Is there really a difference between church ceremony and garden ceremony?

Wilma, I officiate at many beach and garden weddings. When two elderly ladies were in a huff before the ceremony because the B&G were getting married on the beach, I said, "This is God's most beautiful cathedral -- what can be wrong with getting married here in the midst of God's creation?" They didn't have another word to say.

I think your venue is beautiful and if you're having your pastor perform a traditional to your culture type of wedding, you mom should be satisfied with that.

I'm also the first in my family not to get married in a church. We're getting married in a botanacle garden, but my parents are really supportive, it was that or a vegas chapel LOL

Not to devalue your decision, but for some perspective: It was very important to me to have a Catholic wedding in church (Catholics don't have weddings outside of church, except for very serious reasons) because it's a recognition of what we're doing. Marriage, for me, is a matter of religious understanding, and if we're not married before God by a clergy member, we're not married, no matter what theatrical production we put on. The civil certificate just doesn't cut the mustard.

Again, the preceding is my from my own little brain and not to tell you how to think, but presented for some understanding of what your mom might be feeling. Have a conversation with her about what marriage is about and try to reach a compromise--perhaps she would feel more comfortable if the pastor officiated at your garden ceremony, or if you were married in a small ceremony at church before the celebration.

I feel as if God is everywhere, as was indicated above and that your marriage is no less religiously legit so to speak since you are doing it outside. :-) How upset is your mom getting about it? I think parents often worry too much what other family members may think of them if they don't do things by the book..I recently went to a garden ceremony and it was really nice, besides the bugs.

I think it depends on the people and how they view religion and what that means to them. Some people feel that the only place you can be religious is inside the place of worship. In some religions, if you get married outside, the religion won't recognize the marriage. I think that if this is what you really want, you need to talk with her about it. Say that although your venue is a bit nontraditional, you still want to have a traditional wedding. Let her know of the traditions/rituals you are observing in the ceremony and ask her if she has any other ideas of what you can include. Try to get her involved in the process and see if that helps. Good luck!

I know my FH is nervous because his family is Catholic and I'm Presbyterian... we're getting married in the church that I was a part of until Nov. when I moved and getting married by a woman... he's nervous some of his older family members may not like that since women can't be priests in Catholicism. (cont)

As a result, we're trying to include some of the more Catholic traditions and wordings of things in our ceremony in hopes that it will help them feel more comfortable. (As well as to help join our two religions together a bit more for the two of us.)

Does she know that a pastor is still performing the ceremony? Maybe you can have the pastor talk to her, explain to her that the ceremony is still religious?

I honestly see no difference. But I'm NOT religious is the slightest. I think "god" is everywhere and will understand the love between two people no matter were they announce it to their friends and family. I have a friend, don't remember her religion, but she once told me that in her church they consider a couple together once they announce their intent to spend the rest of their lives together. So in her particular branch it's not seen as a sin to have sex before your married if your engaged, because you have already publicly announced your intent to be together forever.

I just think it's interesting the different view out there.

I dis told her that it will be the same (with veil, coin,cord). That we will be blessed just like church. They cnt understand that we are god fearing couple we jst have vission of our wedding in this garden.

IDK your religion, but I am having a Catholic wedding at a church, which typically last about an hr. I have been to outdoor weddings and those have lasted 30 min or less. I am thinking the only difference is the time, but dont quote me, I am not 100% sure. But do what feels right for you. Ourdoor weddings are cute.

Have the pastor talk to her.

Did she have a fit that you two had children out of wedlock? obviously i don't know the full story and i don't mean to offend, but it seems rather odd that your mom would be upset about not getting married in a church, when you've already done things that are supposedly not acceptable already

i think asking her question that nancy said she asked the two elderly ladies that were upset about the ceremony not being in a church would be a good place to start. or ask your mom if she thinks that god is so weak, that he couldn't bless a union he brought together in a place other than a building that has been labeled a church?

I remember when FS and I first got engaged and we were thinking of opting for an outdoor ceremony instead of the Catholic wedding ... and they flipped out! Which I found rather amusing because they most certainly don't go to church ... and quite honestly I'm beginning to wish we had continued to op with an outdoor ceremony because the church is STRESSING me out! We have switched priests, the church we are marrying at is not returning phone calls NOR is the church we are supposed to be prepared for by is returning phone calls ...

But the main difference at least in my religion, is that a marriage is not a marriage in the church unless it is overseen by a priest in a house of God ... because our theory is it takes 3 people to get married, the bride, the groom and God and by not having a church wedding our marriage is not recognized by the Catholic church and therefore we are not starting our marriage right because God is not there ...

Which I disagree with because GOD created everything the heavens, the earth, the ocean, the lakes and rivers, the trees, the birds and all of animals ... to me there is no better way of honoring God than by marrying outside with all that he has created around you ...

Okay, God is everywhere, but priests tend to like to do weddings in churches ;-)

I agree with Shellie--have your pastor in on the conversation. If you're acting in good faith based on your own religious understanding, that's all your mom can ask of you, especially if your pastor is on board with it already.

When we had our kids they didnt say a thing cuz his mom was dying frm cancer then 2 yrs later was hia great grandma dying frm kidney failure. I am born catholic and became christian. I believe the bible and god. Basically its still gona be in the garden cuz we are paying all of it and we are not waiting for financial help. I think she will come around cuz like I said we are getting married for the right reasons and we only have to make it the way we vission it. I love my mom and I know she will accept it cuz god will bless us as one.

I think you'll be fine. It's not about the building. The only difference is you are at the mercy of mother nature when it comes to outdoor weddings. I personally didn't want that added stress so I knew mine was going to be indoors. But the bottom line is you have to choose the venue that will make you and your FH the most happiest and the the rest of the family just deal with it.

Let me tell you that I got married court first. After almost 3 years we are doing a church ceremony. We decided to go this way 1) being both in the military is hard to schedule too far in advance. 2) Both my Hubby & I are want to raise our children the Catholic way + it will make all of our families very happy. That is just my personal belief. I am sure your mom will be fine. Best of Luck