Is this appropriate to ask?

There are actually a lot of maternity options. Revelry and Azazie are both inexpensive for higher quality, try on at home and their color swatches are similar.


Asking someone if they plan to be pregnant at a certain time is both impossible to predict and is inappropriate no matter who it is. Pregnancy is not something you plan because whatever you have planned out, nature does the opposite. If it happens the first try, great. If not, then you keep trying until it catches and there is no way to plan that on a calendar.
Bridesmaid dresses are shopped for and ordered around the time when bridesmaids are asked to participate at 6 months before the wedding. Anything before then is way too early to discuss.

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I looked at Azazie and Revelry. Unfortunately Azazie doesn't ship to Scotland where one of my bridesmaids is from so she couldn't get a dress there and I think Revelry was deemed too expensive.

That's why I asked. I wasn't sure if it was appropriate. I already have asked my bridesmaids to be in my wedding due to the fact two of them have to fly in. But we agreed not to look till later in the year. I'd rather ask people advice then ask her and lose her. I appreciate your insight tho.

N that case, mail her a fabric swatch from the dress company you decide on. She can use that to find a matching dress in her area and it doesn’t have to be the same designer.

I think asking her is fine as long as you don't make it seem like you're going to kick her out if she does. I don't get offended by much so if one of my friends asked me, I wouldn't care.

I would wait until you need to finalize dresses to worry about this - so like December of this year. At this point your wedding is a year and a half out and conceiving a child happens on its own time. She might even end up bringing this up to you if they're really trying and it's a concern of her own. Until then, I would keep those dresses in mind, but put that decision aside and try to focus on other aspects of planning right now.

Hmm instead of searching for "maternity" dresses and/or outright asking your MOH (which I agree is not a good move), could you perhaps look at dresses with empire waists? When I went looking for BM dresses along with my friend (the bride) recently, we found that David's Bridal (just as an example) had very limited dresses labeled as maternity, but many more that simply had empire waists and somewhat stretchy fabric. Just offering that up as an alternative!! If that doesn't sound like a good option, perhaps you could just make sure to have one of the 3 dresses be either "maternity" style or have an empire waist (with a non-chiffon fabric) and just throw out a casual comment that "I want to be cognizant of the fact that we are all women who may think about having kids in the next 1-10 years, so I thought it'd be smart to include an option that can accommodate a baby bump." That's something that I really appreciated as a BM in my friend's wedding...she said something to the effect of "I know that at least some members of my bridal party want kids in the next few years, so let's be sure that we look at some dresses that can accomodate a bump, if we happen to have an extra member or two of the bridal party tagging along in utero!" After all, I think (in certain situations) it's ok for friends to ask each other if they envision kids in their futures (in general), but it's not ok for me to ask someone if they plan to be pregnant on XYZ date. For all I know, they could be struggling with their TTC journey, and I wouldn't want to inadvertently rub salt in the wound.

I mean, you could ask if they plan to have kids soon because she’s one of your closest friends and you care about her, not just because of the aesthetic of your wedding. I wouldn’t make any plans based on her answer though, surprises happen every day.

This isn't something you or her can plan around. People can intend to get pregnant at a certain time, but then it happens much earlier or later than expected. I say just let her wear one of the maternity styled. It's common for the MOH to wear a different dress so it won't look weird.

Your wedding is so far away. Even if they want kids and want them soon, there’s no way to know if she’ll be pregnant a year and a half from now. Technically, she could get pregnant, have a baby, and get pregnant again in that timeframe.


I certainly think you could ask but it doesn’t seem like something that can truly be answered.

To be honest I have to disagree with some of the other comments - I do think it would be very invasive for you to ask your friend if she plans on falling pregnant at / around your wedding.

For all you know, your friend may already be trying to conceive. there may be fertility issues she or her partner have or may experience, or perhaps they don't want children for another few years. Regardless of the exact circumstances, I personally think it would be quite invasive to ask your friend this.

If she happens to fall pregnant at a time which would make her visibly pregnant at your wedding, you and her will work something out dress-wise (and it is quite common for the MOH to wear a different gown to bridesmaids anyway).

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I think I agree with this, on the whole - I don't think it's appropriate to ask.

