take a honeymoon with the first marriage but we are taking an amazing one this time.

Overall, I just have a better idea of what my priorites are this time around. I’m not nervous or scared for the future. I’m just happy and excited!