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Xauddina
Dedicated April 2023

Is it still taboo to see the groom before the wedding?!

Xauddina, on December 31, 2021 at 3:46 AM Posted in Community Conversations 1 30
Hi Ladies aka fellow planners!! I have seen such cute photos/ videos being captured of grooms seeing their wife to be in her wedding dress before the ceremony.. called first loooks .. on the other hand photographers have also photographed couples not being able to see each other but holding hands around a corner or through a door looking so beautiful!! I am at a stand still when it comes to being seen privately before the ceremony or letting him see me for the first time coming down the aisle?! Help a sistaaaaa outtt please!

30 Comments

Latest activity by Janna, on January 12, 2022 at 6:29 PM
  • Sylvana
    Devoted August 2021
    Sylvana ·
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    I did a first look and honestly I loved it. Those were my best photos. The happiness on his face wouldn't have been as pronounced if he was in front of everyone. Instead we had our private moment and it was perfect!


    Of course it's entirely personal preference, but I recommend doing a first look.
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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    It's totally personal preference! By doing a first look, you can get all the photos out of the way before the ceremony, and you can attend cocktail hour with your guests. It also lets you have a moment alone with your fiance, when the rest of the day is spent around so many other people. However, some people prefer to keep the tradition where you first see each other on the walk down the aisle. You'd still be able to get through your photos during cocktail hour if you skip doing a first look. There is no wrong choice here, it all depends on what you and your fiance are comfortable with!


    There are also a few alternatives: you could do a first look with your wedding party and/or parents (but not your fiance), or you could do a first look (but without your veil if you're wearing one) and add the veil for the walk down the aisle, or you could do a first touch (where you stand on either side of a doorway, out of sight from each other, and capture photos of you holding hands, reading letters to each other, and/or saying a prayer).
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  • S
    Super September 2022
    Sarah ·
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    We will be doing a first look because we want that moment to be private and not in front of 150 people. It can also save time to get those pictures done earlier in the day.
    My hair dresser, who is a family friend, did not do a first look and she said she does not regret it at all. She felt it was so special and loved it. So it’s really personal preference.
    If you’re worried about the superstition of it, the concept of seeing the bride for the first time walking down the aisle originated from when couples had arranged marriages. They didn’t want the groom to see the bride so he wouldn’t run away based on her looks. The first time they ever met was at the alter. So TECHNICALLY we’ve all already broken that tradition and there’s no “bad luck” if you do a first look. Either way you choose the moment will be so special for you both!
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  • F
    Dedicated September 2024
    Future Mrs. Weaver ·
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    Me too haha following 😁💖
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  • Xauddina
    Dedicated April 2023
    Xauddina ·
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    Hi Sylvana!! Thank you I just read that to FH & he started laughing because of how true of a statement that was. I think I want that same experience as you! I want to see his face full of emotion! I love the feedback!

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  • Xauddina
    Dedicated April 2023
    Xauddina ·
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    Ahhhh Lisa I never even thought about that! It would be nice to have a few private moments with him before we are surrounded by our guests all evening!! After reading this I think we are going to do a first look! I have always wanted some private moments like that with him. So we can cherish it & then get the party started!! I was reading about private vows to each other maybe we can do that after the first look? Thank you Lisa!

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  • Xauddina
    Dedicated April 2023
    Xauddina ·
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    Haha lets figure this out together !!Smiley catface Smiley ring

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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    Reading your vows privately is a super sweet idea! That can definitely be done during/after the first look. If you have a videographer and want the private vows captured on film, you could have your videographer record you both reading your vows in that moment. My fiance and I are also doing a first look, and I'm so excited to have a few minutes where it's just me and him on our wedding day!
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  • Xauddina
    Dedicated April 2023
    Xauddina ·
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    Yes Sarah! We are only at 125 but still that's so many people! I feel like its our commitment & bond to each other we deserve some special private moments! Saving time with pictures is always a plus, I don't want to spend an hour into our reception taking pictures. lol.

    OMG I never knew what the superstition was... I just thought it was a tradition you were supposed to do!! That is so funny, so they wouldn't be able to run away! You are so right Techincally we have all broken that tradition, makes me feel better about not wanting to follow it! hahah Happy planning Sarah! You should post pictures! Whens your big day????

