Is my officiant legal?

That's why I'm against family or friends even Officiating. Someone on FH's side got ordained online. I said no before family even finished the suggestion. I don't want any question the validity of our marriage down the road.

The most troubling thing with this is that I have called the appropriate county office twice and explained I don't know if my officiant is legal. I was told it's 'probably fine.' I'm going to email (per suggestion at the county office). It think its pretty screwy (as with most legalities) that the county office can't or won't answer my questions. I was annoyed when they didn't even want to explain the 'appointment' situation (for getting married at the courthouse). I think I've just dealt with too many bureaucratic nightmares in my life to have patience for something as simple as getting married (and not even a same sex wedding!). It really doesn't need to be this complicated.

We're going to get married at the town house - legally. And then with our friends and family we'll 'officiate' our marriage like a real marriage by a friend of ours. Except we would already be legally married. Maybe you can do the same? For me the official wedding would be with my friends and family and not so much the legal signing of our wedding papers.

Thus far my official answer (but I'm still looking regarding the real answer for Michigan), a friend/lawyer suggested the same thing: going to the local courthouse and legally doing it there, regardless of where the pretty ceremony is held. Why is this so complicated? If this continues to be the solution, I have to convince my fiance that it's reasonable (or necessary) to do this. I suggested it once and he said he wanted to be 'married' in front of our friends/family.

The county employees can't give you legal advice, which includes interpreting or explaining the law. I know it's frustrating, but that's just how it is.

My sister decided to have her wedding in Wi instead of IL. Shouldn't have been a problem, except the family friend that was to marry them was not authorized to sign a WI marriage licence. So, the day before the "real" wedding, my sister got married at the courthouse. Parents, siblings and children were there.

The next day, the "real" wedding was held, in front of family and friends with the officiant of their choice.

I get that employees can't interpret the law (makes plenty of sense for most things), but this is something that shouldn't be complicated. For the fact that I've heard and read the stories of people finding out years later that they aren't legally married is ridiculous. If anything, they should return your marriage certificate to say-- denied, officiant isn't legal or whatever. My fear is down the road, we discover we aren't married and need to be. You shouldn't need to hire a lawyer to tell you who can and can't officiate a wedding. At this point, it's the principle. I'll probably end up doing the courthouse thing, but it's frustrating none the less.

Why not just hire a JOP or a minister/rabbi/reverend-- that way you are sure your marriage is legal and you only have to be married "once"?

I did a search for Detroit and found a ton of pro officiants, but obviously you can change the location and find plenty

https://www.weddingwire.com/shared/Search?geo=detroit%2C+mi&cid=9&aovt=y&l=y&mm=n&vss=y&view_type=photo

Michigan is the same as Colorado where I work. The simple answer is if the officiant is ordained (in whatever organization) they are legal. They don't have to be involved in a particular religion or have a congregation to be ordained. Ask your officiant. If they don't know they may not be ordained.

Here's the legalese:

Under Michigan Compiled Laws

551.7 Persons authorized to solemnize marriage; records; returns; disposition of fees charged by mayor or county clerk

(1) Marriages may be solemnized by any of the following:

(i) A minister of the gospel or cleric or religious practitioner, anywhere in the state, if the minister or cleric or religious practitioner is ordained or authorized to solemnize marriages according to the usages of the denomination.

I'm going to say up front that I wouldn't rely on this as an argument that it'll be legal no matter what...

At our last meeting with our officiant he pulled out his card to show he's a full-fledged, recognized Presbyterian pastor and he's registered in my state (we live on the border of two states and he's in the next--but a pastor just has to file an application with our Secretary of State). I joked, "Yeah, I'd hate to find out on our 40th anniversary that we were never actually legal." He said that a similar thing did actually happen and it went to the state Supreme Court in Ohio and the marriage was upheld as legal because the couple made a good faith effort to find someone they thought was legally allowed to perform the ceremony. So I guess worst case scenario there is some degree of case law but I SO wouldn't want to rely on that as my only fallback plan.

Since you seem to be running into roadblocks at the court, why not find an attorney that can answer the question and pay them for the answer?

Here in MO you can't get married by anyone other than a religious official or a judge. Since we aren't religious it seemed wrong to us to have a religious official of any kind marry us and we wanted our families there (not allowed at the courthouse). So we went to the courthouse for the legal bit and then are having a family friend officiate at the wedding. It's what works best for us given the laws as they stand. Personally, I don't think it's right that you are limited to a religious official when not everyone is religious and the way the law is set up it basically punishes those who aren't.

It's not only the "are they legal" part....it's the "are they any good" part.....

So an update if anyone wonders/if it helps anyone else:

After calling twice, I emailed the county clerk and was told: "the most important part is that I'm comfortable with my officiant and believe them to be legally able to perform the marriage."

That answer still seems to be very vague. So, I called (again) to find out details on how to do the wedding at the courthouse (e.g. making an appointment, estimated time, and so on). I thought this way my immediate family can come to see us be 'married' at the courthouse with a pretty ceremony later. The courthouse told me, we do have to make an appointment several weeks out. I explained we are both out of state residents and asked if that means they will let us pay the waiver to skip the 3 day waiting period, so we can apply for the license and get married in the same day. They said they probably won't waive the 3 day waiting period since we're coming into town prior to the wedding. I told them we aren't really coming into town early, we'll be there 1-2 days before the wedding to get ready/see family.

Out of frustration, I'm probably going to my local courthouse to be married before we leave for Michigan. I don't want to risk getting to Michigan and being told they won't waive the 3 day waiting period and we can't actually be married. I'm pretty disappointed in the lack of help they've been. Although it's not really a destination wedding, I would think courthouses would let you pay a waiver to skip the waiting period if you aren't an in-state resident.

Florida has a 3-day waiting period for FL residents. It can be waived if you take a premarital course or can convince a judge to waive it.

Non-residents do not have to wait.

The clerks at our county courthouse will not interpret the law.

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I live in PA which is a Quaker State. Family members are allowed to legally officiant a couple as far as I know except for in one county where they require the officiant to have an active congregation. Several of my friends have been married by their Aunt. Check not only the State law but also the local laws to make sure that it's legal. It was a big deal in PA when a lot of people in that one county found out that their marriage wasn't legal.

That was a long time ago in PA, regarding online ordinations. Part of the problem with PA is that it's a commonwealth; each county is a bit different.

For Sara, I think the idea of getting legally married locally is a good one, especially with the time frame thrown in as an extra bonus.....Lots of my out of state couples here do that since NJ has a three day wait for everyone. It's possible to get a waiver, but I don't know what the criteria is.

I'm consistently surprised at how different the information can be from clerk to clerk. Do the safest thing for you and don't look back.

I live in Michigan and am being married by an Officiant who does not have a church or congregation of any sort. You can also look up officiants on the WW site that will lead you to non-congregational ministers. Here is an example you can look up and even call them to ask questions.

http://www.michiganofficiants.com/

Sara, your plan sounds like the safest option. We were just married last weekend. We had our big, beautiful ceremony on Saturday then had a small church ceremony Monday where the marriage license was signed. Hubby had to be technically married within the four walls of a church in order for the Catholic Church to recognize it. As far as your FH wanting to be married in front of friends and family: it's all a matter of perspective. Our marriage occurred on Saturday though nothing was signed until Monday. Saturday is the day we will recognize as our anniversary and we certainly felt married after saying vows to each other with all our friends and family present. Think of the courthouse as a technicality and move on.