Is this a red flag?

Yes, he needs extensive therapy for sure. My heart sank when you said he put you and his picture in the drawer. That really bothered me, as I pictured in my mind how I'd feel in that situation. Like Cher posted earlier, it's all a bit... morbid, you know? I am so sorry for the loss of his wife, I mean I literally cannot imagine the pain!! The grief! My goodness... but him saying things to you like "If she was alive, you and I wouldn't be together?" That is very disrespectful and seemed like a very bold statement to make. I would definitely postpone the wedding if I were you, and allow him time to grieve and seek counselling. This would just continue into your married life, you being compared to his deceased wife. Which will in turn make you feel unloved, inadequate and torn. I wouldn't want that for you. You've been through a lot I'm sure too, with your divorce. You were most likely looking for a fresh start. Wanting old furniture, making snide remarks and removing pictures of you and him are very bad signs. The ball is truly in your court. I wish you the very best, my heart broke when I read this post

Definitely sounds like he is still grieving and isn't yet really ready to move on. I agree with others that you should both seek counseling, both together and separately before you move forward with the wedding. I have an acquaintance who lost his wife and the mother of his kids about four years ago. He made it very clear (on social media, etc.) that with his deceased wife's blessing on her deathbed, he was aggressively searching for a "new wife." (Like this started very shortly after she passed....) He's now engaged to a woman who is also a widow with kids, and it's still really weird the way he talks & posts publicly about this being "what Suzy (first wife) wanted...." Honestly, I don't think my acquaintance or your fiance seem anywhere near ready to move on. My friend may be lonely, and his life might seem like it will be "easier" once he and his kids have a "new wife/mom," but I just hope she knows what she's getting into.... Not my business, but certainly not choices I'd make. Good luck to you! You both sound like loving, caring people, but I'd encourage him work through his grief and see if he's really ready to move on.

First of all, you are always entitled to your feelings. Secondly, I think in general you are correct that these things are weird. I haven't been in your FH's situation or yours before, but there has to be a better balance of honoring your dead wife's memory and moving on with your new wife....

The framed picture has to go. The reminding you about only being together because she's gone needs to stop. Maybe he feels guilty for still loving her? Maybe address this with him "I know you still love her and that's okay, I can't ask you to stop loving her. But it's time for US to move forward together"

The couch isn't a big deal in my opinion. FH and I both have furniture that lasted from previous relationships. I even have some jewlery from past relationships, although I don't wear it cuz it does feel weird.

I don't think you are overreacting at all! I would feel the same way. I do think that he needs counseling. It might be helpful for him to go by himself, and then for the two of you to go together. I can't imagine how it must feel to lose a spouse, but he can't carry that into his marriage with you.

I am so sorry! My sister was in a very serious relationship with a woman for 6 years. they talked about marriage and kids and being a family and well you know life happens and they drifted apart. She was a big part of our family and always has been and always will be. for the last 2 years she was trying so hard to get back with my sister she loved her. In January my sister passed away and she got a tattoo in her memory but is in a new relationship now. Her gf doesn't like that she still talks to us but thats the jist. There always needs to be boundaries but the fact he is holding on the way he is is definitely a red flag. Obviously shes not competition but also I wouldn't be a 100% sure he is really ready for this type of commitment. I'm sorry you have to deal with this, you should never have to feel this way with your partner.

Omg! I didn't even mention that. He has a forearm tattoo of her face that he got before I met him, but last year he went out with her kids and came home with this note that she had written to him tattooed on his chest in her hand writing. I had no idea how to react to that. Still don't. Pretty much want to scratch it off. Actually one day our cat scratched him pretty good right across it and my reaction was so, I don't even have the words, I was like "well ain't that a pity."