Is it smart to have the bachelor/bachelorette party the week of the wedding?

Are your BMs and GM asking when you would like them to throw these parties because they are offering? If so, it's okay to give a little guidance about the date. Otherwise, my advice is to sit back and chill. Brides and grooms are not responsible for planning bachelor and bachelorette parties.

DH and I got married in my home state, so we were coming from OOT and our entire WP was coming from OOT and they were scattered across the country. My MOH and his BM chose to plan bachelor and bachelorette party activities for us to go off to do separately as guys and girls throughout the day the day before the wedding. Also, we had a wedding planner through our venue (a hotel) and everything was done by the time we showed up on Thursday to check in. We planned the wedding so that we would have zero responsibilities that weekend and could concentrate on sending time with friends and family.

My MOH planned my bach this past Friday night, FH's best man planned the bach on 5/20 - 5 days before the wedding. There's not much to do at that point, so it's cool by me.

You shouldn't be planning your own bach parties....

We aren't necessarily planning it, we are trying to figure out the most feasible plan for everyone. Once a plan is executed THEN we will allow them to take over. I don't have to know the plans you have for me once we make it to the destination, but as far as how we are going to get there I would like to know those things.

We don't mind paying for our way to where we are going, but as far as what happens when we get there is different.

We actually opted for seperate bach party weekends for this same reason. I preferred my bach wknd to take place 3-4 weeks prior to the wedding day, while he wanted his party to be right before the wedding wknd. If seperate weekends isn't an option, then I would simply go with what FH wants, mainly because there's not much left to do the weekend prior to the wedding. I do agree with BlueHenBride, you should just be relaxing and not plan your own bach parties..if you are planning the parties then I have to retract my previous "go with what the FH wants" bc planning a bachelorette party AND bachelor party so close to the wedding will just add uneccessary stress. So hopefully your wedding parties have it all covered! :-)

My FH is doing his the weekend before our wedding--he's way more chilled out than i am, and also a good chunk of his groomsmates are coming from out of town and were able to be here for both weekends so it worked out well. (personally i am excited that he'll be away so i can putter around and tick all the last minute stuff off the list.) mine is this weekend (2 weeks pre-wedding). i can totally see why you wouldn't want another party the week of the wedding--i felt the same way. and i didn't mind us doing them on separate weekends because i am a hermit anyway and like the chance to be home alone, especially right before something crazy. hopefully you can find a balance between scheduling out of towners and your own preferences.

ETA words

FH and I agreed to have our bachelor/bachelorette parties at least one month before the wedding - just in case someone ends up in the hospital or in jail (yea, we're those people haha). Since our wedding party is scattered all over the country, our bridesmaids/groomsmen each picked party locations that were central to everyone.

FH is having his the last weekend of May. His guys are throwing him a big Vegas weekend trip. Since most of my friends live closer to the location of the wedding, my MoH is throwing mine a week before the wedding (just 1 night in the city). Has your BP asked you about what dates would work or anything? I wouldn't tell them anything unless they've told you that they are throwing these parties in the first place.

HAHA. @Kris

@reirei WE decided on wanting to go to Vegas. The parties will not be together when we get there, but we have decided on wanting everyone to leave together and arrive together... Whatever we do when we GET there is on our bridesmaids and groomsmen... We don't want any part of that.

YOU two decided on Vegas? Can your wedding party afford to get there, or do they live in Vegas?

We gave ours dates that worked for us, and let them figure everything else out. Opted to go for one month before the wedding, to have enough time to recover! ;-)

Also, very happy that I was involved in picking the date because I was asked to work on ALL of the potential dates I gave the girls and if I hadn't known for sure we would be having the party then I would have ended up at work. That being said, it was so great to just show up and know the wedding party had taken care of all the details!

Yes, they can afford it. No one lives in Vegas

Exactly @Future_Mrs. F

Mine was the Thursday before my Saturday wedding. It was in town and low key, but lots of fun. I got to include a few family members who were traveling in for the wedding.

I don't think I would travel to another city, that would have been stressful.

Oh man one thing I'll say is bach parties are fine that close to wedding but Vegas.. wheh lol. I have been four times and I can't imagine getting married 5 days later it took me 3 day just to recover and not smell like vodka lol but that's me

My fiancé and I had ours the last weekend of April, 3 weeks before our wedding, and for me I felt like that was even cutting it close! If you can avoid it, I would recommend not having it the week of the wedding, just in case -- my fiancé is still getting his voice back from his (insert emoji eye roll...)

As a MOH, i planned one the thursday night before the wedding. it was fun (and people didn't have to take two trips) but i was SO hungover for the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. i would space them out if you can.

I always thought they happened the night before the wedding?