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Lydia
Beginner September 2019

Is this too much for a wedding dress?

Lydia, on May 27, 2019 at 12:12 AM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 33

Hey y'all, September bride here! Recently my family paid for the rest of my wedding dress, and while I'm super stoked about it, something my future mother-in-law told me has been bugging me for a while now.

Let me start with this: ever since we got engaged, this is the dress I've been looking for and wanting. I finally found it at a cute local boutique, fell in love as soon as I put it on, and I didn't look back. The total (without alterations) ended up being roughly $1700. (I have included a link to a video featuring the dress: https://youtu.be/FlMqaGfWFcI )

At the time, I didn't think it was too much, since my grandma and I had a set budget of less than $2000. However, when I told my fiance's mother about the price, she said she'd beat the **** out of me (her words, not mine) for paying that much for it, and that I'd look good even in a paper bag, but I didn't need to pay that much for something I'd only wear once.

Now, I've got very bad anxiety (GAD), and ever since she said that, I've been depressed just thinking about it. And now that I'm looking at similar looking dresses that are less than $500, I'm more depressed about it and have since been this way for a few weeks. Tell me, is she right? Should I have gone cheaper? Like seriously, I've cried about it and it's gotten so bad to the point I want to postpone the wedding because of money...

33 Comments

Latest activity by Sarah Eliza, on May 28, 2019 at 5:36 PM
  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
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    Your FMIL is not paying for your dress - your grandmother is. And since your grandmother set a budget, you respectfully found a dress under that. If you grandma has no issue paying for it, FMIL is just gonna have to accept it! Some people just love griping about anything. Don't feel bad, girl Smiley smile

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  • Lydia
    Beginner September 2019
    Lydia ·
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    Thanks for your reply, Cher. I really do try not to feel bad about it, because my family has assured me that it's okay, but I can't help it, ya know? My fiance was MAD when I finally told him what his mom said, and he confronted her about it, too. Not sure that made things better, but it's all good. Again, thanks for your reply. I really appreciate the comfort. Smiley smile

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  • Courtney
    Master December 2019
    Courtney ·
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    The budget and decision was made by you and your grandmother and that needs to be respected. When I bought my dress, my mom offered to pay and I wouldn't let her. I argued that we never discussed numbers and I didn't feel right letting her pay.

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  • Lydia
    Beginner September 2019
    Lydia ·
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    That's awesome that you were able to pay for your own dress! I was going to do that as well, but 1) my grandmother fought me over it, lol, and 2) I was forced to pay the rest of my school bill because my mother flopped.

    Thank you for your comment and for listening. It's just rather hard because she's never treated me this way before. I only showed her the dress, and she was in love with it just as much as I was. But the price made her change her mind, apparently.

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  • Wendy
    Super August 2021
    Wendy ·
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    Honestly, to each it’s own. I personally can’t see myself spending that much on a dress I will only wear once.. I plan on staying at $500 tops... as other people have stated, she’s not paying for your dress and as such she should respect your dress and how much you chose to spend on it.. if you love the dress and you’re fine with the price tag then forget everyone else’s opinion.. is your daySmiley smile so enjoy it!!! And stick to your guts don’t let someone else pressure or question your decisions/choices!!
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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    $1,700 is fine! And especially since your family’s budget was $2,000. That’s none of your FMIL’s beeswax and shame on her for her negative comments. Keep your dress. You love it and deserve to feel beautiful on your wedding day. ❤️
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  • Simone
    Devoted April 2020
    Simone ·
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    Dont feel bad. No one should be counting your (grandma's) money. Don't share financial info with anyone going forward because people everyone always has something to say. Lovely dress!
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  • Victorian Bride
    Master April 2023
    Victorian Bride ·
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    Amen!! ❤❤❤
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  • Madison
    Devoted May 2022
    Madison ·
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    Your budget and your dress. Nobody needs to 1. Know the price of it 2. Know who paid for it 3. Say anything about it at all!!!! You are totally fine. Don’t let her change how you feel about your dress! You love your dress and that’s why you got it. Let me tell you this right now your FMIL would not beat me but would kill me if she knew the price of my dress! 😂 so don’t worry about it! I know easier said than done but she’s in the wrong and you need to love your dress and not stress about something that she said that has nothing to do with her! Good luck girl! 💕💕💕💕
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  • Tris
    Expert August 2019
    Tris ·
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    You deserve it. Your grandma wanted to get that for you because she loves you and wants you to feel special and cared for and loved.