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  • Cece
    Rockstar October 2023
    Cece ·
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    From day one, my fiancé has been adamant about wanting the first time we see eachother to be when I walk down the aisle. I would be totally fine with a first look, but it is so sweet that he wants that special moment at the altar, so that is what we are doing. However, I never thought about having a special moment before hand to read personal vows! (he has anxiety about speaking in public, and this would be a perfect solution!) I think I’m going to ask him today if he would want to do a “first touch” (The photos you mentioned on opposite sides of a door or corner, etc. where are you can hold hands but not see each other) and read our personal vows to each other that way 💕
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  • C
    Master January 2019
    Cassidy ·
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    My husband absolutely did not want to see me before hand. He wanted to wait and see me walk down the isle. I was fine with that and didn’t push it. We still got a lot of pictures done before the ceremony and made it to some of cocktail hr. My husband would have had the same expression either way we did it, so I wasn’t worried about that, lol. Is it still taboo to see the groom before the wedding?! 1First time seeing each other and literally one of my favorite pictures from the day.
    It’s a personal choice. Weigh the pros and cons of doing it each way and choose what works best for you and your FH


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  • Xauddina
    Dedicated April 2023
    Xauddina ·
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    Yeah I like that ides!! I am so going to have our videographer capture our vows on film! Yes Lisa I am too!! Those are some of the moments we can cherish for forever! Happy Planning gir!

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  • Xauddina
    Dedicated April 2023
    Xauddina ·
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    AWWW that is going to be a beautiful sweet moment at the altar! What kind of venue do you guys have??

    Yeah the first touch and personal vows would be great! It gives you both some personal moments together! I was thinking the personal vows would be a way where we can say some personal things we may no want to say in front of everyone at thee wedding. Do you have a lot of guests? We are around 125.

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  • Xauddina
    Dedicated April 2023
    Xauddina ·
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    OMGosh!! I think I am in love with this picture too!! You both look so happy & excited! His expression says it all! Also I love your dress Cassidy it looks so beautiful! Is this lace or bead work on it?

    Yeah that's a great idea to weigh the pros/cons.. I have something to do today! Write them out & sww what works best for us!

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  • Sharon
    Super September 2021
    Sharon ·
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    We did a first look and honestly I loved it for a few reasons. It was great to have a couple of minutes with just us. I don't know if his reaction would have been the same if he was at the altar waiting for me with all of our guests watching. I know I wouldn't have been able to really see his reaction as well as I did one on one. I think it helped to ease our nerves a little to be able to see each other, hug, and hold hands. And it was great to have all of our formal pictures completed before the ceremony so we could just relax after the ceremony Is it still taboo to see the groom before the wedding?! 2

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  • Elizabeth
    Dedicated November 2021
    Elizabeth ·
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    I'll go against the grain here, I absolutely did NOT want a first look but felt like I had to do one bc we had an evening ceremony in November so if we didn't, all our photos would be post-ceremony nighttime shots. So we did the first look, and I hated it. It felt super awkward and staged - my husband could hear me walking up and then just standing behind him waiting to tap him on the shoulder while the videographers and photographers gave me instructions. They made it look cool on the video, but it felt dumb, forced and anticlimactic in person. Part of the issue was that I had wanted to do it in our ceremony space, but some of our vendors were still setting up in there so we had to do it outside, and I wasn't prepared to walk all over the grounds in my dress and heels (it was a farm/orchard setting), so the spot we picked as a backup wasn't really the best and gave us zero privacy. So, if you're going to do the first look, just make sure you're very clear with your photographers/videographers about the plan for where it's going to be done and how you want it to be done so it can actually be the private moment it's intended to be. And have a Plan A and Plan B in case of weather/vendor setup issues!

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  • C
    Master January 2019
    Cassidy ·
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    It’s both actually!
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  • Xauddina
    Dedicated April 2023
    Xauddina ·
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    Yeah I really want his reaction to be shared between us too. Great great thought I love that , it would be an awesome way to calm our nerves & get ready for the commitment of a lifetime!! Yeah I want to get the formal pictures out the way because I am changing dresses & will want to get down and start the party!!

    Sharon love your lace dress and that veil is perfect for it! Thank you for you advice girl!

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  • Xauddina
    Dedicated April 2023
    Xauddina ·
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    Ahhh oh no elizabeth! I am sorry too hear that! No one should feel like that on their special day!! I wish I could change that for you! Wow thank you for the fore warning though when we plan our first look I will make for sure that it is planned too a tee so that I wont have to walk through grass!! I wish it was a better experience for you Elizabeth!! I am happy to hear all the videos and pictures turned out great!

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  • Xauddina
    Dedicated April 2023
    Xauddina ·
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    Beautiful!!!

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