Is this a good reason to have a dry reception?

I think it's absurd and SO rude to invite people to a destination wedding then NOT include them in the ceremony AND have a dry wedding. That's insane.

View Quoted Comment

Yeah, my opinion is similar to yours.

I was surprised at the reception only invite-I confirmed with the bride/groom that they would want us there at 6PM (when the reception starts, but I didn't mention the ceremony or reception at all as I didn't want them to feel weird). But, I assumed that they wanted a family-only/intimate wedding.

Then the groom was complaining to me about the dry wedding last week and the reason they were having it. I know he and his friend group do enjoy drinking socially. He was pretty annoyed, so I just listened.

But inside I was a bit taken aback as well, regarding both aspects and I wanted to know what y'all thought. I still stand by my opinion though.

Wait what? Why? That's lame. Either way do what you want to do with your money. That's always my opinion.

View Quoted Comment You're right that receptions were simpler back when my parents got married. (In the 60s) However, destination weddings also weren't a thing like they are now. This couple is hosting a destination wedding at a 4/5 star hotel which will cost most of their guests $1000, or more, to attend. You lose the argument that that a dry wedding is ok because back in the day weddings weren't as extravagant as they are now. This couple wants an extravagant wedding, just without the booze.

View Quoted Comment I see your point but do you have to stay in that hotel? I agree to do a nice reception if people are traveling for the wddding but where I don't lose is that it's not your right as the guest to tell them how to spemd their money. I disagree having an opinion on someone's wedding unless you're willing to pay. My sister in law and her husband did a cash bar and one of the groomsmen paid for it to be open. I get you wanting liquor but I disagree with that being the reason you're no longer excited. It sounds like the only reason to go is the reception and not for the union of thr couple. I like a good drink too but I can survive an evening without drinking and have a good time but everyone is different. That's my opinion and it's okay that we don't agree. At the end of the day if it's that important then don't travel for the wedding.

View Quoted Comment Watch an old movie, honey. Or read an old etiquette book, or an old magazine. Weddings have always included many totally extravagant ones, all according to the finances of the family. Some people hired many train cars for traveling weddings, and live bands or orchestras we're far more common . Still, some incredibly extravagant weddings served alcohol, and some didn't. The only thing they all once provided was boxes of cigarettes and cigars, for any guests. Yuk. But alcohol is not a necessity, it is a host's choice. And my guess is that "groom and friends get loud" is family code for, once they start drinking, they lose all control, and get totally inappropriate, maybe sick, and are belligerent enough to want to drive when totally drunk. A fair number of annulments shortly after the wedding, have to do with parties just before the wedding, and horrid behavior at the wedding and on the honeymoon, from drinking. So people who are not willing to deal with this, and expect it from guests or family, wisely do not serve alcohol. ( And yes I drink, and yes we had alcohol. But I worked catering off and on for years. Couples receiving extra bills for $10,000 to $30,000 for damages, suits, because insurance does not cover garbage behavior from drunken guests .)

This is a crazy reason to not have alcohol served at their wedding. BUT that was her choice - not sure how he wouldn't have her compromise but his marriage not mine.

I would totally apologize and say you can't make it something came up.... ( is it's far enough ahead of time.) maybe that's just me, but there's NO WAY I would ask someone to travel for my wedding and treat my guests that way.... That is BEYOND rude. It would be one thing if it wasn't a destination wedding and you were an out of town guest.... but for a destination wedding? They could have spent some money on the guests.