Is it rude to only invite some people's children?

You don't have to invite everyone's kids but yes you should keep it consistent...such as only inviting kids of immediate family members (nieces and nephews only). You can draw the line wherever you want. But, the line should be drawn the same for both sides to not offend anyone.

We kept the children being invited to only our first cousins that are children. I'm inviting my coworkers and their spouse but not their children. We're also not inviting our friends children (we only have one friend who has kids anyway and they already said they wanted to find a babysitter). When it comes to family I do believe it has to be even across the board as in your family is treated the same as his as far as invited go and vice versa.

We are having kids we are close to. My FH has kids and all the little cousins will be there. I have friends who I am super close to their kids and others who's kids I rarely see. I just went ahead and asked them. If they had really wanted their kids there we would have included them but most were glad they had an out. I think people feel obligated to bring their kids if they are on the invitation.

I agree that you need to be consistent. It's either kids or no kids. Maybe focus less on the number being even and just worry about inviting who's important to you.

All or none.

I would say invite all or none because that is not fair.

I have a large family, FH does not. We are inviting 1 person under 18 and that is FH only child cousin, and we are giving her a "job" so she is "in the wedding". Not inviting any of the children in my family, not inviting any of our friends kids. Only kids will be FH cousin, and the kids in the BP. I'm being firm about this, because it is all or none, and if we include all that will put us 30 people past our venue limit, and 50 past the number of people we want. I realize some people may not come because of this, especially my OOT family, but I'm set on being fair and consistent

Thanks for all the advice. I think this just comes down to having a discussion with the FIL about whether they are willing to cut down guests (I will too, but they really have more ability to cut at this point) so that kids can be invited. I LOVE KIDS so much and want them there, so it will be disappointing if they don't understand. Otherwise it looks like I need to find my cousins from out of state a babysitter that they feel comfortable enough with, or a job in the wedding.

Maybe it would be nice if either A. At your home or B. If their is a hotel close by venue you pay two sitters for the night for your family out of state. It will still be less then having the kids at the wedding. I personally have a holiday inn 100ft from my venue, we will all be staying there my wedding night so I am getting a room for the kids in my bridal party (I have 8 kids in my bridal party including my son) with two sitters. That way after they are introduced etc they can go play and relax. Honestly it's a long day for kids and I think for the parents it's nice to be able to relax. It's your day tho so after all the families input on both sides talk to your FH and decide what works for you guys. Good luck

I agree with the PP's. Stay consistent. In my case, we chose it not invite an entire generation, since all but one of them are under 18. If we had invited our cousins with all of their kids, then our friends would have to be invited with their kids and it would have added an extra 20 people to the total count. I have a 2nd cousin that will be in town on my wedding day and her grandmother (my aunt) and my mom are trying to get me to let come. But i just keep saying it's not fair to the entire generation on both sides and when they come up with the money to pay for the extra 20 people, then my 2nd cousin can come. I should note that the FH and I are paying for our wedding to prevent anyone else from having a say in how we choose to celebrate.

I'm having the same issue but I'm just gonna keep it consistent and hope the in town guests find sitters lol

I’m having the same issue! However, this is with one of my friends and not a family member. Majority of my family is coming from Mexico. All of my cousins and uncles/aunts have children. I could not imagine not inviting them as it has been well over 20 years! I’m stuck, not sure what to do anymore because my friend said that her mom would take them after the ceremony and her mom wasn’t even aware nor agreed! My friend and her mom guilted me by saying the children were highly upset with me for not inviting them. We wanted a no-kid wedding with the exception of people traveling out of town. Now I don’t know how to reaproach this situation or do I just let them handle it? I would hate for the Mom not to enjoy herself.