    I would not take fmil too seriously, just because it seems out of budget to her doesn't mean you don't deserve it. In the future I'd refrain discussing finances with fmil. Chalk it up to a lesson learned and be happy to know money is t really a subject y'all agree upon.

    No big deal. Just let go and move on.

    I'm sure you'll look beautiful in your dress! Your family and fh will love it!
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  • Katie
    Devoted November 2020
    Katie ·
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    My dress costed the same amount. My mom paid for it. She wanted it to stay below 2000. I was willing to pay that much too before my mom told me she was gonna pay for it.
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  • T
    Beginner June 2019
    Thuy ·
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    You had already set your parameters on price, and it doesn’t match your FMIL’s values. That’s fine. Don’t let her badger you. Your priorities are different. Read: your values are DIFFERENT, no one is right or wrong
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  • Renee
    Super October 2020
    Renee ·
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    What she said was rude and uncalled for. Have you talked to your FH about what she said and how she made you feel? Have you talked to her about it? I understand the anxiety part so maybe just see of your fh would say something to her. But try not to let it bring you down. It's your dress, your day, enjoy it! I know that's easier said than done, especially when someone says something that hurt your feelings

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  • Cheryl
    Savvy November 2019
    Cheryl ·
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    Don’t stress too much over this. I’m sorry that your FMIL’s words hurt your feelings and basically ruined your special moment loving your wedding dress. Good job on being under your budget. Mine was also $2000 and after 7 or 8 dress fittings and maybe 50 dresses later, I found mine for $2300. Yes over my budget but it was a steal for a luxury dress another bride never picked up and was sold for 75% off. I never thought I was gutsy enough to wear this style but it made me feel so special. So for me finding a dress for way under budget at dirt cheap Walmart prices may be attainable but at what cost? Do I have to try on another 50-100 dresses before committing and risk never finding one I liked when I was foolish to have passed on the perfect one for me? Don’t stress over the small stuff sweetie. No one has the right to steal your thunder when you’re getting married.
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  • D
    Super July 2020
    D ·
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    Right on. Don't stress hun. Not worth it. Best not to discuss money with FMIL if at all possible. You found a dress you fell in love with until someone made a dumba$$ comment about it. FH rightfully stood up to her. Don't you dare feel bad. Grandma wants you to feel absolutely special and beautiful at your wedding. Let her do that for you.
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  • Cori
    Devoted June 2020
    Cori ·
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    I feel ya! My dress was $1500 with the same budget as yours. I paid for it completely out of pocket from what I saved from my second job. I was so excited and my bridesmaids and mom loved it. I was showing my coworkers and they said more or less “Wow that’s expensive. My dress was $100 online.” I didn’t think it was that expensive considering some of the budgets I’ve seen. It definitely made me feel a little down about it since I too suffer from anxiety, but I looked at it the other day in my closet and I know it’s what I was looking for. The dress would have been more had I bought it in an actual salon, but I got it at a wedding consignment shop where I could actually afford a ball gown. I would say if your grandma was happy and you were happy the fact of the matter is you will feel happy on your wedding day regardless of her opinion. From now on if people ask just say you found it below your budget to avoid awkward conversations. ❤️
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  • Chandra
    Master May 2019
    Chandra ·
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    The dress is gorgeous and you shouldn't feel bad about it! Most people don't get to dress up like this more than once in their lives! Your FMILs comments were rude and uncalled for. I'm glad your FH confronted his mom about it instead of defending her.

    My mom and I had talked about maybe a $750 cap on dresses....but mine was $1400 on sale ($1500 tag price). I paid for a third of it and moved some things around in the budget to accommodate the difference.
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  • Soon2BSmith
    Expert October 2020
    Soon2BSmith ·
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    Don't stress over it! You found the dress of your dreams under your set budget. Tell you FMIL to keep her comments to yourself!

    Also, I have learned early on, DO NOT tell people how much anything is. People will always have something negative to say.

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  • Heather
    Expert August 2020
    Heather ·
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    I’m sure your FMIL means well, but don’t let her spoil your excitement over your dress. You’re under budget and that’s all that matters. Everyone is going to have an opinion, and there will of course always be cheaper options out there, but if that dress is the one and it’s affordable for your budget go for it! FMIL Isn’t wearing it, you are!
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  • Anna
    Master June 2020
    Anna ·
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    Nope! 2000$ is a reasonable budget for a wedding dress before alterations, in my opinion.
    Mine was just a little under yours, only because it went on sale the day I got it.
    You came in under budget and its your dream dress. Don't let her words steal your joy.
    Shake it off and move on❤
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