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Dedicated May 2019

Is my husband invited or no?

kelsey, on April 23, 2021 at 6:11 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 17
Hi! Recently I was invited to a wedding that was just addressed to me. It said “Mrs. My Name” on the envelope. The RSVP card said pick your meals with two lines to respond for my name and a guests name with a spot that says guest. I don’t know this person very closely and want to have a good relationship for professional reasons. That being said I don’t want to presume my husband is just invited.
I need help what is your take in the situation?

17 Comments

Latest activity by Lady, on April 26, 2021 at 10:32 AM
  • K
    Dedicated May 2019
    kelsey ·
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    For clarification when I was planning a wedding I was Always told include “guest” on the envelope but don’t know if that’s dated etiquette or not
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  • Melanie
    Dedicated June 2019
    Melanie ·
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    It is odd that they would not put the name on the front. This happened to me once and I just asked them if I could bring him. Obviously, this is a different situation, but I would assume that they did either forgot to add him on or did not invite him.

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  • Melanie
    Dedicated June 2019
    Melanie ·
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    Missed this part. I think some people just don’t put guest on the front, for some odd reason. I certainly hope he would be able to go.

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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    If the name is not listed then assume he isn’t. Very strange the reply card is set up like that. Spouses and significant others are a package deal as a social unit. They are not ‘and guest’ or a plus one.

    If you are inviting someone who is married, you invite both by name on the outer envelope. If you only know one name then you contact the guest to find out what the other person’s name is. You will need this for your escort cards as well.

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  • M
    Expert September 2021
    Marianne ·
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    Typically his name would also be on the envelope, but sometimes etiquette is forgotten... if the wedding has online RSVP, you could always try entering your name and seeing if the option to add your husband appears (if it's truly just you invited, you'll only get the option to RSVP yourself). I've had this happen to me before where the invitation was just to me but I had the option of adding my fiancé's name to the online RSVP.

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  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    Should he have been invited as well? Yes. Was he? That's a question only the couple can answer. If you're close enough to be invited to the wedding, I think it's perfectly acceptable for you to clarify.
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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    Properly, you call the hostess, and inquire, is this invitation for one or two?
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  • Donna
    Savvy May 2021
    Donna ·
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    I would ask for clarification. Better to be safe than assume he is and create an awkward situation.
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  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
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    Yikes. I assume you were given a guest so he is, but I would clarify. They really should have put both of your names on the envelope and card
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  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
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    I would just ask the couple for clarification

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  • Marshaya
    Dedicated April 2022
    Marshaya ·
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    My Mother always told me to ask questions,even when I think it may be a "special " question.
    Ask it anyway!!

    Better to know then to regret it later.
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  • Sarah
    Super August 2021
    Sarah ·
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    I would assume hes not invited because his name is not listed and its doesn't say and guest on envelope. All rsvp cards are the same so I would assume it says guest for the people the couple are allowing to bring a guest.
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  • S
    Expert November 2021
    Sara ·
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    No harm in asking for clarification. Mistakes happen sometimes with invitations so I wouldn't necessarily assume the worst until you ask

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  • Mariah
    Savvy October 2021
    Mariah ·
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    I would call the host to double check to be sure. Being a married couple, normally you would both be invited.
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  • Ashlee
    Beginner May 2022
    Ashlee ·
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    I would ask the hostess. It would be quite confusing otherwise, and I wouldn't want to assume wrongly.

    Though at least what I've been told is that you normally don't invite one person without their partner for a wedding.

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  • Samantha
    VIP October 2022
    Samantha ·
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    Since you do value the connection and it seems like you want to go either way, you can say something like “Thank you so much for the invite, I’m so excited to go. I’m not sure if my husband is invited too, I get guests list get so bloated, and absolutely not a problem if he’s not!”
    Chances are she’s say “oh my god I am so sorry, I really should have gotten his name for the invite, of course he’s invited!”
    I am really cautious about etiquette and am making sure I get everyone’s spouses names, and only doing “guest” if they aren’t partnered. But...I also want to give grace to anyone who slips up, etc. Wedding planning is stressful. Right now my spreadsheet is filled with “Friend’s Name Husband” for all my work colleagues LOL I’m slowly getting their names.
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  • L
    Lady ·
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    I would RSVP for you both due to the lines on the RSVP card. If that's wrong, they will call you and clarify.

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