Is the "honeymoon fund" a thing?

Waiting for the responses to roll in

It is a thing but most people on here don't like it- it's tacky to ask people straight up for money. If you'd like money, just don't register and people will get the idea. The site that hosts the cash fund also will take a fee out of it, so it's altogether just better to not register and people will give you cash or a check in a card at the wedding.

Most WW peeps will tell you that a honey fund is not proper etiquette.

However, they are popular for couples who don't have a large resistery because they already live together.

It's up to you but just expect people to get the hint that you would probably prefer cash to presets by telling people you aren't registered at any specific spot because you're currently at a comfortable place with material belongings. Or see about setting up a trip with a travel agent and have guests pay for an experience or adventure of your choosing.

If you don't want an actual cash jar at your reception, you could always register online for a honey fund and put the link on your wedding website, if you have one, so people can donate and see the planning details.

Honeyfund is a huge scam to basically charge you and your guests to have a place online to have money (a glorified PayPal). You don't get any discounts. They don't book anything. The prices are inaccurate 90% of the time or unavailable in the area you wish to honeymoon. To withdraw the money you are required to pay anywhere between 10-20% in fees.

If you have a small registry with upgrades, guests will get the hint that you want cash. Instead of a 20% service charge they pay $1-$3 for a card and shove the money in there.

Also, you aren't a charity. It isn't a donation. Please stop calling them "donations".

Please don't do this. A Honeyfund is bad enough but putting a jar out and begging for money is so crass. It is incredibly rude to beg for money at your wedding.

If people want to give you money, they will most often present it in the form of cash or a check inside a card.

Honeymoon funds or getting people to pay for excursions at a resort like a pp mentioned is just tacky and rude. And a lot of the sites take a huge chunk of the money as a few. A jar at a wedding is just as bad as asking someone for money. Like others have said, just don't register and people will give you money in a card.

As much as people blame this site for being anti-honeyfund, realistically it's just illogical and offputting because all human beings know they have the option of contributing cash money. We are all aware that cash is king. If you don't want physical gifts, don't register and you'll get cash.

As a guest, I’m gonna know if you already live together and have everything you need. I’m not stupid. In my area, you only give physical gifts for the shower anyway. Always cash at the wedding. I’ll do that on my own though- don’t need the couple instructing me on how to gift them.

It's only a thing if you want to be tacky and rude to your guests. Don't panhandle at your wedding. And honestly honeymoon registries are awful as well. Even if you don't see why they are rude, why would you want to get less money from a guest because of their fees? Guests know how to put cash or a check into an envelope.

Yuck. Asking for money in any form is in poor taste.

*Looks at title*

*Opens thread carefully*

*Retreats*

No no no don't do it please

Oh dear..

Just don't. It is not classy, and makes the couple look like beggars.

It's never appropriate to ask others to fund a vacation.

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Most people who are at the wedding will already have gotten you a gift or card before they see the jar. Essentially you are asking them to give you a second gift.

I think the jar is s little tacky. I don't mind buying a gift card or excursion etc as a shower gift though. It is easier for me as a guest. Part of my honeymoon is a Disney trip and all of my sisters have me Disney gift cards. My cousins put money into my onboard cruise account.

Honey funds. Arg. The excuses are always the same, but it's tacky no matter how you slice it. My partner (who is also an officiant) just discovered them and he was horrified. Here are some of the more popular, mythical justifications that crop up here from week to week.

-we have lived together for x years and we have everything we need. No, you don't. I've been living on my own probably longer than many people here have been alive and even I need stuff.

-We're saving for a new home. So am I. Welcome to the club. I'd prefer to save for my own thank you.

-We deserve a vacation. So do I. See above.

-We're spending 20,000 for our 'friends' to celebrate on our dime; they can pay us back. If that's the way you feel about your friends, then don't invite them. It shows a serious lack of respect.

-It's so easy! No it's not. It's way easier to give you money or a check. People do it all the time.

-We don't want random crap. If anyone gives you a gift at all, pretend to be grateful. And for the record? I have never seen more than a few boxed gifts at any given wedding. It's all checks and cash. Registries are for showers.

-We'll get excursions! No, you get a check with a percentage taken out. Because so many people hate this concept you may get enough bucks for two drinks at the bar. And it may be your neghborhood bar.

- You don't get the check before you need to pay for the honeymoon.

-Almost everyone who isn't 25 thinks this is a rude, shitty idea. Just short of registering for your student loan. Or titties.

-Asking for money is always crass. Even asking your parents for money for your so well deserved wedding. People don't need to be asked for money; they know how to give it to you.

And the reason you see this concept more and more is that it makes money; for WW for HF, for Zola. There is no mystery that practically no concept invented for weddings is invented because it enhances your experience. It was invented to make money.

But the bottom line is that anyone who has talked themselves into thinking this is a good idea will do it. No matter how many times it's discussed.

AS for me? If I got your request for money to go on vacation? You'd get the biggest, light up Donald Drumpf lawn gnome I can find.

And no, your honeymoon is not a charity. Calling the contributions donations is just insulting.

The OP isn't even taking about an online honeyfund. She is talking about a JAR at the wedding.

OP, it's not a "thing" at any wedding I've ever attended. It's a Pinterest thing or a thing for tacky people. Please don't do it. Guests will already be bringing you a gift (often money). You don't need to prompt them to give more with a tacky jar.

Noooooo please don't put a jar out. You're not a coffee shop and you're not performing a service that would necessitate tips.