Is the Father/daughter dance for me or my dad?

Yikes I had a lot of typos in there. I meant should we run it passed them to see if they're okay with not doing it or is that dance more for the bride and groom?

I honestly think it's more for the parents. Maybe hint at it to see what they think about it before come straight out and asking, and letting on that you don't really care about it?

Spoke to dad today. My old cancer beating, steak eating father might need a bypass. He'll get not "giving away" his 42 year old daughter, but we're definitely going to have a dance. Yesterday I would have said it's for him. Tonight I think it's gonna be for me.

If you are rather indifferent on the dance, but are concerned about how they may feel. It might not hurt to run it by them. I think it's meant to be a special moment with the parents and their children but if neither you nor the parents involved care about doing it, you could probably do without it. Have they talked about it at all? Maybe you could bring up the topic of father/daughter and mother/son dances and see what they think?

I think this depends on your relationship. My dad and I want to dance together, we’ve always been close but it’s really for both of us. We both want the special memory and my dad always imagined walking me down the isle /dancing with me.

If you decide not to do the dance, maybe you can think of another way to honor your father, or something that would honor both of your parents.

I would do the dances if I was you. It's more for your parents, but I always remember that parents won't be here forever and I want those memories. I'll never forget me and my father on the dance floor. He gave me some great marriage advice and I never expected it (he's not a touchy-feely kind of guy). He told me he was proud of me and how much he loves my spouse. I'll never forget those 2 minutes we shared that night.

Definitely talk to them- the dance is 95% for the parents. Especially with them contributing so much it might mean a lot to them. It takes 6 minutes for 2 dances or combine them into 1.

You could ask them, but I think it depends on your relationship as well. I want a father daughter dance but my FH does not want a mother son dance..

My dad was so excited he called me a month after we got engaged (2.5 year long engagement) to ask if it was okay if we danced to a certain song. I would not have minded skipping it but it was so important to him I couldn't.

My husband's mom was different. A week before our wedding, I ended up calling her and asked her. We picked a song and let her decide the day of. She did decide she wanted to and I think it meant a lot to her.

I would say it’s for both? I would definitely run it past them!

I would say it's mostly for them. For what it's worth, we skipped both of ours after asking the parents if they had strong feelings about it. MIL didn't care either way and my dad didn't really want to, so we skipped them.

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Wow. Poignant. I really wish there were a way to upvote or favorite comments, because this one takes the cake.

I’m not doing that either! I’m not close to my step dad and I don’t speak to my biological father. I decided to let my step father walk me down the isle to appease my mother but I’m not doing a first dance with him.

Run it past them. If you don't do it, you very well could regret it later. To me, it's a no brained because I'm very close with my dad.

When I got married, I think the dance was just as much for me as it was my dad. My biological dad left when I was in my early teens, and having a step-father who has been the only real dad I've ever had be able to dance with me on my wedding day was very special to me.

I have 2 sons, and I'm not going to lie to you, if one of them told me they weren't going to do the mother/son dance, I would be so upset. However, I would NEVER tell them, because I wouldn't want to make them feel bad/guilty or (even worse) make them feel forced to do it, but I would be disappointed. I would at least run it by them to see how they feel.

My future step-daughter & her husband did one song that both "couples" (father/daughter, mother/son) danced to. It was really sweet and they all felt less like they were on display. FH loved having the time with his baby girl, too. :-)

Thanks everyone for the different perspectives. Still not sure what we’re going to do but very grateful for the feedback.

I think it's a little more for the parents and might put out some feelers to see how they feel! It could also be easier to approach the conversation with some alternatives so the question isn't whether or not you will do these dances, but how you can include them or make them feel special in other ways!

The mother/son dance isn't as big of a tradition among my friends, so DH just skipped it and he and his mom are good!

I would ask them first - I understand wanting to cut stuff like this from the timeline to have more free time and so the guests don't get bored watching dances, but as a 3 time bridesmaid I actually always really enjoy watching these dances - makes me think about my own dad and gives you a sweet look into their relationship that you normally don't see. So unless the reason is you don't want people witnessing that, don't cancel it for the sake of the guests.

I think my dad would be disappointed if I said I didn't want to do it.

Anyway, if everyone's on board and you're all just not the dancing-in-front-of-people types, feel free to forgo, it's your wedding!