I've been involved in quite a few weddings where bridesmaids intended, or did in fact get pregnant - in one, maybe 2 or 3 weeks after we bought the dresses, the MOH got pregnant and took the bride aside to explain. I am not sure who paid for the second dress - the bride paid for the first - but it honestly wasn't an issue at all. In my wedding, one of my bridesmaids fully intended on being pregnant, if possible, and I had SUCH a hard time finding a dress that would potentially accommodate that whilst suiting the other girls, and now 25 days out after delaying for 6 months, it doesn't look like she will be - or certainly not enough to need a different dress, which makes me sad for her.

One thing I will tell you as I looked for dresses that could accommodate pregnancies is that one store told me unless she's literally ready to pop, you can usually just order several sizes larger than her normal, and have it tailored, and that works - I actually called them up to ask what dress this was, because I couldn't see a maternity section on their website -

and it's just one of their regular dresses altered to fit her. It's also not remotely stretchy, apparently which I think doesn't sound comfortable, but they said they regularly alter them. So, that's another option that isn't impossible!

If you know that she wants to have children and she's married, then you should assume that it's a possibility. Especially since your wedding is a year and a half away. You still have a long time to decide on a dress. If you ask her this, she may feel like you're trying to say you don't want her to get pregnant.

As someone who struggled for many years to get pregnant, I think this would be inappropriate to ask. She could plan on being pregnant by then and it not happen. Then, the dress that she has to wear was chosen under the assumption she’d have a bump. This could bring about many I welcomed feelings for your friend and a reminder of how she is in fact not pregnant.
I think if you know your friend wants children you should expect that this could be a possibility. If it does happen and a dress can’t be altered I think you need to be understanding that her dress may be a bit different. (Hard I know. I was in the same dress camp. I don’t care for mixed matched. This situation would be a little different. At least to me).
You may be able to causally bring it up, as a friend not the bride, and I think that would be fine. Either way, remember even if it’s not your vision or dream, your bridesmaid dresses won’t make or break your day. In the big scheme of things it’s a minute detail that most people won’t care about. And they’ll all look beautiful no matter what they’re wearing.

Nope, not appropriate to ask. I say this as someone who struggled with fertility issues and took around 2 years to finally conceive. You don't know what is going on behind closed doors or if she is already trying.

No, it's not appropriate to ask. Anyway if she says "yes they'll be trying" that doesn't tell you much anyway. If she's actively TTC and having difficulty, it risks coming across badly.

I will go against the grain... I CAN'T see why it would be inappropriate.
Of course, her life doesn't revolve around your wedding but you still have 1 billion things to plan and you need to know, at the very least, if they plan to try.
Many articles from wedding-related websites, including WW, say you should ask the girls before you ask them to be in the WP and that you and your partner should ask all guys and girls if they're planning to move out too).

I disagree with alot of people here. If she is your MOH I assume she is close to you so its okay to ask. When i picked my bridesmaids i made them all aware i didnt want them to be pregnant for the wedding. It’s a personal preference and we should normalize it. One of my bridesmaids actually decided to start IVF in June 2020 when my date was 02/21/2021 before covid changed that. So i kindly told her i loved her but i dont want to put this stress on her since she is paying for IVF and i would love to have her as a guest instead of a bridesmaid so she could focus on getting pregnant with no stress. Its your wedding its okay to not want to want something dont let anyone make u feel bad about it. She wont only be pregnant at the wedding but also at the shower, and the bachelorette. Dont be shy ask!! Its your BIG DAY!

I would ask her girl! Mine is about to pop in may. My wedding is in September though.

Deciding if and when to have children is an extremely personal decision and is NOBODY'S business. No matter the intention behind it or how close you are to them. I don't understand the people who think it's ok to ask your loved ones to put their lives on hold for your one day. Is the aesthetic of one day really more important than someone else's life? Flip it and think about if someone said "I plan on being pregnant when you want to get married. Would you mind pushing your wedding off for a year?" Brides everywhere would flip out! So why is it ok to ask someone to put their life on. hold?

Yes this is invasive. If you think she might be pregnant near your wedding, just assume she might be and pick your dresses that way.