Is Pornography Okay In Your Marriage?

View Quoted Comment I wouldn't say that I'm against pornography either but I also don't think it's healthy for partners to excessively watch it, even together.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for sharing this perspective.
Is there a cut off that you and your future husband have in regards to pornography? In other words, how much is too much? And what would you do if it became unhealthy?

View Quoted Comment 😮 you bring up such great points.

View Quoted Comment I guess I wouldn't mind my husband watching pornography if I was away for a few days. But after hearing about it's connection to human trafficking it grosses me out.

View Quoted Comment I can appreciate this perspective.

View Quoted Comment I also find it difficult to give a yes or no answer on this topic.

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I don't think there is one. We've been together 6 years as adults and were together as teenagers too. If I felt (or he felt) it was a replacement or a necessity, then we'd talk and solve the problem, but I don't ever see that being an issue.

View Quoted Comment This comment makes me wonder if all of the women in this discussion who are against pornography are also against strip clubs. I'll make another discussion, lol.

View Quoted Comment Your not a "prude", everyone's relationship is different and that's perfectly okay.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for bringing up the idea of the 80/20 rule where you may not meet 100% of your partners needs.

View Quoted Comment I have also read studies about pornography altering the brain, that could definitely ruin a marriage.

View Quoted Comment Are you concerned with pornography's potential to become addictive and lead to divorce?

View Quoted Comment No. That is not a concern in my mind at all. Work can become addictive and destroy marriages, as well as the internet, drugs, hobbies, and lots of other things. I don’t see porn as being any different. When other things become more important than your relationship, that is a problem to work through. Porn, in my mind, is no different than any other addiction.

I think there are a lot of factors involved with this, and it boils down to the couple, who is watching the porn for what reasons.
Many women and men struggle with inadequacy or self esteem and porn can exasperate those feelings. But also not everyone shares the same sex drive and porn can be a good filler when the drive is present but doesn't match. I also believe this is a topic that should be discussed as part of dating and before marriage because of how strongly people can feel over it, I think many couple's that divorce over it likely did not discuss their habits, or if they did it it may not have been as truthful or open as they should have. I feel that excessive porn watching is often indicative of a deeper issue at hand that likely needs professional help.
Overall my fiance and I aren't against porn, we both dabbled with it prior to dating each other, but we don't feel that it would add any benefit for us and don't watch it.

View Quoted Comment Good point. Thanks for indulging me in conversation.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for sharing.

View Quoted Comment Sure thing. I wish more people could see there isn’t always one correct way of doing things or one correct way of seeing things.

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Oh, no. I'm a prude. As soon as I saw this topic, I wanted to delete it! :-P Being a prude isn't a bad thing necessarily - forcing other people to think/behave the way I usually do would be.

Absolutely, positively not!

View Quoted Comment I like making these discussion posts because they allow for me to see a variety of perspectives.