Is this reasonable or rude?

I am big on gift etiquette, I would never attend an event like that and no give a gift, so I really appreciate when people have gift registries or are otherwise specific with what they want. This however seems to be quite excessive and inappropriate for the event and to me comes off as entitled and obnoxious. If you choose to give a gift, I would give something more on par with the event.

View Quoted Comment Woah, yeah y’all are right is totally different from what I described. Are you going to say something or coordinate a group response with the other bridesmaids on how this is not the way to ask for gifts?

This is outrageously rude. Highway robbery, bridezilla rides tonight. Someone needs to inform her that: the choice of whether to give a gift or not, and what to give, are the choice of the giver. Weddings, or any other social thing, it is considered highly rude to ask for any gift for yourself. Bride, birthday girl, graduate, new home owner, new mom: if another person asks you specifically, is there something you want? It is okay to answer. That is the theory on registries, that people who want suggestions may look up a registry. But her telling people to buy her jewelry? I would cancel the shower, amd any planned gift from bridesmaids. And give a traditional gift to the couple as a wedding gift. Or, get her an etiquette book she can learn from. If this is a sample of her manners, she will need guidance over and over, home, work, neighborhood, entertaining. All the things she did not learn at home. And maybe a few boxes of blank cards for thank you notes.

There is no universe in which this bride's request is reasonable.

This is totally bizarre and out of line. I hope you don't contribute to this weird fund. Someone needs to tell her not to do this. You don't get to request fancy shoes and jewelry for your shower, you get to make a registry with normal couple items and accept whatever you get graciously.

View Quoted Comment Right?! No way.


Honestly, if she didn’t get you a gift I would think it’s ok to get her a nice card (a small gift or $20 gift card only if you wish). But email her directly or text the whole group and say that unfortunately that gift amount doesn’t work for you.

No thats not normal. Normally brides register for gifts or Ive been to some where all they have on their registry is the honeymoon fund. But specifically asking to help her fund shoes and a bracelet is pretty weird. If youre gonna have to spend $200 on this I would say no. I dont even think I had anything for $200 on my registry

If I got a gift demand from the bride for $5, I would not do it. I might have planned a $50-100 gift, usual, but would not give a second gift ( in addition the the wedding gift) which is what a shower gift is, to someone so piggy. It isn't primarily the dollar amount. It is the fact that she would treat her friends so badly. She is not ENTITLED to anything.

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Thats what we are doing as well, since we need some larger ticket items like furniture and kitchen supplies. (we've been surviving on my Target plastic college kitchen ware lol!!)

That is extremely rude. That's like asking people to pay for your wedding decorations or pay for their own seat. It sounds like this bride is extremely selfish and doesn't understand that a wedding is a joining of TWO people and their families, and not an opportunity to take everyones money for her high fashion addiction.

There's a difference between putting an item on a registry, so guests can quietly do as they please, and putting your bridesmaids on the spot like this.


This probably won't be the end of her demands. You need to set boundaries now. Respond in a group text saying that doezn't work for you.

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Wrong honey! Yes you can say no. She is being tacky and rude to request such a gift of you all. That is beyond my ability to comprehend! I promise you her other attendants feel the same way you do! I would not venmo her, I would simply get her a nice card and a small gift card.

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THIS!!!! I feel the same way!

That's bizarre and rude. A shower gift is for the couple, not the bride's personal wardrobe. Hust as the wedding day reflects both, not just her. Decline the invite and don't gift anything. At that point, I would be declining the role of bridesmaid as well.