Is my maid of honor overstepping?

Did you ask her opinion? If so, she may tell you what you do not wanna hear. If it is a problem in the future just tell her you would like her to be more supportive but sometimes when we ask opinions we may not like. It may not be her style. I asked my friend about my cake decor and she does not like it but I do so I am gonna do it. If you love it then that is all that matters.

View Quoted Comment I didn’t ask for her opinion which is why I was confused if she was overstepping. All I did was send her a picture of it but I wasn’t asking hey do you think this is nice or will look nice on me because I know we don’t have the same style and I just feel like even if we did it wouldn’t be her place to tell me if it’s the dress for me or not.

I think she is just giving her opinion and trying to be a good friend. I would probably have the same reaction to that dress. It is a bit risk-A for my taste but ultimately it is up to you. I do not think she was trying to be rude or anything. All of you opinions will likely change when you actually try the dresses on.

Since you sent her the dress, I'm guessing she thought you'd want her opinion on the dress so in that sense I don't necessary think she was overstepping. I will say it is a unique dress and not for everyone.

View Quoted Comment Oh okay, I guess I was just thrown off because she said wow it’s really nice but the second I said I liked it she said it wasn’t the dress for me. So I didn’t know if she just felt like be annoying or if she was serious.

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I get what ya mean and I will be honest. Maybe do not share with her. I am saying this because I had a friend where I would share wedding stuff with her and she would find something negative to say. I dunno if because she was having martial problems she kind of took it out on me but everyone I sent a pic of my dress to loved it and I sent it to her and she commented that it looks long...as if she had to find something to pick at. So I decided I won't share with her voluntarily and share with people that will be positive. I mean it hurts when people do not share your joy but even asking her if it looks nice sadly opens it up to her giving her honest opinion. To me overstepping would be her choosing a dress for you but telling you her thoughts is not. I would say limit your ideas and if it continues to be an issue maybe have a heart to heart of that her negative comments are a little hurtful. I think the dress is lovely though and you should try it on. Here is the deal with wedding planning, not everyone is going to like what you like and sometimes best to limit wedding talk with some people. Sorry she had a negative response but like you said, your styles are different. You may not like a style of dress she chooses either but I feel ya her response could have been a bit nicer.

I do think it’s kind of rude of her to just determine that it’s not the one for you but then again that’s what happens when you have an entourage and you show them because everyone has different styles

View Quoted Comment Okay thank you, and I was a bit thrown off because at first she commented on how nice it was then said not for me. But everyone else I showed it to has said it’s been really nice. But you’re I will limit this stuff with her because she’s fantastic doing planning with me but when it comes to this stuff it seems like if she’s in a mood she’ll challenge me if she wants to. Thanks for clarifying and taking the time to respond😚

What is it you want from her? Do you appreciate her honesty or do you want/need her to just be positive regardless of how she actually feels? It sounds like in the past you've known her to give you her opinion even though it is different from yours (and that you've been confident enough in your own choices to go ahead with what you prefer). If you know her to be honest and straightforward, but now you only want people who will be positive and supportive of whatever you seem to be thinking, I probably wouldn't ask her opinion on stuff. While I think the dress in the photo is certainly unique and might be very fitting for some people and wedding styles, it's definitely not very traditional and might not look good on some people. So, if asked, I might initially respond, "It's so unique" (or, possibly her, "Wow!" -- the good news is she did clarify that you hadn't already chosen it as your dress before she gave you her more specific opinion...). If you like the dress, try it on, but I don't think there's a reason to be offended by her response. Good luck!

If someone sent me a dress, I wouldn’t assume they wanted my opinion. Just because her opinion isn’t the same is yours doesn’t mean it’s wrong. I will say that she could have worded it a little better.

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Oh of course. We are here to support each other plus I have been there lol. That is great she is awesome with planning but yeah if her mood dictates how she responds then nah. Even if a friend of mine's dress isn't my style I would say something. She may have said nice not thinking it was a dress you wanted (not sure why lol) but I feel if others like it then give it a try. At the end of the day you are wearing the dress so you have to love it.

I think she is being a close friend and informing you her honest opinion just what besties would and should, even if she could have chosen a better way to tell you. She must have seen you in many different dresses before, so she probably wanted to say what dress shape looks best on you 😉

View Quoted Comment Thank you everyone for responding. I guess I was confused by her response because she had changed her opinion after I said I liked it. But I guess I was taken aback because I didn’t know if she was in a mood to challenge me or if that’s really what she meant. And her saying that’s not the dress for you I just felt like she doesn’t have the right to determine if it’s what I want or not. But pick my battles and I won’t be going to her with dress stuff because it won’t be useful because our styles are sooo different. But she’s an incredible help with planning as well. ☺️☺️

View Quoted Comment Lol yes which was very confusing like who else would the dress be for? But thank you!

Why are you sending her photos if she’s never really been supportive of your ideas?

It seems unwarranted since you were just showing her a picture instead of in a boutique trying on dresses, which is when people generally give their opinions. But I don't think she meant harm by saying it is not the dress for you, though it could have been phrased better. Generally even if your close friends have different styles from you, they will still have a good idea of what is you and will be able to tell what fits your style. I'm sorry her comments came off in a weird way though.

Maybe she thought you were looking for advice. And maybe she does likes the dress but not as a wedding dress for you. It's like the one person said its risk-a. I have seen many beautiful dresses at David's bridal that I loved but didn't necessarily love the look of it from a brides standpoint. It is a beautiful dress but maybe she just thought you should go for a traditional style.

I don’t think she’s over stepping, I would have the same reaction it’s a gorgeous dress but not exactly traditional so she might have a crazy reactions to it , don’t take it the wrong way if you like it & that’s what you want at the end of the day it’s your wedding. Everyone is going to have a Opinion.

I’m weird. But I’ve never quite understood a bride showing her dress, flowers and sharing all of her wedding ideas with others instead of allowing them to see it on wedding day. I say that because this is often what happens. I feel like people are more opinionated beforehand than if they were to see you in the dress for the first time walking down the aisle. No one would care and everybody would just ooohh and aaahhh and provide compliments. I don’t think she was overstepping, she was giving her opinion. But most people only like opinions that are in line with their own. However, you also said that this same person does not have the same style as you. So it doesn’t seem out of the norm for her to not like what you like.


I like the dress in the picture. But my opinion doesn’t matter. All that really matters is whether YOU like it.

View Quoted Comment Yes. You two can be different personalities and taste, but still besties. We all sometimes said or did something we wish we never did or do it differently but in the end these small things are definitely not worth the doubt. You will be the one decide on your own dress in the end 😉